#1 Pathetic Men Fan

I’m rumpletrumple but I prefer to be called Rumple! I’m a 20 year old writer who is constantly brainrotting over something !!!

———————————————————————

In honour of pride month coming to an end, I thought I’d share my headcanons of the team’s identities!

Bucky Barnes — Bisexual

I mean Bucky is like… the original bisexual™ Whatever went on with him and Steve, and now him and Sam… there’s nothing straight happening there. And obviously he does have attraction to women, he’s flirted with women in both the 40s and modern times, dated women, etc. I don't think he would have much of a preference/more of an attraction to one or the other, but I do think he'd still have some form of internalized discomfort around his attraction to men because of the era he's from. I do, however, think it's lessened as he's adjusted to the modern era : ) (And also because he is actively in love with Sam)

Yelena Belova — Aromantic/Asexual + Lesbian

I genuinely cannot picture Yelena ever being attracted to a man she is like. THE girl kisser. But yeah in the comics she’s heavily coded to be aroace, which I think is where I drew a lot of inspiration for this hc from : ) I imagine she is closer to the little attraction rather than no attraction on the ace spectrum, and if she were to be attracted to someone it would not be a man. Also I hc her and Bob are in a QPR 😼

Bob Reynolds — Unlabelled

I don’t know why but unlabelled Bob has always held a special place in my heart. I don't have much of an explanation for it other than it just seems right to me :) Like I feel if someone asked him about his sexuality he would just. shrug. I def think Bob has been with both men and women in the past, however, none of those relationships were particularly healthy or lasted long.

Ava Starr — Bisexual

Ava being a lesbian is a popular hc in the fandom and I fuck with it a lot! I've always seen her as bi but with like... a very heavy preference/attraction towards women. I think she should get a girlfriend in doomsday. Russo brothers let her kiss girls. Let her kiss YELE— *gets shot*

John Walker — Bisexual

Oh John Walker... you incredibly repressed bisexual man... I think that growing up with conservative, Christian parents in a predominantly conservative American state, as well as having early relationship with Olivia, would have led John to repress his sexuality up until the Thunderbolts. There were probably a couple instances in his life where he kind of had a brief bisexual panic, but then decided it'd be better to ignore it and pretend it never happened in the first place. Who knows, maybe now that he isn't busy working jobs for Val, or the military, and has a safe space and support system... he'll become more comfortable with that part of himself...

Alexei Shostakov — Straight (Ally)

I'm a firm believer of straight Alexei who is an ally but in a very uncomfortable, corporate allyship way. Like he'll support his daughter and his teammates, but then offer to be their wingman which... trust me, nobody wants. Or if someone is sharing a story regarding their sexuality, he'll try to relate by oversharing old war stories of cold winters and warm bodies. But nonetheless, he'll be supportive and very loud about it.

+ Sam Wilson — Gay

I promise this isn’t the freaky version

Ava Starr

A headcanon of mine is that Ava’s room has many candles, incense, and plants to promote a comfortable environment where she can relax and unwind :) So I think those scents, esp the jasmine and lavender would cling to her!

John Walker

While I don’t imagine John to be much of a drinker (mainly because he can’t get drunk) I’ve always imagined him as having some kind of whisky/wood scented cologne : ) So I threw that in there alongside the gun smoke and metallic notes from his firearms and shield!

Alexei Shostakov

Alexei reeks I’m sorry

The mayo would’ve been ranch if Fragrantica had it

Yelena Belova

I took some inspiration from Florence Pugh’s go-to perfume Coco Chanel and added notes of white musk, grapefruit, and floral scents! And obv vodka’s there

Bob Reynolds

Now originally I was gonna put shampoo instead of soap but Fragrantica didn’t have it :[ I just think he’d have a faint head and shoulders smell or something 😭 l also think he’d have a kind of sweet, faintly citrusy scent??? Maybe it’s cause he’s from Florida

Also the sweat is because he runs hot

Bucky Barnes

Since I’m a big letterboxd fanatic and an even bigger Thunderbolts fan I decided to mock up some top 4 movies for the team :)) I would like to preface this by saying I haven’t seen half the movies here and this is definitely not accurate in the least

John Walker

John def gives me dad movie vibes so I stuck to 80s movies I think he would’ve liked growing up! Top Gun was always the #1 choice since I think he and Lemar would’ve liked it a lot when they were teens. Predator I changed out last minute from Terminator, mainly because of it’s focus on the military/a war setting :)

Ava Starr

Ava just gives me weird girl movies vibes so I decided to stick with more Gothic genres, esp Del Toro and Burton 😼 I also just think she would like vampires a lot

Alexei Shostakov

I genuinely don’t even have an explanation I just think he’d like Despicable Me a lot because of it’s central themes with fatherhood. I also just googled early soviet propaganda films cause of his tendency to live in the past/rewatch old films of “the good days” 😭 Realistically he would have a Red Guardian documentary (if it existed) in place of Lego Batman, but alas it doesn’t exist in our universe 😔

Bucky Barnes

Ok here’s where we get into the less accurate territory because I don’t know Bucky Barnes and I don’t know 40s films 😔 But obv he’s a huge nerd so Lord of the Rings and Star Wars had to make the list!

Yelena Belova

Okay so obviously Snow White is the outlier here but I promise there’s a good reason because during my deep dive into the Red Room lore I discovered that Snow White was shown to the girls to psychologically mold and brainwash them. So obv not a good experience but it’s one of the few movies I imagine Yelena was shown during her time there, so she might have some kind of attachment or find some comfort in it :) also Kill Bill and Atomic Blonde are about blonde women assassinating people so she might find them relatable LOL

Bob Reynolds

Oh my God I struggled so hard with Bob 😭 The only one I was SURE about is Ratatouille and I don’t even have an explanation for why it’s there. I tried to base some of his choices off of Lewis Pullman’s taste, as well as what movies were popular in the early 2000s or are popular with millennial men.

+ Bonus Sam Wilson

Not Alone Anymore by RumpleTrumple

Summary:

Whenever John is injured during missions, it always goes the same way when he gets back. The team expresses concern and offers to help. He says he's fine and limps off to the medbay without another word. If they persist and try to help, he pushes them away and snaps at them until they leave.

But Bob hadn't tried yet. And Bob wanted to help.

Pairing: Robert “Bob” Reynolds/John Walker (Marvel)

Rating: Teen