my mind hand touched a hot memory stove

Dogs serve as a kind of virtue eater for Americans to pour all of their kindness into without the risk of improving society or being nice to someone with any agency

purchased a sans undertale plush for my classroom and i've been torturing my students by pretending i don't know who he is

the look of pain on their faces when i tell them his name is sam is worth every dollar i spent on him

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

Steven Universe Heritage post

Using this as a spell to keep tumblr alive at least until this post is accurate

Guy who says “I’m contributing to traffic” instead of “I’m stuck in traffic”.

“what is the target audience of this post” what?????? does your diary have a target audience

all of their entries on the Bratz wiki (wikiz?) are so funny because they're like. they're characters that are designed to be interesting for young girls who like playing dress up with dolls but they're also supposed to represent the abstract concept of a Teenage Boy, whatever the hell that is, so all of their personalities are like "loves to flaunt the coolest clothes and flashiest shoes! has a huge collection of belts, gloves, and hats that he takes great pride in! also enjoys uuuuh monster trucks and death metal"