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have I mentioned on here before that as a child I thought that "dyke" meant "badass" because I was trying to use context clues based on who I heard my parents friends call dykes

The 2-day shipping, buy-it-on-demand mindset makes me feel like the fair folk took over while we were sleeping. We now live in the land of the elves. Our every wish is granted almost immediately, and most of us never stop to wonder what price we'll pay for this. Just because I want an enormous brown scrunchie doesn't mean I can have one right now. Yes, I could just order it from Amazon. The thing is that I was always told never to eat the food the elves offer you, or else you'll be their prisoner for life

BITCH = Believe It Truly Can Happen.

Did you hear that they are replacing websites and social mead with a lovely dim sum meal with all your friends twice a year

it's 100% crucial that anywhere you see or hear the word "calories" you mentally replace that with "energy" and you will see how insane everyone in the world is acting for no reason