you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

Real life really is just like Neopets. Every day I get up. Feed my pets. Get a free omelette at the giant omelette. Go to my job at the ice cream factory where I have to dodge giant scoops of ice cream at increasingly high speeds

*walking into the morgue to find body parts scattered across the floor* oh my god who closed last night

i don’t think we can gaslight gatekeep girlboss our way out of this one boys

the mitochondria is the girlboss of the cell

whew ok, time to work! ..okay. okay. let’s get started. …,,okeyy ah lets do this. yep…. okay. yes sir lets do this. let’s get started….just gonna start now yep. ,,okay. okay. okayy. ok. …ok..okey…..alright ok.. right hhh