You are an unreliable narrator because your coping mechanisms for your deep-seated trauma forbid you from acknowledging the reality of the situation. I am an unreliable narrator because I sincerely have no idea what the fuck is going on.

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

the more time you spend in active recovery from any given self destructive behavior or addiction the more you understand the common conception of the "relapse" as defined by a broken "streak" to be, like, so bad for one's own well-being that it would be funny if it weren't resulting in just a lot of misery and death

I told my girlfriend to think of quitting vaping as training her endurance by seeing how long she can run before she gets tired, then doing it again and hoping to go further next time. She said it really helped her.

If i had a dick i just know that i could get hard because of good music

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal

ilya comes back from therapy with galina like three months after this fight (of course it was a fight) and with the same candor as ashley padilla in then mom confession sketch goes i’m only going to say this once and i’m only going to say it if after i do you promise you will not react no talking no faces no nothing and shane’s on the couch reading like uh. what’s going on? and ilya goes what i have to tell you. Is that I think I was treated unfairly. By my mom. and of course shane makes a face and ilya is reacting like a wild fucking animal

#but that was his mama and he loved her so much and she was gone way too soon and he has put her up on a pedestal :(#because what else was 12 year old ilya supposed to do and she wasn't strict like his father so for him that meant she automatically couldn'#do anything wrong because at least she was better than his father and on her good days she hugged him and told him she loved him#and ilya has a hard time computing that two things can be true at once yes she loved him yes she also treated him unfairly sometimes#<- not only does he put her on a pedestal but he also romanticizes his own role in this situation#''wasn't i a good son? wasn't i so mature and empathetic and sensitive and nice?''#because of course this is what his mother would tell him (which reinforced those ideas)#and also suddenly being nice and soft and sensitive wasn't a bad thing like his father would say#it would make him feel vindicated#which again just reinforced the feeling#ilyalogía#heated rivalry

i love giving up and getting worse

oh you're touch starved? here eat up *fucking punches you*

mind you i’m doing this shit while employed. never give up

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars