im mentioning this with totally normal and reasonable enthusiasm (/lying)

hiiii anon from 3 months ago so like here's the thing i was talking to my amazing friend / hype man @/absolutelynothoughtswhatsoever about bob getting obliterated and then i was thinking about this ask and idk if this quite reads as "damage a regular person" sex but i had this ask in mind the entire time writing so trust that was my intention. anyway this is long and sloppy because i really just wrote it for myself i wasn't originally planning to share it w anyone but since i used this ask as inspo i figured i should say thank u :P <3

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“Sometimes I wish I never kissed you.”

Bob regretted his words the second they left his mouth, but he didn’t take them back. He squeezed his hands into tight fists, jaw quivering with pent up emotion. John only stared at him, the zipper on his suit still half undone.

“Right,” John started, sarcasm already dripping from his words. “That’s why you came to my room to beg me for sex the second I got home.”

“Fuck you.” That hurt. John knew about Bob’s struggles with hypersexuality; he knew how embarrassed he was about his history as a slut; and he still said that like it wouldn’t stab Bob directly in the heart. “I didn’t come here for sex, I came to ask why you didn’t answer a single one of my texts the entire week you were gone. But if that’s how you’re going to treat me then I guess the answer is that you don’t fucking care.”

“You think I don’t care?” He threw his belt on the floor hard enough to make Bob flinch. John took a deep, trembling breath and stepped toward Bob, closing the distance between them. “You think I didn’t answer you because I don’t fucking care?”

“That’s what it seems like.”

“You’re wrong.” John kept moving forward as he spoke, continuously closing whatever distance Bob put between them as he stepped backward. “I didn’t answer your messages because I care too much. I muted your texts because I thought about you so much that I couldn’t fucking focus. I had to focus on the mission and if I saw your little picture on my phone in the morning, all I could think about for the rest of the day was you.”

Bob inhaled sharply when his back hit the wall. John kept moving until he was close enough that Bob could feel the warmth of his breath. For some reason, Bob still couldn’t believe it was true. “You weren’t thinking about me.”

“The only thing I ever think about is you.”

then one day john is walking past bob's room when he hears coughing. he knocks on the door to ask if bob is okay and what he hears is a soft sound of pain. concerned, he goes inside to find bob is curled against the wall in his en suite, all the lights off. he's covering his ears, his eyes are shut tight, his is face pale, and tears are streaming down his cheeks.

normally, bob wouldn't say anything. he didn't want anyone to know about his migraines. but he's in so much pain that he just doesn't have it in him to fight. john asks what's going on and bob mumbles enough to explain that it's a migraine, that he's having really bad vertigo, that he needs john to be quiet because every little sound is like searing pain.

It really wasn’t fair how beautiful Bob looked.

John was supposed to get out of bed. He was supposed to get up and brush his teeth and go for a run; instead, he curled up against Bob’s back, admired, his messy curls, and gently stroked his overnight stubble with the backs of his knuckles.

Who would condemn him if he decided to skip his workout anyway? He was almost forty. He ran enough on missions. John nuzzled into Bob’s neck, kissed that sensitive skin right behind his ear, and hugged him close. Bob stirred but didn’t wake, naturally sinking into John’s embrace as he snored softly.

They stayed like that for a while. Maybe an hour or so, John wasn’t sure. He kept drifting in and out of sleep and he couldn’t see the clock on the table behind him. Not that it mattered what time it was. Nothing mattered except him and Bob and—

Bob’s Zyns, apparently.

He reached his arm out without even opening his eyes. John jolted from his own light sleep when Bob dropped his hand on the bedside table, his whole body shifting as he dragged it side to side. Bob finally settled down when he found the container he was after. He leaned back into John, fingers clumsily searching for where the lid popped open.

“Hey, baby.” John kissed the edge of Bob’s face and took the container from him. For some reason, Bob took that to mean John was going to hand him a pouch. He held his palm open, ready for John to set the Zyn inside of it. John kissed him again instead. “Nicotine is not a good way to start your morning.”

“Nicotine is the best way to start my morning,” Bob argued. He pushed the heel of his palm over his eyes and yawned, his back pressing into John’s chest. Once again, he looked way too pretty as he tucked his hair behind his ear, an amused little smile on his face. “Well, that, or…”

“Or…?”

“Dick.” The answer was so blunt John had to hide his snort in Bob’s neck. Thankfully, Bob only smiled wider at the embarrassing sound and lowered his hand to his belly to play with John’s fingers. “I can feel your morning wood pressing against my ass.”

Oh. John flushed warm pink from his shoulders to his cheeks. “It’s your fault for falling asleep in my bed in those panties.”

“For the last time, they’re not panties, they’re briefs.”

Bikini briefs; which, per John’s close observation of Bob’s cute ass, were very different from typical full-coverage briefs. He hummed in dismissive agreement and set the Zyns on his dresser behind him before slipping his fingertips into Bob’s waistband. Bob wouldn’t have brought up dick if he didn’t really want it.

There was a bottle of lube in a drawer within arm’s distance of John but he chose to quickly lift his fingers to Bob’s mouth instead. John had always thought most bodily fluids were disgusting but something about the way Bob sucked on his fingers changed his mind about saliva. He left them in there longer than he needed to, feeling the way Bob’s tongue swirled around his fingers, savoring the warmth and the perfect line of his teeth.

“Two,” Bob mumbled when he released, a thin line of spit still connecting him to John’s fingertips.

“When you’re ready,” John replied, because any kink that left Bob in pain wasn’t a kink John wanted any part in.

Despite Bob’s request, he pushed only his middle finger in first, the digit sliding easily into Bob’s tight hole. John’s left hand wrapped around Bob’s torso, hand squeezing just below his ribs. Bob let out a low exhale and John kissed the back of his shoulder. He bent his knuckle, fingertip curling toward Bob’s prostate.

A smirk broke on his face when Bob turned his face into the pillow to muffle his moan. “Guess I didn’t need two fingers after all.”

“Asshole,” Bob mumbled. John kissed his neck as he pulled his finger out and gave Bob’s ass cheek a playful squeeze. Bob’s little whine expressed his disappointment before his words. “Why did you stop?”

John gave Bob’s jaw a teasing lick and hooked his fingers into Bob’s waistband. “Need these off. Your shirt, too.”

Bob bent his knees up toward his chest so John could easily slide them down his legs while he took off his t-shirt. He couldn’t resist a quick stroke of Bob’s hard cock, palm running over the precum beading at his tip. Newly naked, Bob turned over his shoulder and grabbed John’s face with his right hand, fingers pinching his chin. He let his tongue taste John’s lips before he kissed him, John’s hand already sliding back between his cheeks.

He pushed two fingers inside Bob that time. Bob’s mouth fell open as John’s fingers were enveloped by his warmth, tips already reaching back toward his prostate. John moved his lips down Bob’s jaw to his neck, sucking softly on the tender skin. His fingers scissored side to side, pressed gently up and down, following the cues of Bob’s sharp, shaky inhales and pleasured little moans.

Admittedly, he spent a little longer “prepping” Bob than he really needed to. Bob just felt so fucking good around his fingers, his face so pretty and blissed out like John’s hand was the best thing he’d ever felt. Not to mention he was at the perfect angle to suck on Bob’s neck, to kiss across his shoulder. How could he ever want to move when he had all that?

“Fuck.” Bob reached his right hand back and scratched his fingers through John’s hair, ass pressing into John’s hand as his spine curved. John nibbled up to Bob’s ear, tongue lapping at his earlobe. “Fuck me. John.” He turned his head just far enough for John to catch his gaze. “John, fuck me.”

“Say please,” John whispered, not to assert dominance but to hear Bob’s pretty purr.

“Please.”

John slipped his fingers out of Bob’s ass, giving his cheeks a little squeeze on his way. He rolled over his long enough to grab the bottle of lube from his bedside table. He drizzled the liquid in his palm and rubbed it over his hard cock, then pushed his slick fingers back into Bob’s pretty hole. Bob pushed the blanket out of the way and lifted his right leg, giving John full access to everything and anything he wanted to touch.

He grabbed Bob’s thigh with his right hand, fingers pressing into his warm flesh. John nuzzled his face back into Bob’s shoulder as he shuffled forward on the mattress, the tip of his cock pressing against Bob’s waiting hole. His left arm slid underneath Bob, hand squeezing Bob’s chest tight as he slowly moved his cock inside, teasing Bob with his pace. Bob exhaled deeply, hole relaxing around John’s thick length.

“Shit, you feel so good.” Bob didn’t say anything but he moaned when John bottomed out, face turned just barely turned into the pillow. John pinched his middle and ring fingers around Bob’s nipple, teasing the sensitive bud as he kissed the crook of Bob’s neck. “You are so goddamn beautiful.”

“You’re fucking thick,” mumbled Bob, fingers clawing at the edge of the blanket. John laughed into his neck and kissed him again. He rolled his hips slowly, easing in and out of Bob in absolutely no hurry. “Fuck, that feels good.”

“You feel good?”

“Mmhm. Don’t stop.”

“No faster?”

“No, just like this. Please.”

John nodded and gave Bob’s neck a gentle nibble. His breath warmed Bob’s skin, dick throbbing as he pumped in and out of Bob’s hot body. He rested his chin on Bob’s shoulder, admiring the little bit of spit glistening on his finger as he bit down on his knuckle; the little bit of precum beading from the tip of his cock where it stood hard and wet.

As he maintained his steady rhythm, he focused on memorizing every detail of Bob. The way his tangled curls fell across his face, how his skin flushed pink from his cheeks to his thighs, the little sounds that he made when John’s cock put the most pressure on his prostate and when his fingers massaged his hard nipple.

He was so busy focusing on the warmth around his shaft, the sharp bud beneath his fingers, that John barely noticed when Bob turned over his shoulder. His nose nuzzled against John’s beard, exhales slow and deep. Bob flicked John’s lips with his tongue before he fully leaned in, capturing John’s mouth in a kiss.

John kissed him back, unable to stop himself from smiling when Bob bit down on his bottom lip. He rubbed his fingers over Bob’s tit, his opposite hand squeezing Bob’s thigh tight as he rolled himself forward and back, forward and back. John savored the way his beard felt against Bob’s morning stubble, the way Bob’s curls kept blocking his vision.

For a fleeting moment, all that existed was Bob. The lingering citrus scent of Bob’s shampoo, the vaguest taste of nicotine on his lips. His little moans and whines, his soft warmth sinking beneath John’s palm and surrounding his cock with warmth. John kissed Bob hard, tongue pushing deep between his lips, hand clinging to all the flesh he could grasp.

Then Bob tensed, lips parting as he stifled a whimper. John hugged him closer, tighter, moving his hips just a little more deliberately when Bob whined, “Oh, fuck.”

Bob’s face twisted beautifully as he came, slick ropes of cum painting the unwitting mattress. It spurted out of him when John pushed in deep, Bob’s hips bucking in response. The sight of it was everything. Bob’s hand clinging to the pillow, his cock twitching between his thighs, his face softening as his body started to slow.

John planted a kiss beneath Bob’s ear before he whispered, “Can I…?”

Rather than speak, Bob only nodded. The sound of John’s thighs slapping against Bob’s ass echoed across the room as he increased his pace just enough to bring himself to climax. He squeezed Bob tight when he came, hot cum flooding around his cock, flooding Bob’s insides. Bob whimpered and John kissed the top of his shoulder, still twitching, still throbbing. He kissed his way up Bob’s neck to his jaw until Bob turned again and their lips met.

They kissed until their mouths naturally parted, until their bodies started to relax. John slowly lowered Bob’s leg back to the mattress, his cock still deep inside Bob’s hole. He rested his chin on Bob’s shoulder and breathed deeply, breath flowing off Bob’s skin. His right hand, now free, shifted to Bob’s face and gently tucked his curls behind his ears, knuckles massaging Bob’s cheeks.

“You want me to stay in?” asked John.

Bob nodded, his stare a little distant. It didn’t surprise John at all when he mumbled, “Yeah.”

“I love you.”

“Love you.” He sniffed and rubbed his nose, shifting into the pillow as he mumbled, “Zyn?”

So, John’s cock still wasn’t a good enough distraction. “Still thinking about those?”

“Mmhm.”

Against his better judgment, John grabbed the container of Zyns and popped it open. He pulled one out and reached around to push it between Bob’s lips, savoring the feeling of Bob’s mouth around his fingers. Bob exhaled deeply as he pressed it into his upper lip, like he’d never been more relaxed in his life.

nooooo not at allll........ not even a little bit...... definitely........ no angst here.....

And Bob who had associated touches to his hair with violence or contempt now experiences a comforting and loveing touch... auuugh I am too deep into this !

me too!!! i imagine him doing it all the time and it's very often he doesn't realize that he's doing it. like he's scrolling on his phone in bed and bob is on his shoulder and he just starts playing with bob's hair with his free hand. or they're watching a movie and bob is laying on john's chest and john just absently combs his fingers through bob's hair like he's petting a cat. maybe if they're out at an event and john is a bit anxious he'll wrap his arm around bob's shoulders and toy with his curls, wrapping them around his finger and gently tucking them back in place.

the idea of john using bob's hair as a way to make himself useful is so sweet 🥰 i do think it's probably hard for bob to consistently care for his hair and john is so happy to help him with it. maybe bob showers and then just sits on the bed with wet hair and john sits behind him and brushes it out with his products. or on really bad days john will fully go into the shower with bob just to help him get a good rinse of shampoo and conditioner because he knows bob won't do it if he showers alone.

Its a good thing his back was to john and the fight was happening because john (and everyone else) is contractually obligated to appreciate his curls <3

heart eyes!!! sorry bob i know u were sad and scared as hell but ohhhh my god his curls have never looked cuter than in the void i'm so serious

also re: curls i'm also still not over this look from 2 weeks ago god lewis looked adorable

genuinely i'm so obsessed w the idea of everyone appreciating his curls. last month my awesome friend @absolutelynothoughtswhatsoever shared an idea in my dms that we talked about a bit that was an au where bob has no idea how to take care of his natural curls but john does have some experience with curls thanks to olivia so he gets annoyed watching bob destroy his hair and ends up basically forcing bob to learn how to take care of it and they fall in love about it. which i just had to share bcs i loved that au that was the cutest thing 😭💖

but also i just adore the vault squad appreciating bob's curls!! all of them!! i can see ava helping bob with his hair too or even learning with him? and they're both kind of appreciating their natural hair textures for the first time together now that they have the means and motivation to actually try all this self-care stuff people have been talking about.

and i've talked about it before but i have a headcanon that yelena loves doing hair (because of her fancy braids and everything; she did not need to do all that! so i think she just enjoys it) and she would have the time of her life playing with bob's. bob meanwhile is so indifferent and happy to make her happy that he just lets her do whatever she wants.

the whole thread starts when walker lies. he tells ava and yelena, "i have a loving wife and a son," and based on the last time we [the audience] saw him and olivia together, there is no reason for us to think he's not telling the truth. yes, he had a massive fall from grace, but olivia was still by his side at the end of it. we have no idea that they're separated yet.

next we see john's shame room. up to this point, john has been shown as a cocky asshole. but this is how we find out that a lot of that is just an act. i could get into how his shame room represents a struggle with depression rather than an obsession with vanity but that's beside the point of this post. in the shame room, we see john and olivia argue. it doesn't seem like it's the first time. their relationship is clearly in a bad place which doesn't align with what john said earlier. but when john comes out of the shame room, he puts back on his mask of arrogance and acts like nothing is wrong. the audience knows that john is lying. bob suspects that john is lying. ava and yelena do not know a thing. from this point forward, the audience knows not to trust that what john says is the truth, that he is a lot more broken than he lets on.

he starts to crack when ava and yelena talk about their shitty lives. he empathizes with them and immediately gets made fun of because he has a "norman rockwell family" waiting for him at home. then he gets asked how he does it. he could easily use this moment to tell the truth but instead, he forces a smile and makes up some bullshit to try and motivate what is currently his team. maybe because he doesn't want to bog them down with his truth. maybe because he doesn't want to lay his vulnerabilities out on the table. whichever, it creates a meaningful moment for the audience because we know that john is lying to them. we know his smile is a lie. his answer is a lie. his family is not okay.

which of course, brings us to bucky telling us the truth. olivia left him and took their son. john does not fight back and that shows more about his character than any words could. he doesn't try to defend himself. he doesn't try to excuse his actions. he doesn't even get mad at bucky for exposing him the way he did. yelena looks at john and he just sort of sadly nods. yes. she left me. she took our son. i have nothing. this is a small but powerful moment of connection between them as yelena realizes john is not who she thinks. he doesn't have a perfect family. in his own way, he's just as lonely and fucked up and broken as the rest of them in that room. this is the emotional connection they'd lacked.

after the sentry fight, we get to the full circle moment of why john lied. the moment yelena got angry, she used his vulnerability against him. she said, "you know you're a piece of trash, walker. so does your family." yelena knows now that he's depressed. she uses that against him. she knows his family has left him. she uses that against him. this is why he put up a shield. this is why he presents himself as a vain asshole. to be honest is to be vulnerable and to be vulnerable is to be exposed to pain. same as last time, john does not defend himself. he does know he's a piece of trash. he does know that he made mistakes. so all he says to her is, "jesus," and the audience feels that because thanks to the shame room, thanks to his lying, we've seen all the things he chose not to say.

THUNDERBOLTS* (2025)

Part 1