I gave you these roses but I left in the thorns

Those exhausting friends 

That are so self obsessed 

So completely absorbed in their image 

And they always have to shine

Even at the cost of your own shine 

You wonder, how much longer?

Surely they will notice 

Surely they don't mean to constantly dim you out 

And eventually you cease to exist 

You are no longer a friend 

You are an accessory 

Maybe you always were, 

Those aren't friends

Today 

I realised where my life spiraled out of control

I realised when I began to grow hard 

I realised when I began to change 

It was so long ago now

I had not even noticed 

Until today 

When you were mentioned 

It has been so long

Since I have not brushed you under the dusty rug 

Of memories I need not remember 

With apathetic comments of how little I care 

But today I let you stay 

And I thought about what had happened 

And I realised that was when it all began 

When I lost hold 

When I started brushing life under the rug

Instead of sweeping it straight outside

Of my mind

To wonder else where

Under someone else's rug

I let you fester for so long

When you were never worth it

And you made me so dirty

But today I realised

And today I cleaned the last of you away

May your scattered remains

Finally bring me peace  

You did not ruin my life 

Yes, you did provide a few 

Extra trials and tribulations 

That I would have been happy without 

Much happier without 

But you did not think about me 

When you spread your lies

Infected the minds of others 

With stories of jealousy and being a victim 

Your twisted tounge knows no bounds 

Your decaying heart no compassion 

For your dearest friend of many years 

Who took your fall 

And fell fell fell 

And crashed and burned and suffered 

At your hands 

But you did not ruin my life 

You have only made it more difficult for me to manage 

Please take me 

Make me feel like I am yours 

Just one night 

And tomorrow you can go back to your friends 

Pretend I don't exist 

I promise to pretend I don't mind 

But I just want to feel alive 

To have that passion ignite 

To experience heat 

Set me alight 

I want to burn 

Please please please 

Baby, light me on fire 

If I could just take some time 

Shut off my mind 

Focus on the smell of coffee 

Everything would be fine 

And I wouldn’t be creating stories 

Of love and sorrow and what if’s 

When they never did exist 

Some people are like this 

Ruled by their thoughts 

Stuck in a tangent 

Unable to live a reality 

Because they are too busy in their head 

Losing the moment 

Losing touch with the world

Because there is a more tempting 

More passionate 

More overwhelming 

More consuming 

More painful 

More confusing 

World 

That does not exist 

You are the calm and comfort of a lazy Sunday 

The taste of mint and man and ease 

With a touch reminisce of the suns glow upon the trees

Sacrosanct like the opening notes of my favourite song

I am mystified through the purple haze as the breeze rejoices your flight

And I tried to hold on to all that you are 

But you are water droplets through my quivering  hands 

So I have decided to turn you into words 

Powerful, strong and true, and all that is you

Because I can enjoy words, I can reflect upon words 

But words cannot bound me 

The way you once had me bound 

YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING. 

NO HUMAN BEING IS BETTER THAN YOU. 

Some people may be better at certain skills than you. 

And you may be better at certain than skills than others. 

But regardless of what talent you may or may not possess this does not make any human being more superior over another. 

We are all human beings, made of flesh and bone and feelings. 

We cannot be anything but equal.

We can only be delusional assholes if we so choose. 

You were everything detestable 

You were what I couldn't have 

You were all I avoided 

You were all my thoughts could comprehend 

You were beneath me 

You were too much 

You were my greatest indulgence 

You were my lush 

I want so hard to understand 

The emptiness inside my soul 

Such a fulfilling life I lead

For which everyday I am grateful 

Yet there are times 

When an unspeakable sadness 

Suffocates me in its strong grasp 

And I struggle 

And I remind myself that I am lucky 

And I surround myself with people 

And I smile 

But still this depression won't cease 

If only I could fill this emptiness 

But I fail to understand why it exists 

All I know is I fear I will never be rid of it 

Little girl stop playing games 

Don't be fooled by your age 

There is still much to learn 

You have barely lived 

And all these boys they know it 

Little girl stop letting them win 

When they taunt your pigtails 

Learn to grin 

Because these boys don't care either way 

They want to make you feel young 

So you will succumb to their ways 

Little girl don't you cry 

You always knew deep inside

That you were still a child 

Free to fly 

Till these wicked boys clipped your wings 

And taught you all these evil things 

Little woman it's okay 

Do you feel now you act your age? 

Because your body moves in a seductress way 

While you dream of a prince and fairytale 

To save you from reality's  hell  

I remember when I loved you

Convinced that you loved me 

Days filled with laughter 

Cups filled with wine

Nights filled with warmth 

Now my heavy heart is filled with longing 

You, you had your fill and fled 

To fill someone else’s life 

Have they filled my place?

I am desperately trying to fill myself

To fill the you in me

Loving someone who does not love you back is the worst torture.

There is a constant feeling of painful agitation in your veins making you so full that it can’t be contained beneath your skin.

You feel  as if you will burst open because every single part of you is so overwhelmed with emotion that you have the most discontent and  terrible desires to violently combust under the pressure.

But you can’t.

There is no one to share the burden of all your love with.

You become fuller and fuller until every artery in your body is pumping nothing but the thick muddy remains of unwanted  affection.

And eventually you become so heavy under the weight of it all that  you suffocate. 

Pretty little birds, please tell me your secret 

How do you sing with such joy 

In a world  filled with sorrows and regret 

Happy little birds, please tell me your secret 

I will promise to keep it 

I  just wish to find a cheerful tune so life seems less desolate 

Don’t leave, I want you

Don’t stay, I don’t need you

Be my friend, I’ll be your only

Be my lover, but never my love

Hate me, I’ll cherish you

Want me, I’ll despise you

Love me, I’ll destroy you

The feeling of a strange tongue as it dances with your own

Becoming familiar as you converse without words

A smile pressed against  a smile

Mouths fighting for domination in heated passion

Capturing soft lips with soft lips

Surrendering, defeat tastes so sweet

Two supple fleshy folds licking all over sensitive skin

Evoking  an untamed wildness 

So much, too much, not enough

Gasping for breathe 

Pulling, tugging, moaning, groaning, sweating

And then you find ecstasy