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Feeling funny today

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taylortut

the “sexy lamp test” but for disabled folks: if you can replace your disabled character with a beloved pet dog that needs an expensive surgery to survive then you have to throw out your manuscript

taylortut

reblogging one of my most underrated posts: the dying dog test

sodiumvaporss

i do have to say that no matter how shitty any sort of media is or how shitty your own creations are. always remember

aquato-blog

getting a note on a super old post

estel-and-agape

possibly-emu

reblog to slap op with some paper in the wind

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

"didn't they already do this with—" no. put them in a slasher film. put them in a BLOODBATH. put this van full of weirdoes in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenario i have FAITH in them

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

THEY'D DO WELL IN SAW

batneko

okay I'm thinking about this

not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.

like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.

and then the deaths start and suddenly the nerds are locked the fuck in. The little one with the glasses actually fixed the phone line and is taking stock of all their supplies in case the vehicles go out. The counselor's cousin who seemed like a himbo has set up a perimeter and made makeshift alarms for all the doors and windows, knows all the entry points. The anxious one and his dog are keeping the mood up with the snacks and activities that were supposed to be for the kids, making sure nobody panics and starts making dumb decisions. Somebody tried to grab the redhead and she flipped him over and had him zip-tied before anybody noticed. Weren't they a D&D group or something? What is happening???

lizardlicks

Fuck the slasher movie just effectively becomes Home Alone but with Four Kevin McAllisters

Bro's fucked.

ode-on-a-grecian-butt

art by Daviddv1202

dawen

at one point the kid with the anxiety dog says, "man, why does this keep happening? this is, like, the eighth time thid year!"

it's barely June. abruptly all the normal councilors understand a) why he has an anxiety dog, and b) why the dog has anxiety too.

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biomaterial

new kind of guy dropped

3liza

he's unironically 100% correct and i will hear nothing against him

peterfromtexas-deactivated20250

Reenactor throws a spear at a drone

supapoopa

What a time to be alive.

tenthcorner

“The medieval warrior, realizing the consequences of his impulsive act, immediately approached the owner of the drone and offered to pay for the damage.

The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.

Drone owners have another year to develop a unique “dragon-like” design for their flying machines.” (x)

kineticpenguin

I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it

brunhiddensmusings

just so everyone knows, this has already been memorialized in a runestone

stephendann

Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll

fromaliminalspace

a rough translation of inscription on the runestone:

On the seventh day of May in the year of 2016 on hither spot the mighty warrior Ulf hath slain a dragon with his spear.

so yeah, happy birthday to this dragon-slaying event and to it only

nonlinear-nonsubjective

Happy Ulf Hath Slain A Dragon With His Spear!

heartclef

NEW EARTH PHOTO JUST DROPPED FROM ARTEMIS II

jedusaur

When you’re in the middle of playing hockey, you don’t have much time or lungpower to spare for lengthy chats, so hockey players develop a lot of on-ice shorthand. Some of this is probably limited to beer leagues like mine, but I’ve definitely heard a few of these phrases caught on the rink-level mics during NHL games, so I thought maybe some of y’all who don’t play hockey might be interested in translations of a few of the things hockey players yell at each other mid-game.

OFF = You are offside.

OOOOOOOFF = You are offside and don’t seem to realize it; stop trying to touch the puck and move your ass out of the fucking zone before you force a whistle.

CHANGE = You’ve been on the ice a long time.

CHAAAAAAANGE = Are you aware that there are other people on this team who would like to play hockey at some point?

ONE ON = An opposing player is trying to get the puck away from you and it appears that you haven’t noticed.

GOT TIME = Don’t panic and fling the puck into Siberia, there’s no one close enough to take it away from you right this second.

ICE IT = We’ve been in our zone for three minutes and everyone on the ice is nearing collapse, so go ahead, panic and fling the puck into Siberia.

I’M OPEN = Pass toward the sound of my voice right fucking now.

ALL YOU = Take the puck forward yourself; everyone else is far enough behind you that you should not rely on getting any backup on this developing play.

I GOT YOU = You are so egregiously out of position that it makes more sense for us to just switch jobs for a minute.

I GOT IT = If we both skate hard to the puck at the same time, as is currently happening, there will be no one to pass it to and also we are liable to collide in an unproductive fashion, so just let me handle it.

I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT = You did not listen to me and we are about to collide in an unproductive fashion.

edited to add: NOOOOOOOOOOO = The ref has signaled no icing on this play, so quit gliding while you wait for a whistle and move your damn feet. (This is probably the most confusing one to overhear if you don’t know what it means XD)

jedusaur

back in the day this post made the rounds in hockey RPF and in Check Please and I am pleased to see once again a hockey-based fandom full of people who know nothing about hockey circulating this crucial info XD for the record I am always happy to splain hockey at pretty much anyone who asks!

jedusaur

oh that just means they’re a goalie. there is no explaining goalies. one time I asked my goalie why he didn’t use a gear bag with wheels (goalie bags almost always have wheels bc they have more/heavier equipment) and he—bent almost double under the weight of his gigantic bag—looked me straight in the eye and said “it makes me appreciate the game more.” I once knew a goalie who communicated solely via gifs of porn bloopers. there’s one NHL goalie whose pregame ritual is to go sit in the empty arena and stare at the empty ice surface for literal hours. each goalie is a full subculture that no one understands but themselves

jedusaur

spectacular proof of my point here from a truly magnificant specimen of the species

(I didn’t cut off the tags at the bottom there, that is how it ended)

coelii

how my wife and I communicate when we miss each other

coelii

ah fuck this is currently breaching containment

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crow--teeth

no fucking awoo. no awoo right now. its late. its not awoo time. its sleeping time. go the fuck to bed.

crow--teeth

every fucking night, without fail, this post i made abt my dog gets mass reblogged by furries (and/or blorbo fans). and thats ok but i need ppl to know this is happening to me

shoezuki

obsessed with the canadian ghoulmaxxing acecel

2-point-5

it bugs me how many lesbians have issues with trans women. like, we're supposed to love women. what's next, you gonna start hating short people too? fuck off.

2-point-5

AND TRANS GUYS. "ooohhhhh they're betraying womanhood" no, they're men. jfc not everything is a personal attack some people are just guys.

2-point-5

reblog this version too actually

wizardshark

hey can you guys keep an eye on my red explosive barrels while i go take a nap

do NOT smoke weed beside them

blappature-executive

Visit Original Link

cosmonautroger

monday

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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crabussy

I bet it feels real good to be a sailing ship when they tighten the rigging

crabussy

wrong. everyone get more perverted about marine vessels now and I'm not kidding

crabussy

this post reaching Actual Ship Captains is beyond delightful holy moly

assfuckmcgriddle

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