Salty, alternative, unreal

I used to be salternateunreality, but shenanigans, woe, misery, and now I am salternateunreality2.

Call me Salty (they/them). I mostly post about FF7, but also miscellaneous fandoms, causes, and animals when the mood strikes.

I started this blog to support my AO3 ramblings, which can be found here:

If you're looking for a particular post that I wrote and you can't find it because t*wblr search is a hot mess, you're in luck because most of them get saved here. If they're not there, they might be standalone fics or lost to the ether. Good luck.

THE SCENE: I AM IN PAIN AND LAYING IN BED AS I WAIT FOR MY GOSH DARN PAIN MEDS TO KICK IN. MY MIND IS OPENLY WANDERING WHEN WHO TF STRUTS ONTO THE MINDSCAPE?!

GENESIS FUCKIN RHAPSODOS

IN FRONT OF A HOSPITAL

LECTURING HORSE!CLOUD

WHO HAS THERAPY CAT CAIT SITH SITTING ON HIM

AND THen I cackle at the mental image (because horse!Cloud, like human!Cloud, don’t give a shit and is rolling his eyes & Genesis is ruffling his metaphorical rooster feathers at the audacity of his beloved bastard pony how dare you sir—) and suffer another jolt of the sharp owies for it.

I’m not feeling up to being back yet, but I just had to let you know I’m thinking of your awesomeness and your AU lives in my head rent free. It doesn’t even knock on the door, just bursts in like “move, I’m gay & full of chaos”.

💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️

☁︎ ( @violetinkclouds )

No but HE DOES THAT! He's one of the most irritating characters ever and I want to put him in a jar and shake him for how many times he's interrupted a story and told me how he thinks it should go. NO ONE ELSE IN FF7 IS THAT BAD. Not even Cloud or Zack! JUST GENESIS FUCKIN RHAPSODOS!

ROFL YEP. @violetinkclouds

Angeal: You know, since he's so good with sick kids, we should register him as a therapy horse at the local hospital! It would be so sweet to see him playing with the children 🥰

Genesis: Beloved, are you insane? He is a MENACE.

Angeal gets his way though and soon learns why Genesis was right when Cloud fully sits down and refuses to leave. Just. On his butt. No doubt hurting his fragile little horse leggies. Conspiring with the weird guy's weird robot cat. Refusing to move.

Every time Genesis annoys him into getting up and moving, he does move....further away from the exit. His goal? There's a kid who is afraid of people in scrubs and Cloud is determined to stay between the kid and the people for all eternity.

Genesis: CLOUD. Visiting hours are OVER. Denzel is SAFE. It is time to LEAVE.

Cloud: *placidly chews on nothing*

Genesis: WHAT ARE YOU EATING?!?!

Cloud: *flicks tail in Genesis' face, turns booty to Gen, nibbles Denzel's hair to get him to giggle*

Genesis: *much squawking and flapping*

Angeal: Honey, we need to get him to move.

Genesis: HEWLEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO DO?!?! *hauls and clicks and shoves Cloud's shoulder to get him to back out of the room*

Cloud: *shifts up, steps on Genesis' foot, shifts back down*

Genesis, who has learned by now to wear factory-grade steel boots: NO! NAUGHTY!!! 🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜

Angeal, to Cloud: Sweet pea, that's going to hurt your leg!

Genesis: WHOSE LEG?!?!?!

Denzel: *more giggling*

They'll only go home after a very brave nurse demonstrates what he's going to do for Denzel on Cloud and Denzel gives Cloud the ok to go home because he's feeling brave now. Cloud only doesn't murderify the nurse because Genesis is feeding him endless treats while singing in his ear and Angeal is scratching his itchy spot on his booty.

So sorry you're not feeling well but glad you're still around! I was starting to think I hadn't heard from you and wondering if you were ok ❤️

Cloud says to kick the pain/illness in the teeth.

Angeal recommends gentle movement in whatever limbs can move.

Genesis recommends being a tyrant and demanding everything and anything that would make you comfortable, no holds barred.

Sephiroth doesn't know what to do or say, so he starts science-dumping while using a camp stove to heat up soup (the only way he knows how to cook).

Zack offers a big hug and says take it easy and good job remembering your meds and you can do it!

Cloud butts back in and drops the contents of his pockets on the nearest surface: a nice rock, some jerky, a water bottle, and a knife and a small block of pine so you can carve if you get bored.

❤️ you are so sweet and I hope you feel tons better super soon

He grows up as a prodigy, pioneering new pasteurization techniques and rocketing to the top of the world's most advanced elite squad in the world's most advanced elite military. He is a talented lover of the arts and fashion, he is a charismatic leader, and a skilled mage.

And he's not good enough.

He's always second or third, he can't compete with the weird super-prodigy, and all his efforts in science and combat are meaningless in the face of disease.

Not canon, but it's easy to imagine him being praised constantly for his genius and more importantly, only shown love/affection/attention when he brings his parents or Shinra glory/value/money, and how he now needs to be the best out of habit to keep that love.

If he asks for help, he's weak. He has no framework for asking for help. He has no habit of knowing others CAN help him--he's always been the best and smartest in the room.

So he uses what he does know: showmanship, theater, anger, power, charisma...and it shoots right past the person who actually could save him. Sephiroth is used to theater, anger, power, and charisma being used to manipulate him, but he would love to help a friend. He could be reached with the tiniest scrap of genuine kindness. He could be reached by asking politely.

But that's never worked for Genesis with authority figures, so why would he try?