Wow, a shitty blog

good morning queens, what seven posts are we all reblogging today

what the doctor hears when he puts the stethoscope up to my chest

I don’t care who santa thinks he is.  if he flies over u.s. air space without a documented flight plan and sufficient clearance he WILL BE SHOT DOWN.

target audience of less than ten individuals

My target audience is me and even that bastard is impossible to please

ohhh my god i need enrichment soooo baddddd....... someone PLEASE throw something strange and new into my enclosure!!!!!

thrift stores need to become untrendy again. rich people should feel like they dont wanna be seen there like it used to be

my toxic trait is going through character tags on social media and just going “no. thats not what he looks like. he wouldnt say that. thats wrong. thats in character but not funny. thats wrong. i hate you.”

I Contain Multitudes And They Are All Incredibly Annoying

i hope they start dropping new soups in 2021

don’t drop any soups you’ll spill em

drop them straight into my mouth

tag your superbowl spoilers

Tom Brady dies

i’m imploring you bro!! dude i fucking beseech thee!!!