pressed flowers

when a browser loses old tabs and it's what the fuck those were heirlooms

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

Showed this to my partner and they just go “this is how I see you”

Its butch appreciation day appreciate ur local butch <3

my kitty cat was wandering around going ‘mrrph?” so i was like “in here!” he goes “mrrph!” shoves open my bedroom door with his big round head and FLOPS on me. as in hard enough that he made a little “oof” noise when he did it. followed by a category five purring event. there’s good in this world mr frodo etc

Gambling is a method of using intelligence and intuition to manifest wealth

i just wanna hear the story now. do you need me to manufacture some discourse that fits?

I mean there's very little to the story beyond a good old-fashioned "you can be a citizen if you get married," with the twist that the only person she knew who made it to America was a cousin. We all needed to get the hell out of eastern europe real fast, and a girl's gotta do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This was a good midnight-thirty post. I'm good and posting and I'm glad I posted this.

Ur life is literally chaos- and I am so here for it

I showed them to my mom once and she pointed at the kitten and said “petty theft” and pointed to the big cat and said “grand larceny”

let’s burgle with mama