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I've been meaning to make a post talking about my stroke because y'all got bits and pieces of the recovery but I never actually told the story of HOW it went down and the thing is the type of stroke I had is usually the type young people have and since having mine i've now heard multiple stories of people under 40 having very similar strokes and the scary thing is, is that they didn't get help right away. Because you're young and healthy and sure you feel weird but it'll pass right? but it doesn't, and it gets worse, and by the time you get to the hospital (some people literally take days to go) the deficits are worse and recovery is harder.
so here's a super long post about strokes in general, and mine in particular/what I went through.
So for strokes the signs are abbreviated BE FAST. Balance loss, Eyesight changes, Face drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulty, -> Time to call 911.
Had I known those MAYBE I would have figured it out but my symptoms were a little mixed. I was reading (fanfic!) in bed because it was a sunday morning and i had nothing pressing to do and suddenly got dizzy. I put my laptop aside because my eyes were blurring (Eyesight changes - symptom #1), and laid down, thinking it would pass, it didn't, it's a little vague how it progressed because I'd been having headaches and neckpain for about 3 weeks leading up to it so I was like 'idk is this a migraine?' (headaches can be a stroke symptom so symptom #2) but i got nauseous and eventually got up and to my utmost surprise I immediately fell over as if I was the drunkest of frat bros. The room literally spun before my eyes as I fell to the floor (Balance loss - symptom #3). I have had some Nights and I had never been that unsteady before. I crawled my way to the bathroom, threw up (nausea - not a common stroke symptom) , took 800mg of ibuprofen, and crawled back to bed.
if you know anything about ibuprofen you might know it's a mild blood thinner and that's a high dose. I may have inadvertently helped myself with that one. I was just feeling like shit and thinking 'idk this might help'
At this point I still thought we were still in Normal Land. Sure, it was a weird morning, but Surely There Was A Reason. (Yes There Was) Anyway, as I'm lying there willing my body to stop suffering I realize my arm is going numb (stroke symptom #4) and I switch positions, because weird, but it doesn't go away, and I gave it a good little while. I'm on a medication that can make my limbs tingle but it usually just does it to my fingers and it dissipates quickly but this wasn't dissipating, and then I realized one of my legs was also going numb. Then one side of my face is going numb.
(at the time I did not look in the mirror but I had a drooping eyelid - symptom #5)
Those all seem bad. I grab my computer and google 'when to go to the hospital for dizzyness' as that felt like the worst of my problems. and indeed the list I found highlighted that if you are also experiencing loss of balance, blurred vision, nausea, and limb numbness, you should see a doctor. That seems like far too many symptoms to be having all to be listed. I grab my phone (thankfully plugged in and by my bed), and start layering on more clothing because it's about 10 degrees out and i'm in a pajama dress. The very nice man at 911 talks with me and sends an ambulance, I tell him I don't think I can get out the front door of my building on my own and he asks if I can get to MY apartment door to which I say yes and he assures me that's fine they will have keys to my building.
(I have been since informed they love to chop down doors but no, I could get that far)
I wait by my door laying down on the ground and they arrive pretty quickly. They see to me in the hallway, which is more of a lobby in my building and the only place with room for me to lie down (I cannot stand unassisted at this point) they ask me a bunch of questions, take vitals, and ask me where I would like to be taken. Me, having never had to go to the fucking hospital in an emergency before, simply go 'wherever is close' because I again, I am having a stroke and do not have the wherewithal to think through these things.
A big firefighter helps me down the stairs (it's only a half flight and I still almost did not make it) and we get underway.
At the hospital they wheel me into triage and I mostly lie there gratefully and answer some questions and respond to some tests (grip strength, following a pen with my eyes, that sort of thing) and then I hear what is great when you've been at urgent care for two hours but what is Very Bad when you just arrived in an ambulance and that's 'She's next'. I jumped the line for a CT scan and an MRI. I was there less than ten minutes before I was actively being scanned. honestly closer to five.
my active symptoms seem to have been worse than some of the stories I've heard, not being able to walk AT ALL in particular, although some other are pretty equal (Footless Jo on youtube had a stroke around the same time I did of the same type and has discussed hers, she delayed going in despite the severity for a variety of reasons and it sounds like her recovery has been difficult) My recovery was pretty easy because i was actively being cared for and on blood thinners right away. My stroke was caused by an vertebral arterial tear, aka the inner part of an artery tore which can cause a clot. This tends to be the type of stroke young people have although I'm sure it's possible to have a different type.
I was pretty out of it in the beginning, but I was only in the hospital for 6 days and then in a rehab for another 4 to relearn how to walk and balance, then i was released unto the world and just spent time going to physical therapy and recovering for awhile. I was out of work for about 8 weeks total. I basically had the best outcome for a stroke. I recovered almost fully back to 100% (I'm about 2% less sure footed than I used to be, but it's rarely noticeable), my face still feels a little weird but has markedly improved so I live in hope it will eventually get back to normal. It massively sucked. But strokes can fuck you up for life and I came out a weird medical story to tell and have to take some extra medication now/precautions to take (i cannot do certain types of yoga, no weightlifting, no push ups, no going on rollercoasters.... things that could strain my neck essentially) but overall I escaped very lucky.
I feel as though what drives most rude / inconsiderate behavior I experience IRL on a day to day basis comes from a place of having this unearned and unnecessary sense of urgency in situations that aren't actually urgent. I think if more people became aware of this completely unnecessary sense of urgency in situations that actually aren't urgent, it might make co-existing and sharing public spaces with other people a lot easier and more tolerable.
That text post that's been making the rounds that goes something like "Omg you made it to the same red light as everyone else but faster and more dangerously and recklessly, should we call nascar? Do you want a medal?" summarizes exactly what I'm trying to talk about.
It's like when I have to change buses at one of the bigger and busier bus stops, and the people who get off the same bus as me shove and elbow past me to get off before me, and then shove and elbow past anyone even slightly in their way on the way to the bus they're switching to, only to end up on the same bus as all the people they shoved and elbowed, with several minutes to spare before it leaves and plenty of open seats left.
I think this unnecessary urgency a lot of people feel in their day to day lives drives a lot of bad behavior. I'm not saying I'm innocent of this (is anyone's?), I've felt it too in plenty of situations that didn't call for it, and regrettably was less kind than I should have been as a result. But I try to be aware of it, and always try to ask myself it it's really as urgent as my lizard brain is trying to tell me it is, and even if it was urgent, does that still justify unkind behavior?
Is shoving or elbowing another person aside going to make the difference between whether or not you make it to the bus before it pulls away? (hint: at least where I live, most of the time that's a no because the drivers usually won't leave if they see people from another bus heading towards their bus). Is shoving and elbowing people aside in a crowded grocery store going to make any real difference in how quickly you get your shopping done?
Does a few extra seconds of time actually justify cruel and unkind behavior towards people you perceive as slightly inconveniencing you?
- Waiting in line at the store and the person behind you creeps closer and closer to try to pressure you forward, and ends up violating your personal space and making you uncomfortable, because they think creeping closer and pressuring the person in line in front of them will somehow get them through the line faster (it won't)
- Going through a self-serve buffet, and the person behind you keeps creeping closer and closer to try to pressure you to serve your food faster and get a move on. All it achieves is that you can't scoop your soup without elbowing them, and that's somehow your fault
- Crossing a crosswalk when the car waiting for you to cross creeps closer and closer to you to try to intimidate you into crossing faster (because using a 2 ton metal machine to try to intimidate a fleshy little ape you could easily kill with said 2 ton metal machine isn't acting like a bully at all no sir-ee)
- Honestly a huge heap of the poor treatment of service workers is also rooted in this sense of urgency in things that are not actually urgent
Please do feel free to add more examples if you can think of more examples
#cutting in line at the airport#you are all going on the same flight!
Not just getting on the same flight, but the majority of the time already having assigned seats! The plane isn't going to just pull away while passengers are still boarding, your seat will still be your seat, why the urgency?
People have always been like this in airports, and maybe I'm just noticing it more, but I feel like in the past few years this sense of urgency in airports has gotten worse. I get some people might be running late for their flight due to extenuating circumstances, but that doesn't excuse being rude. It's not fair to punish random strangers at the airport if you're running late for your flight. That's your problem, not theirs.
If it's really urgent and genuinely extenuating circumstances, then use your words ("I'm so sorry but I had a family emergency this morning so now I'm running really late for my flight, do you mind if I go ahead of you?") rather than push / shove / elbow / cut in line / violate other people's person space.
The past several times I've flown I almost had a panic attack going through security because of how much other passengers kept violating my personal space by standing too close (to try to pressure me forward), even though that wouldn't make the line go faster + were getting pushy / shove-y / elbow-y with trying to get their stuff on and off the x-ray belt. Is there really any reason that's called for? We're all just trying to get through and get to our flights, You Are Not The Main Character of Airport Security.
#I think that living I. the United States just drives people insane#legitimately#the societal pressure you feel just makes you batshit#it made me for sure
I have bad news for you (or maybe good news depending on how you look at it) but this is far from a U.S. specific issue. I'm actually in Iceland, so almost all of the experiences I wrote about in this post happened in Iceland. I've visited and lived in a few different countries, and I have a hard time recalling a country I didn't witness this phenomenon. It's the era of instant gratification in many places around the world, and it shows.
My only experience with Germany is a weekend spent in Berlin, but that weekend was stressful because I experienced so much of this in Berlin.
I can recall more than once having to stop and look around because I'd lost sight of my partner, and despite having *several meters* to go around me people would still walk right into me while glaring at me.
I made another post about "body checking" (this exact phenomenon of intentionally walking right into someone as a form of aggression) and someone in the notes also said this kept happening to them in Berlin, they'd stop for just a second to look at their map, and despite having plenty of room to go around people several heads taller than them would aggressively walk right into them and/or clip them.
I can't speak for all of Germany, it's a very large and diverse country after all, but at least Berlin seems to have a problem with aggressive impatience to the point of physically battering strangers who dare to stand still for a second in public spaces.
Someone I loved with all my heart said one day while driving on the crammed freeway, “I like to let people over - it’s a mini way of making their day better.” And I, a naturally “lead foot” too speedy for her own good, needlessly chaotic at the time driver, absorbed this into my being and to this day enjoy the simple act of letting people merge- oh hey human, I see you, we all gotta get places. <3
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Western or Arfak Parotia (Parotia sefilata), family Paradisaeidae, order Passeriformes, found only in the mountain forests of Vogelkop and the Wandammen Peninsula of Western New Guinea
ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.
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its really unfortunate that padme no longer used the body double approach to security after aotc because the concept of the queen of fakeout deaths being married to the guy who loses his shit at the thought of her dying is honestly the wildest fucking thing and i think it's underutilised. let's give anakin a few trial runs before his big breakdown ok. maybe seeing padme getting assassinated live on space tv on a monthly basis will let him microdose on acceptance and inner peace. he can get into a different stage of grief each time and maybe when rots rolls around he will be fine
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prguitarman
