a soft saucy custard

"That's Ilya Rozanov," Yuna supplies, when the camera zooms in on one of the players. He looks unremarkable to Shane, the way all of the helmeted players in identical gear flying across the rink do. Another faceless white uniform on white ice. "He plays the same position as you."  "Forward," Shane says cautiously, trying not to phrase it like a question.  "Center," his mom corrects gently. She's so gentle with him, no matter how many mistakes he makes. It's the curdling sort of gentle that makes Shane want to rip off his own skin, and all he can do is endure it. He has no right to insist on not being treated gently. This woman is his mother, even though Shane, as he is now, is not really her son. 

hollanov, memory loss, mcdonalds

shane/ilya • e • oneshot • 9k • post-tlg • cw internalised homophobia, misogyny • shane pov

Shane tried to remember anything they’d ever said to each other on the subject and when they might have said it. Maybe an our kids won’t after a favour to the Pikes. A comment never actually articulated on seeing a rare baby photo of Ilya. In his head they had had this discussion at least once, and the conclusion was yeah, probably, later.

okay i've kinda been idly noodling on this for a couple weeks but then realized that the "hadn't gotten married yet" bit is what's crucial to this story

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It would be incorrect to say the photo had gone viral. It was only interesting because it was Shane. In the photo Shane was unsteady, clearly drunk, outside a club. The quality of the shot wasn't good enough for Ilya to make out the pink flush that must have been over his cheekbones, but his mouth was half open. The person coaxing him into the car had broad shoulders, his head turned away; there was only a glimpse of an ear, the rest unidentifiable.

No one would have called it incriminating. Shane Hollander, Metros captain, having a wild night out with the boys. The hockeysphere had mostly reacted with amusement. So Hollzy does know how to have fun. But Ilya looked at the stranger's fingertips pressed to the small of Shane's back and thought: this man is going to fuck him. There was no mistaking the intent. Ilya knew it with the certainty of a man who had been fucking Shane Hollander for ten years.

The thing was: it had been Shane who'd said, "You can."

Greg: came highly recommended by Jackie and Hayden; both shane & ilya think he's absolutely fucking ridiculous and make fun of him behind his back; he suggests sleeping in separate bedrooms, solo hikes, differentiated hobbies, and other bullshit shane and ilya absolutely aren't doing; the final straw is when greg, clearly misunderstanding the situation, suggests that one of them retires while looking directly at shane.

Cole: they go to one (1) therapy session with Cole where Cole recommends they separate to "find themselves"; shane floats suing him but ilya doubts they'd have a case so they never go through with it.

Richard: usually an independent therapist who works with athletes, but has taken on couples therapy before; things are going okay until richard asks if they have a prenup in place and thereby steps on a huge fucking landmine; shane and ilya have such an awful fight after this session that they break up with Richard via email and agree to never bring up the prenup again. (neither shane nor ilya wanted one, but shane caved to yuna's insistence, and the whole thing is the one (1) pressure valve they allow themselves for arguing about yuna's place in their marriage.) they also decide to stop seeing men because clearly something there isn't fucking working.

Julia: very sweet but so young it's jarring for both of them; LOTS of fan-girling over shane, which makes ilya jealous, which makes shane feel like maybe he wasn't doing enough to show his affection, which makes shane clingy, which triggers ilya's avoidant attachment, which makes ilya feel like shit, which makes ilya bring up julia more often because he was trying to do her homework, which makes shane briefly believe ilya is attracted to julia, which makes ilya furious because he would never cheat on shane. they fuck about it. ilya breaks up with julia over email, then shane has to send an apology email because ilya's email was... perhaps not the best.

Michelle: goes by chelle (which shane remembers by saying: like celly but chuh); specializes in couples therapy for couples who work high stress jobs / careers; the absolute GOAT; gives them permission to bring play into their relationship again through check-ins, conversation starters, challenges, and other relationship rebuilding and strengthening strategies; also wants them to practice independence but knows a bonded pair when she sees one and tempers her expectations accordingly; ilya gets really into home pickling and shane takes up jazzercise and chelle will take what she can get; she closes her private practice so they go their separate ways.

"and your mother?"

"dead."

Does the fandom have a headcanon about Shane shoulder scar???

I have not seen one myself! I’m sure there is definitely some out there.

I don’t even have a headcanon myself, if I think about it, it probably would be something like climbing a tree as a kid and falling and getting a good scratch up from a branch. But I’m sure there’s a sexier reason for some people lmao

insane allergic reaction to some kind of wound care product after totally routine lipsuction/shoulder surgery

thanks for stopping by and sharing this lovely comment!!

am i cooking atm? great question. i do have a WIP for this fandom languishing at a low simmer at the back of the stove, in which irina rozanova leaves her horrible husband and becomes a skating rink coach in 1990s suburban ottawa. (you can guess what happens from there, i think.)

this kind of policing is why ao3 was created

remember, kids, the three laws of fandom are:

- don’t like; don’t read

- your kink is not my kink