hey......nice ox cart we're having today....... 🌈

I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.

I know people wanted the post credit scene for the DnD movie to be the actors playing the game, but I think it would have been infinitely funnier if it was instead the characters at a table trying desperately to figure out the date for their next heist. Next weekend? No, there's a festival. Tuesday. No, have a tournament. Any time in the next month??? Nope, there's some noble that half the group already agreed to go rough up, they'll be out of town. Oh hey a letter from Xenk, he can come on Thursdays. Are you penpals with Xenk?! Don't worry about it.

its gonna be so nuts when our generation of old people is shuffling around with big stupid meme tattoos imagine being a personal support specialist in 2080 and peepaw has a bee movie script sleeve and youre twenty years old and delivering pills like dude what is that and he goes Its from a movie about a jerry seinfeld bug lusting after a human woman who looks like flo from progessive who is still a prominent american cultural figure and you say OK and then you help him plug into his VR headset to play for2nite the sequel to fortnite and he mains former president hunter biden and then you go on lunch break and pay $75 for a ham and cheese sandwich

It is so fucking funny to me how easily scandalized some people are wym callout post for a cannibalism kink. Grow up. This is the nothingburger leagues and you're throwing up in the stands

It’s actually the peopleburger leagues

Blocking for being funnier than me

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

sources say there are muscles in the back of my neck. and they want to kill me

forever thinking about that girl at my uni orientation who, after being told to pour out her water bottle before entering an event, looked at me and said "they tell us to stay hydrated and then make us pour out our water, this is like totally kafkaesque" and then poured out what was very obviously an entire water bottle full of whiskey. hope she's doing well.