i’ll always want the best for u even if we don’t speak anymore

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

changing your bedsheets is a full contact sport if you're bad enough at it

following people who are into wrestling is just like "holy shit johnny appleseed just hit burner hurtzog (evil artfilm director-themed wrestler) with the Prostate Puncher 5000! can't fucking stand that guy!" like all day long

buffy summers when she finds out the club in sunnydale has been condemned: our club of bronze is collapsing

I’m not gonna lie very little has been going according to keikaku these days

little miss normal didn't hear what the group was talking about because she hasn't stopped reminiscing internally about how good it felt when she successfully managed to say her joke at the right time to make everyone laugh 30 minutes ago

if I was cupid I'd line up trickshots to form polycules all the time. it'd be all I ever do