i’ll always want the best for u even if we don’t speak anymore

You are laughing. I'm electrocuting your balls and you are laughing

no mom i’m not high my eyes are red because i’m evil

Dump your boyfriend and master the art of sudoku instead

These guys would be the biggest hit at any Renaissance fair they went to.

shawty's like a malady in my head

u know when i was 12 i just kinda assumed the cullens' cover story worked bc a 23 year old is obviously an Adult and no one would question why or how he adopted like five kids between the ages of 17 and 20 but now that im in my 20s i have come to the conclusion that everyone in forks knows the cullens are vampires bc they all took one look at carlisle "i look like im fresh out of undergrad but im a doctor i swear" cullen and his gaggle of nearly-adult "children" and collectively called bullshit

i think im getting better! :) [another event occurs]

"Friends dont look at friends that way" COWARD. I look at my friends with awe in my eyes, my chest is filled with love, im glowing because i get to be near my friends. I look at my friends and i would give them my everything. SO SKILL ISSUE, look at your friends with all the love that you have

TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HOME or I’m going to be worried about you BITCH.

Are they like..... Yknow.... [Goes to do a hand gesture but forgets I'm a wizard and I accidentally cast Lv50 lightning bolt]

Fanfiction is insane. You can write porn so good you make friends.