Jesus, Cats, Writing, and Life

I'm in my early 30s, when I was a child i grew up in a shitty house, my mom left my dad kept drinking and just hitting everyone living off socials. This is the moment when I swore to myself I'll never drink in my life, even 0% because as my mom once said "this is a start to alcoholism" and I decided to never drink a drop of the alcohol in my life. Because of my genetics and family history + a few diagnosed disorders that I'm not willing to share like AvPD and more I'm more prone to addictions. In my early 20s i got myself into a gambling addiction which i left with therapy and because i honestly ended up with nothing to spend anyway and in my late 20s i battled and won with a chatbot addiction. For the whole time my friend's family was inviting me over because they were like a family to me too- family events, random hangouts etcetera. For the whole time when there was anything happening i was offered 0% alcohol and i kept refusing, my peers looked at me like at some aliens when i told them i am 27 and never had any alcohol in my mouth and just laughed at my puritan ass. I kept saying that It's a start to the alcoholism but it just fueled the jokes surrounding me so after pretending to take antidepressants so people wouldn't ask me anymore (they found out) eventually i drank that one beer just for them to fuck off because they already placed an opened one in front of my face. Then a beer turned into me having shots of vodka one after another at the family parties and for the first time in my entire life I felt relaxed! Then one day i had a blackout, then another started buying alcohol on a daily basis, my friend's family just said I'm more chill and just kept sharing whenever there was a bbq or anything else pouring me more. My friend knew that I have a tendency to catch addictions. Then i ended up at the worst point of my life- unable to quit, unable to work, unable to think, laying in my room with pissed pants and my girlfriend just told me if I won't quit she'll quit me because she can't stand looking at me turning into my dad. This is where i snapped and i regret it. I went to my friend's face and just wanted to talk but they showed me a video of myself quoting some show half conscious and then i started calling them insults, their family too. I told them many awful things and this is their fault why i even got addicted because i warned them multiple times

Now I lost my friend group because my best friend portrayed me as an aggressive alcoholic, I'm attending therapy and last week my girlfriend helped me find a job in a retail and we were able to rent a tiny ass apartment together but i still think i overreacted with the situation with my friend. This was 3 months ago, I'm 3 months alcohol free by the way but it's still bugging me

The reason why is I don't care how much pressure your friends and/or your friends family put on you, you are an adult who can make your own conscious decisions and choices. If your friend and/or his or her family is being that insistent that you drink even though you've made it abundantly clear that you don't want to, get a new friend. Plain and simple. That is not a friend. That is a very mild form of bullying and abuse. If you were stuck living there for some reason OK, stuff happens. But regardless then it becomes this person is not your friend, they are your temporary living situation until you can get out. A true friend would respect your right to make your own decisions. A true friend would not pressure you or make fun of you because you are trying to take care of your physical and mental health.

That being said, I would definitely say that, if everything you have said here is true, your friend definitely qualifies for a yes answer to this question. And possibly their family as well. Regardless though, even with that type of behavior, you are still ultimately responsible for the choices you make. It is also not this person's fault or their family's fault that you became addicted to alcohol. The disease of addiction has genetic roots, and what specific substance a person gets addicted to is kind of determined at random. Yes, if a person is addicted to one specific substance they are likely to be more susceptible to having addictions to other things. This is correct. But whether you have that genetic predisposition or not literally has nothing to do with your friend and their family. It's not even your own biological family's fault as I seriously doubt that very many parents think as they're about to conceive a child, "hey, I have the disease of addiction. I think I wanna pass this on to my offspring just to return the favor for whoever gave it to me." first of all a lot of conception happens unplanned, and for the conception that is planned, it is highly unlikely that any parent things like this. I'm not saying it's entirely impossible, but this type of thinking in parents would be incredibly rare.

Do parents who knowingly pass on genetic predispositions for addiction to their children bear a bit of the responsibility if their children become addicts? I still don't think so. Why? Because genetic predisposition or not, people are still responsible for their own choices. Just because something may be harder to choose or not choose, that doesn't automatically mean that anyone else is responsible for these choices other than the actual person making them. If they bear any responsibility, I would give them maybe 2% maximum.

Religious trauma is real, and stories about it absolutely have a place. But I’d love to see more stories where a character realizes the harmful version of Christianity they were taught isn’t the same as Christ.

Give me characters who deconstruct abuse instead of faith.

Give me characters who discover a deeper, kinder, more compassionate Christianity.

Give me doctors, teachers, farmers, artists, scientists, and ordinary people who see their work as their vocation.

Give me faith rooted in love instead of fear.

I had an idea for a tag game so here we go lol

For anyone on here that listens to Christian music, list 5 of your favorite Christian artists. Then tag others to see 5 of their favorites! I thought this would be a fun way to get some music recommendations 🎵 (also I’m making it poll so you guys can vote on your preferred artist, just for fun!)

No pressure tags:

@wisegirlandseaweedbrainforever @thatssewjesus @mysticqueen-bee @northernhealer @aurynne @sunflowerrosy @4thouglory @scaremoonturkey @caityrayeraye @kai-cheesecake @gravitilly @feistyredeemed @sparklingcurepeace @imjustanobody2024 + open tags as usual 😊

Edit: Madalyn Rae, sorry misspelled her name 😬

I didn't want to use any names from the previous polls

Obligatory mentions to The Oh Hellos, The Arcadian Wild, Twenty One Pilots, and Half-Alive, but they're not flat-out ""Christian"" bands, so I guess they don't belong in this poll.

Some of these were almost impossible to choose from. My answers and runners up will go in the tags. If I didn't mention an artist, it is likely I have not heard of them. I don't have an opinion on whether I like their music yet or not. The only exception to this rule is Jars of Clay. I have heard their music, and I enjoy it, however the band came out a few years ago and admitted that they are not Christian, that they only got into the Christian music scene because they knew they could make money on it. I can't listen to their music in good conscience after that. 



An increasing hatred for their own sin

A deeper love for the people of God

A greater desire to obey his commands