hand on my stupid heart

yes, the rumors are true, i'm a lovey dovey dumbass

Leave your job for a muscular woman in flannel instead.

i scroll for me AND my girlfriend. who else will send her all these funny posts perfectly curated to her tastes?

maybe I’d be sleeping better if I was having hot sweaty dyke sex before bed

OK, fine, the Brits can take this one W for once.

Father Jones explained that his "advice does not contradict the Bible's eighth commandment because God's love for the poor and despised outweighs the property rights of the rich."

rare occurence: tfw a christian seems to have read the same book I did

Funniest bit: OP, who is deactivated, made this post expecting people to side with the corporations

a lesbian life tip is that complimenting a girl on the shape of her hands is a way to appear relatively normal or maybe slightly odd and painterly to everyone else in the room while still indicating to her directly that you are deliriously slobberingly verge-of-blacking-out horny

i think about this every day actually

I don't know why this keeps happening but I keep meeting toxic heterosexual couples who experiment with polyamory and are heavily into funko pops, board games, Disney princesses and Burlesque stripping and the man is always a withdrawn bearded dude and the woman is always a passive aggressive control freak with an Etsy shop that sells lawn gnomes styled after Dr Who characters and they don't really even seem to like each other but they're always exactly the same. this has happened four times