bring back my boing

door-to-door pest control salesman comes to my door and is like “hey i was in the neighborhood and just noticed you’ve got… ants out here in your yard” like yeah that’s where they live? of course they’re gonna be out there

when you start a job and suddenly it becomes clear as to why they have a stay-on bonus

interest and late fees will really have you thinking it’s over for you and your credit score. then you pay them and it’s less like that

did we ever learn what the ORC BOYAR’s favorite dance was

yeah i’ve got roid rage… rage because my roids won’t actually get rid of my damn eczema

would joining a gym fix me? probably not, but it does feel like a good use of money at least

FINALLY A NEW FUCKING JOB

i gotta say, paralives live mode gameplay is overwhelming to me, but build mode? absolute chef’s kiss. i love everything about it so far. half-width walls are a game changer as is being able to resize items. no i have not figured out how to change foundation height yet but i’ll probably get there

i hate being too afraid to pirate shit. i wanna watch anime that aren’t on streaming services dude

istg people are only coming to the cape these days to get their crowns to fall out or something, why did my office get like 20 calls in the span of an hour this morning all from tourists whose crowns fell out

i have an interview on thursday and the thing i’m most anxious about is the fit. not even the questions or anything just making sure i look “professional”

the world is in turmoil, and people are in pain… even still, we can take comfort in knowing there is bucket of wet slop. grins.