Moving through life slowly and with a hefty dose of sarcasm

Panels:

Quick note: I didn’t get to see Jim and Sierra outside of panels and one group photo, which I feel a bit bad about, but they were announced after I’d already done my budgeting and frankly already blown it... I will say though that I was so lucky to meet Sierra at the 2023 convention and she is absolutely divine in every way.

I had a clash during Jim and Sierra’s panel so only caught the end of it, but luckily what I caught was good. Sierra said that it was deeply painful not to come back, but emphasized that the cast are all friends. She was happy to be in Paris and back interacting with fans and her castmates. She’s soooo nice. Gosh. (Also…I accidentally made eye contact with Jim while he was smoking on the terrace. It was oddly intense! He doesn’t to me read as tall as you’d think in real life! He’s a tall guy but it’s not like an 8ft giant. Which for some reason I was expecting.)

The Tarlos panel was fun! Rafa arrived for it first and had to begin on his own. Ronen showed up a couple of minutes late with an espresso in a lil glass mug. Rafa gave him playfully mocking looks and patted the chair beside him for Ronen to sit his ass down. I’ve already linked to it when answering an ask, but they were like this tweet suggests and it’s sending me. Whenever the French translation was happening, they’d start chatting and laughing with each other or posing goofily for photos. My words for them during the panels are: Sweet, sassy, mischievous and magnetic. You just can’t take your eyes off them.

I tried to write down what I could. A lot has been shared on Twitter so I don’t want to be too repetitive, but my main takeaways are:

When asked if TK and Carlos would ever take each other’s last names, Rafa said a very clear YES. I don’t think I caught which way around though (sorry!)

Ronen and Rafa are obsessed with the ol’ police station scene bless them. AS THEY SHOULD BE. BECAUSE SAME!!!

Ronen also loves the wedding – that’s his other fave.

Ronen said (I think…still in regards to the police station scene) it’s when he realised they were doing something bigger than just being actors on a TV show. To paraphrase: He’ll cherish it forever and it means the world that there’s a community behind it; he hopes more people will connect with the show and find that community.

Rafa said Carlos would be into Linkin Park and Blink 182 because of his pent up anger. I love Rafa so much.

Rafa spoke a lot about how finding Gabriel’s killer didn’t bring him real closure and healing – it was being able to move on with TK and them adopting Jonah that was going to be the healing thing. He said that by trying to find the killer he was slowly losing his husband; it would be the worst thing to lose another important person a second time.

Ronen wishes they could have filmed the scene where they talk about the adoption, but they were impacted by such a short season and couldn’t tell the story in full on screen.

Ronen said Carlos must be the most understanding and selfless partner ever. It’s not surprising that Carlos came around and they got their happy ending.

Someone asked what Tarlos’ road trip songs would be. Ronen and Rafa agreed they should make one (I think they will not haha, but it would be so much fun if they suddenly dropped a cheesy playlist as a duo!) It would be sing along songs they could belt. Rafa said for Carlos he’d want some Selena, Soul Train, Beyonce, party music. No Linkin Park anymore because it’s happy fun times. They laughed about not being able to give a better answer, but I think it was a great answer! Super endearing.

911 Lone Star Group Panel

I didn’t write anything down for this because I was lucky enough to get to ask a question – too busy standing in line feeling very nervous. I’m going to be a bit lazy here and link to the video if you want to hear my terrible voice. In essence: I asked what TK and Carlos’ parenting styles would be and what parenting advice Judd and Grace would give.

Ronen said he thinks TK would be more wild and Carlos would provide more structure, and that Judd and Grace would probably be the first friends they spoke to. (Then he dropped his microphone! And Rafa was all ‘girl, get it together!’ It’s so often the random and accidental little moments that provide so much joy.)

Rafa said he’d turn to his mom for help. He’d want to find out about parenting in a deeper way. He said Ronen would answer better because he is a parent now, but overwhelm is normal and Carlos’ life wouldn’t be about him anymore, it’s about the child, and if he’s going to do it correctly and wholeheartedly he needs to understand on a true and deep level. But he also agreed they’d want to turn to Judd and Grace too.

Sierra said it would have been fun to play. Her advice would be along the lines of the instincts you would follow with raising one child would be different to your next child – so her point was around seeing the kids as individuals with their own personalities and needs.

Jim said Judd’s advice would be “Don’t let your son ride his bike in the road.” Sage wisdom. Poor Judd!

I’m really struggling to remember anything else because I was floating to the ceiling on helium balloons at this point. But it was a good panel!!!

Selfies

I loved getting the selfies. They’re more relaxed than the photoshoots. It’s the actor taking the photo, so they are doing it at their own pace and it’s more cosy/friendly. With the photoshoots, there are photographers waiting for you to get on with it. I was very conscious of that. If I were to do this again, I’d consider getting a few selfies rather than an individual photoshoot again.

Due to the cosier nature of the selfies, I actually have a secret that I cannot share! Because Ronen asked me not to 🤭 But I had a hilarious moment with him and I loved how my selfie turned out.

Rafa is the biggest cutie pie sweetheart. He’s so warm and open and cuddly. He brought me in close for the first selfie I got with him. In 2023, he was sitting at the autograph table so I had to crouch, but this time we were both standing – a much less awkward way to interact. For the second selfie with Rafa, Mar and I decided to do it on a whim. He’d just left the room when we arrived, so his handler had to bring him back! We were laughing and apologising and he was SO generous. He laughed about it too and told us not to worry.

The best thing ever then proceeded to happen: Rafa told me he liked my shirt! He didn’t have to say anything!!!! But he said that!!! I told him the shirt reminded me of something both TK and Carlos would wear. He was like “Yeah! They would!” and then I told him it was thrifted, so even better! He was like “Oh that’s really cool” Then he steered me because he’d decided he’d found the right light for our selfie, although I’m not sure he did 😂 It’s still a good selfie – but bloody hell, it’s the little chat we had that made me so happy. I can’t even explain it. But when you get that extra moment of being affable and having a tiny connection, in this case just over a shirt, it makes everything shine. I felt like I started shining because of his warmth. It was just amazing. It warmed my core.

Photoshoots

I did individual photoshoots with Ronen and Rafa and two Tarlo duo shoots. I was most nervous about this because I didn’t love how they came out last time – I don’t think the lighting is good, and the witchy-faced among us do rely on good lighting. However! I’m very happy with how they came out this time. I feel like I had short conversations with them during the individual shoots but lord only knows what was said. I mainly remember the duo shoots. I asked for a hug both times because why in the name of all that is good and pure would I want anything else?! I wasn’t brave enough to ask for a hug last time, but this time I went for it and it turns out they dgaf and are happy to do it because loads of people want a hug. Hugging is their bread and butter. Because of how they were standing, I ended up hugging Rafa both times with Ronen behind me. I did not orchestrate it like that!!! I swear! I hereby confirm that Rafa is a cuddle-ball. I love how they came out. It looks like my two dads are very proud of me on graduation day or something.

Autographs

While I was waiting for my Rafa autograph, Ronen and Rafa were sitting at tables next to each other and kept teasing each other. When waiting for my Ronen autograph, there was a table between them – but that did not stop them! Rafa joked about having an Only Fans because someone asked him to sign a shirtless photo of him. Ronen stood up with interest 🥲

There are prints sold at the convention that you can buy for them to sign, but you can ask for them to sign anything (except tits and ass I guess?). I decided to buy just the one print of them kissing at the wedding and asked them both to sign it. I gave them both a card with a design on it by @thisbuildinghasfeelings from her cross stitch – I was so happy to be able to do that and bring her with me in some way! I told them I’m better at saying things through writing than through talking. They were both all “I totally get it!” I told Ronen I appreciated him doing the conventions because it made the show live beyond the show itself. He said that meant a lot and he wrote a cute message on the photo. I told Rafa that every time I see him I just keep saying thank you, but I also felt that it could never be said enough. I have no idea what he said back because I think I died? I do remember that he asked where I was from. I said London, to which he replied ‘born and raised?’ I was not expecting to be asked a question so I hesitated for what felt like an entire minute before saying yes. I got stuck wondering what level of detail he needed before remembering he did not request my life story or the history of urban sprawl. Although, with more time, I believe he would listen with interest. It was great! I loved it. Once again it felt very warm.

Meeting Rooms

I went to both the Tarlos duo meeting rooms – I think this must be the absolute peak for me, other than chatting a bit with Rafa about my shirt. The meeting room on Saturday was a lot smaller than the one on Sunday. I didn’t say anything in the Saturday one other than joining in with other Brits in telling them to come to London. They were amenable to this. It’s a funny thing when they enter the room, because everyone goes silent. They sit down and there’s a moment of just staring until Ronen breaks the ice. I didn’t feel like I could write anything down in the meetings, but they were recorded so perhaps there will be a chance to see them…I hope so! I’d love to relive it. I do remember someone asking if TK and Carlos would have more kids. Rafa replied with a very certain yes. I love him. Ronen talked a lot about being a dad. At the end of the meeting he showed Rafa a video of his baby boy (and he showed some nearby fans! I caught a short glimpse – very cute!) I feel bad that I don’t remember more of what was said. I was trying to absorb it, but what I remember is the feeling. The vibe was really nice. It’s incredible to have a small audience with them. We were sitting so close to them, and it wasn’t like a super quick photoshoot where you get all nervous lining up and then in seconds it’s over. It was half an hour of just being with them casually, and them answering questions that become more conversational.

On Sunday, I was feeling more confident – I’d had such lovely interactions with them, I’d felt brave enough to ask a question at the panel, I’d had a brandy – so in a moment of quietness I asked what they would tell their previous selves around the time they got cast in Lone Star. I then told them that their future selves will be proud of them right now. The compliment landed well but then I had to repeat the question. Rafa answered very beautifully about how he wouldn’t say anything because it would steer things off course. Again, paraphrasing, but his past self needed to stumble through the dark and illuminate rooms when he found the switch, and he can’t be guided to those switches. But one day all the rooms will be lit. Essentially, it’s okay not to know things, because we can’t. I found this to be a really helpful answer – I didn’t know it’s what I needed, but I’m so terrified on behalf of my future self, all of the time, of the unknowns. The fear of all the things that could go wrong, and how you don’t know until it happens. And because I’m so scared of things going wrong, often I don’t even try. So it was a good reminder to not beat myself up for not knowing all the things I can’t possibly know anyway.

I could feel myself going bright fucking red when I was speaking so I HAD TO ACTUALLY FAN MYSELF while Rafa was answering!!! It was kind of the best of times and the worst of times. Just as Charles Dickens himself predicted.

They were asked how they pictured TK and Carlos in 20 years. Rafa said hopefully retired. Ronen agreed and quipped about a big pension. Ronen said they’d be somewhere tropical with Jonah. Rafa looked at him like he was bonkers and jumped in with “Not with Jonah – let the guy live his life!” and Ronen realised that Jonah would be a grown man lol. It was very sweet to imagine them trying to drag Jonah to their retirement property. I may need to write a Golden Girls-eqsue fic along these lines…

Then!!! At the end, we all posed for a group shot! Rafa started off crouching down next to me! Ahh!! He was about to put his arm around me but then he was told to move to the back! So an extra squish was not had. Never mind! I’d already had plenty. I felt completely fulfilled. I felt like I’d got back what I put in. I have some wishes but no regrets.