the soldier from TF2 says a lot of goofy stuff but honestly “if God had wanted you to live he would not have created me” is a pretty raw fucking line
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@saekas
the soldier from TF2 says a lot of goofy stuff but honestly “if God had wanted you to live he would not have created me” is a pretty raw fucking line

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Concept: a character designer who’s horny on main but only horny for his male characters and not his female characters
Female characters: *short fat woman, tall thin lanky woman, average height woman with muscles a lil chub, woman with a pear shaped body, old hunched over woman, non humanoid character*
Male characters: *buff half naked dude, buff half naked dude, buff half naked dude, buff half naked dude, buff half naked dude, buff half naked dude*
Heres the thing you gotta understand about statistics.
“Increases your chances by 80%” does not mean “there is now an 80% chance”.
If your chances were previously 10%, your chances are now 18%, not 90%.
if your chances were roughly 1%, they’re now just slightly less than 2%.
thats how that works.
Wow I don’t understand math at all
‘if you have a baby after 35, the chance of deformities goes up by 100%’ is a line I hear alot.
It goes up from .5% to 1%
To simplify: It’s the percent amount of the current factor.
In the starting example: 10% is the factor. 80% of 10 is 8, and then add together (increase by that): 10 + 8 = 18. Thus an 80% increase of 10% is 18%.
Similarly: 1% is the factor, it’s really the same as 10, just the decimal stepped over (10.0%, 1.00% // I know that isn’t really how numbers work, I’m just doing this for the visual). And thus, 80% of 1% then adding it on would be basically 1.8%
And finally, .5%. 100% of .5 is just that, ‘point 5′, or a half a percent. Two halves make a whole, and thus a single percent or ‘1%’.
Pretty easy to be honest… Though, it’s easy to get caught up in the statement and forget that, sometimes even when you know better.
Practical, every day use of maths: Not being dooped by dipshit marketing teams
i am not taking questions at this time
20 year old beginner: one year of learning flute and butterfly knife skillz :)
Fun fact: Adults actually learn those “You need to practice!” skills better than children do.
Kids tend to want to do literally anything aside from learning this skill my parent is forcing me to learn.
Adults actually can sit down and practice things for hours on end. Adults WANT to practice to get their skills better. Adults deliberately set aside time every day to practice. Even if it’s just 20 minutes, it’s productive growth and not wiggling in your chair mournfully watching birds out the window.
Anything from Drawing to Weaving to Violin to fuckin flipping bufferfly knives like a pro - choose a skill and LEARN, dammit! None of that ‘Children’s brains are more malleable’ bullshit. Brain squish is not the end-all of learning!
This is how you become a bard

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I need straight women to realize that they are 100% just as straight as straight men are, and that their opinions on homosexuality–including what it means to be a lesbian–are just as meaningless and inappropriate as straight men’s opinions are.
Are you saying every straight opinion on homosexuality is meaningless?
writing tip: don’t tell us your character’s backstory. don’t tell us what your character is thinking. don’t tell us what your character is doing. don’t tell us anything. the reader should simply look at a blank page and be suddenly overcome with emotion.
Good tip. I know a lot of writers who cry uncontrollably when they see a blank page, so I’m sure that feeling will translate directly to the reader.
if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo because i would easily win
all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight given that he’s like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit
legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener, merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the advantage of experience in whatever it is they’ve gotten up to/would possibly fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose that depends on if magic is involved. i don’t think i could take him without magic even if he IS old because he’s a very large guy, but maybe
it would be my knuckles against Frodo’s baby soft poet hands, plus i’ve got the additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn’t real so he can’t offer a rebuttal to my claim
you’re absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D:
this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very large feet, but i think he’s too polite to do that because it’s a fist fight and that would be considered playing dirty
for someone who doesn’t want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought into fighting Frodo……….
OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin.
First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won’t be fighting your conscience at the same time.
Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He’s no less gentry than Frodo is, but Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset. Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly beat one (1) troll, so that’s comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he’s not a fighter.
Also there’s a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the guilt of fighting Frodo isn’t enough if a curse by itself).
And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and he will wreck you (and you’ll deserve it, you monster)
Also: if you fight Frodo you’ll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on.
Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be killed by Boromir.
So here’s the thing - you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship, which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits. Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you’ll find yourself immediately fighting all four of them or else you’ll move to land your first hit and suddenly Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight train tbh.
So here’s what you do:
You fight Legolas.
The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a fight you’re gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition with Gimli, so once the challenge is issued, he’s not gonna let anyone else step in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he might also take his shirt off. Bonus!
Anyway.
Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he’s also already convinced you’re weaker than him anyway because you’re not an elf, so he’s gonna go kind of easy on you. And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here’s the key thing:
You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince.
That’s a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener, yeah?
okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you thank you all you are the true fellowship here.
@tolkien-in-beleriand
but why fight anyone in the fellowship if you can fight Denethor
Honestly if ever given the chance I would beat Denethor’s old man ass up and down the White Tower and I don’t care what Faramir and Boromir have to say about it THE OLD MAN HAS IT COMING
I love older science fiction where the author wants to make it known that he thinks homosexuality should be legal and accepted but doesn’t actually want to go so far as to openly depict gay characters… instead, he has his straight characters stand around and make asides to each other or the reader about how In The Exciting Spacefaring Future, Gay People Exist And We’re Okay With That, For The Record.
Not quite that, but that moment in the beginning of H2G2 where Dadams mentions that Ford Prefect learned drinking games from some mining dudes in which Ford would intentionally lose to get topped by the mining dudes
Oh yeah…
Janx Spirit - almost exclusively referred to as “That Old Janx Spirit” - is an extremely potent alcoholic beverage, and is used heavily in drinking games that are played in the hyperspace ports that serve the madranite mining belts in the star system of Orion Beta.
The game is not unlike the Earth game called Indian Wrestling, and is played like this:
Two contestants sit at either side of a table, with a glass in front of each of them
Between them would be placed a bottle of Janx Spirit.
Each of the two contestants would then concentrate their will on the bottle and attempt to tip it and pour spirit into the glass of his opponent - who would then have to drink it.
The bottle would then be refilled. The game would be played again. And again.
Once you started to lose you would probably keep losing, because one of the effects of Janx Spirit is to depress telepsychic power. As soon as a predetermined quantity had been consumed, the final loser would have to perform a forfeit, which was usually obscenely biological.
Ford Prefect usually played to lose.
Inchresting how so many people believe it’s the drug users who are inherently bad and not the society that so thoroughly denies so many of its people viable avenues to happiness that huge swaths of the population are driven to seek refuge in substances that artificially produce the feelings of contentedness they cannot find elsewhere in their lives….inchresting indeed
Also very very interesting that now that the Opiod epidemic is in richer, whiter neighborhoods, effecting their families and communities, policy makers are finally treating it like a matter of public health but when it was poor Black communities, they were allowed to rot and filled up jails.

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Italian falchion, early 17th century.
from Pierre Berge & Associes
Ornate Japanese katana crafted in 1866, presented to Czar Nicholas II during to his visit to Japan in 1891.
from The Hermitage Museum, St. Petersburg
I have been Thinking About The Thing I Have To Get Done for three fucking hours and I can’t get myself to do it
i wish i could be the person i want to be but im too tired

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The Knights 10