"this situation cannot possibly be improved by me opening my stupid mouth" is perhaps the most important thought that it's possible to have

let's start killing and eating eachother

computer show me men with wet spots in their underwear. men making a mess in their boxers. men gasping and panting. men pressing their thighs together. men with trembling hands and sweat beading on their neck. men with warm, sweet skin between their thighs. men twitching. computer. computer can you hear me.

I think the key to a happy life as an adult woman is to channel your inner weird little girl and make her happy

2027 ; i will pay you to keep your hand over my mouth

i dont like sex or heaving sex and i dont like bugs in the kitchen that crawl across the counter