tired and distant

like ofc the women involved are completely stripped of their autonomy and are clearly only doing it for the attention of guys. they have no say in the matter and are simply brainwashed by their partner to do whatever they want like a lapdog. OR if the woman does dare to take actual pleasure in their own relationship and identity, they’re “tainting” the purity of actual relationships and are really sex-crazed sluts.

and the men involved are all predators who are trying to appear less dangerous to trick women into doing whatever they want. it’s all about their own sexual gratification and they are actually just emotionless fuck dolls

AND regardless of gender, they’re all painted as dirty, sexual deviants.

and ofc when people point this out, the ones making the jokes always go “oh well ofc I was only talking abt the ugly cishets who do it” even tho their post was directed at “polyam people” in general. just like the people who make ugly jokes about “m/f relationships” and then act shocked when bi/trans people who are in m/f relationships ask for clarification.

DO NOT BOYCOTT LUSH NORTH AMERICA!

Lush UK and Lush North America are different!

Lush UK is owned by Mark Constantine, the guy supporting cops.

Lush North America is owned by Mark Wolverton and Karen Delaney-Wolverton and they support Black Lives Matter. This is their Twitter which is full of BLM content and info about allyship, etc. right now.

This is their homepage:

They sent out this letter to their employees and posted it online:

Night in the Woods and Oneshot are both in it, not to mention literally hundreds of other cool indie games I haven’t played yet that look really cool and promising. 

Someone put red paint on the "Serve and Protect" sculpture at the Salt Lake City police building and it is such a powerful statement.

So I found this and sent it to her. Because this is what they want to know: how badly is this pain affecting you? Not on a scale of “nothing” to “how I’d imagine it’d feel if bears were eating my still-living guts while I was on fire”. 

10 - I am in bed and I can’t move due to my pain. I need someone to take me to the emergency room because of my pain.

9 - My pain is all that I can think about. I can barely move or talk because of my pain.

8 - My pain is so severe that it is difficult to think of anything else. Talking and listening are difficult.

7 - I am in pain all the time. It keeps me from doing most activities.

6 - I think about my pain all of the time. I give up many activities because of my pain.

5 - I think about my pain most of the time. I cannot do some of the activities I need to do each day because of the pain.

4 - I am constantly aware of my pain but can continue most activities.

3 - My pain bothers me but I can ignore it most of the time.

2 - I have a low level of pain. I am aware of my pain only when I pay attention to it.

1 - My pain is hardly noticeable.

For example, if someone asked me how much pain I’m in at any given time, I’d say hardly any, and yet I’m apparently at a chronic 2.5, and it only goes up from there depending on the day. 

10: can barely move; can’t talk

9: can barely move; can talk

8: can move, but can’t do much more than watch TV

7: can watch TV and play a game on my phone simultaneously

6: can do work on my computer lying in bed

5: can get around the house, but definitely couldn’t go out

4: can run a light errand

3: can get in my 10,000 steps, making my fitbit happy

2: can do three or more activities in a single day

Mental Health Pain Scale transcription:

MILD

1 - Everything is a-okay! There is absolutely nothing wrong. You’re probably cuddling a fluffy kitten right now. Enjoy!

2 - You’re a bit frustrated or disappointed, but you’re easily distracted and cheered up with a little effort.

3 - Things are bothering you, but you’re coping. You might be overtired or hungry. The emotional equivalent of a headache.

MODERATE

4 - Today is a bad day (or a few bad days). You still have the skills to get through it, but be gentle with yourself. Use self-care strategies.

5 - Your mental health is starting to impact on your everyday life. Easy things are becoming difficult. You should talk to your doctor.

6 - You can’t do things the way you usually do them due to your mental health. Impulsive and compulsive thoughts may be hard to cope with.

SEVERE

7 - You’re avoiding things that make you more distressed, but that will make it worse. You should definitely seek help. This is serious.

8 - You can’t hide your struggles any more. You may have issues sleeping, eating, having fun, socialising, and work/study. Your mental health is affecting almost all parts of your life.

9 - You’re at a critical point. You aren’t functioning any more. You need urgent help. You may be a risk to yourself or others if left untreated.

The most interesting and compelling part of a character’s life is supposed to be the story you’re going to tell; you’re defeating the object by shoving all of the cool shit into their backstory. The actual purpose of the backstory is to inform your character’s behaviour and choices and the way they react to things so you can play/write them consistently! A solid backstory is a great way to make your character a whole person with a personality that makes sense.

My paladin was a folk hero. Fought off bandits and saved a town. One of the first campaign battles, she rolled a one and yeeted her sword across the room.

Cue her going very red and stammering about how she was usually more proficient than this but you know. She had hurt her arm. And slept weird last night. You know. Perfectly reasonable explanations for not knowing how to swing a sword.

So I guess my advice for new players is to make whatever backstory you want. If you were epic beforehand and want to grow as a character still? Lean into it. Explain why they’re at level one. Did they land in a coma for a year, and their muscles atrophied? Did a wizard cast a spell on them? Did they just fall off their horse and hit their head really hard?

Anything is possible. And there are ways to do it serious and gritty if you want- say they took a serious blow protecting a loved one or even just an ally, but corrupt energy in the wound prevented magical healing and it didn’t heal right. They have to relearn everything left handed because they lost their right. The whack on the head was by an enemy attacking their group and they only survived because they passed out and the enemy thought they were dead. They have constant splitting migraines that make it hard to focus. There are so many ways to explain why they’re back down to level one.

And any answer is fun. Even if that answer is just “things are easier where I’m from.”

Play with it. Make a character you want to play. No matter who that is.