the random factor

local public library fandom

shawty's like a malady in my head

it's really embarrassing how much self control i have to exert when you put me in front of a tray of convenient and tender meat like if you put meatballs in front if me the fuckers are gone in milliseconds. same true of roadted brussels sprouts or basically anything that's a nice little dense and textured morsel. i am the hors that d'ouvres

do not stand at my plate and snack. that shit's all mine. please give it back. i am the dozen hors that d'ouvre. i am the meatball's gentle curve. i am the cracker's butter crunch. i am a thousand grapes for lunch.

i like when you're petting an animal on the head and then remove your hand and then the animal puts their snout under your hand and flips your hand back onto the top of their head like they're a spatula with a burger patty. so far i have evidence that cats do this and that dogs do this. what else can i learn about this world...?

never "look inside" yourself btw i just tried it and there was already someone in there looking back it was so awkward