Rumpus™

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

i bring a sort of “you fundamentally misunderstand the root causes of the things you claim to be against and thereby enable and perpetuate them through your very attempts at fighting them” vibe that people with politics rooted in their emotional reactions to things seem to. really not like.

the irredeemable pervert is generally well regarded among their friends for their insightful thoughts and all around pleasant demeanour

can we hurry up and make it legal to have boobs out in public it's been too hot outside lately

I can’t be topless in public even if it’s legal cause some scandalized puritan is gonna put me on tiktok

Dude benson's gonna give us a big hug and tell us he's proud of us when he sees this

It probably is kind of fun to be a parent bird and find big fat bugs to put in your child’s goalpost mouth. And the more you do it the larger your baby gets, which shows your progress. Mine is reaally big, think I’m going to get a high score this time. It has a unique skin too, I’ve never even seen this one before. Has anyone gotten that one, dark brown and white belly with stripes? It’s not even in my Wrenpedia, it has to be a really special unlock

I’d appreciate if you didn’t call my child a “parasite”, thank you very much! Typical r/childfree

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell