Hello : )

“One more thing, sir. You told me you couldn’t possibly have been at the crime scene at that time on account of your alibi, that being that you were at home playing your PlayStation 3. Now, forgive me, but if that’s true, I just gotta ask– how could you have been playing your PS3 if the PS3 has no games?”

“Why, Lieutenant, the PS3 is backwards compatible with many PS2 games. I was simply playing one of my many PS2 games at the time of the murder. Surely you are at least familiar with Kingdom Hearts? I’d be happy to show you my save file if it would put your mind at ease.”

“Ah, gee. Kingdom Hearts… Yeah, that one’s a classic. one of the best ones, even. My wife loves that little Sora guy. No, I agree. You’re right, sir. I should’a thought of that. Well, I’ll get outta your hair, then. — Oh, one more thing…

“Oh… yes, how very… observant of you, Lieutenant. Well, I… suppose I must have been mistaken. My memory of that dreadful night - it’s all jumbled, you see. It must have been one of my other games from my PS1 library. Spyro, perhaps. Or– yes, now I remember. It was Final Fantasy 7 - the character of Cloud is in both that game and in Kingdom Hearts. I must have simply gotten my wires crossed. How silly of me.”

“All right, then. That explains it. Well, have a good night, then.  … Oh, uh… I figure I oughta let you know … we did have your memory card searched. We didn’t see Final Fantasy VII on there. Must’ve been a glitch or something. Might wanna get that checked.”

“Now, see here, Columbo, perhaps if you were spending more time looking for actual clues, rather than harping on my gaming habits, you might have caught the real killer by now!

“Certainly, sir, I’ll be outta your way now. Oh, – gee. Gosh, I nearly forgot. I figured I’d mention. We did get one lead. On the murder, sir.

me: *trying to take my socks off but they keep getting stuck on my heel* oh fuck. goddamnit.

cancelling her entire comic after a single issue because she ‘rip bozo’-posted online like hundreds of other people were doing… while still publishing comics from notorious racist frank ‘i want muslims to die’ miller…. and paying and promoting actual former cia agent tom king…. and the irony isn’t lost on me either that she was writing a Red Hood comic, yknow, about the character whose entire deal is he kills villains.

i do not fucking care if she wasn’t writing what you wanted out of a comic book. they are going scorched earth on her entire comic, pulling issues that were put out to be sold YESTERDAY.

Twitter: as a child you identified with curious George because he was a stand in for children like you, but as an adult you want to fuck the man in the yellow hat