No Rules, Just Right: Outback Shame House

Some of the men yall tag as dilfs are SHAMEFUL. I was looking for dilf memes (it is not important why) and all I see is a parade of rosy-cheeked unblemished dandy men. Slapping a beard on a 26 year old in a suit is not a dilf, you are besmirching the title. There is a recipe, a Dilf Recipe. You do not need all these ingredients but you must have AT LEAST three: a child/ward/apprentice of some sort, crows feet, laugh lines/frown lines, sun damage, gray hairs, dark circles, Depression, intriguing battle scars/injuries/missing limb, Divorced, body hair, a look in the eyes that screams for A Moment of Relief, etc etc. Like the bar is low. Ben Barnes is not a Dilf. Harry Styles with 5 o’clock shadow is not a dilf. TIMMY CHARDONNAY IS NOT A DILF. You are all WEAK your blood is WEAK put that man BACK IN THE OVEN UNTIL HES DONE THESE DUDES ARENT AL DENTE THEY ARE CRUNCHY AND DUNKED IN WATER PUT THEM BACK LET THEM COOK

given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that

today’s date is the 3rd? what’s next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift? 

“source?” the mold in my water bottle told me

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

can't believe we've all been here since we were 14 and now we're all 20000 years old

hmm... *gets in evil bed and holds my evil stuffed animal* evil night.. *turns off my fucked up evil lamp*

8 hours of decent sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a beautiful horse and i will never die'

2 hours of bad sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a stranded whale and i need to be covered in dynamite in an ill-advised attempt to clear the beach'

my liege we your council would not advise this course of action but we all agree it would be pretty funny regardless

When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M

He said “Son (M7) when you grow up (F33) would you be — wait what”

dawg i literally dont want the world to see me cuz i dont honestly think they'd understand