keep good company

Monkey Like Me Wears Tank Topps And I Dont Even Cry When I Get Sunsburn On My Shoulders

And I Dont Even Get Fustrated And Stomp My Feet At The Pool During Adult Swimm

And When I Drop My Pastrys In The Pool I Dont Get My P****** In A Wodd

I Wont Even Jump In The Pool To Get Them Becose Im Polite

I Wont Even Swim To The Bottom And Grab Them All And Stuffs Them In My Cheecks

Im On My Best Pehavior

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to clear things up because some of you clearly cannot fucking read: i am a homosexual man who is willing to go back in time and put my entire penis inside of historical figure Leonardo Da Vinci’s rectum in an act of anal sex and then go on to live a lavish and intellectually stimulating lifestyle as his beloved top. i don’t know what a video game is and i don’t care.

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

Let’s all take a moment and thank biology that our internal organs don’t itch.

Fun fact: digestion is actually really painful but your brain just tells you it’s fine the same way it tells you not to bite off your fingure even though you can

that’s… frustrating

Hey quick question why the FUCK doesn’t it do that for menstrual cramps

Brain angery that you’re not pregnant

it worked

oh MY GOD

British people be saying “I fink” and “me neifer”

im not bovered

ello yewchube

he’s listening

Reblog and the universe will grant you the spoons you need to do that thing you’ve been meaning to do

yon originale pofter if an æphobe