#dull

Shark Beast

Shark Beast is a fictional cartoon character's name that can beat up criminals who take advantage of a victims for the revenge for the victims.

That inspired by the one picture from the video game called "Yakuza"

© Joseph Plummer

she knew who she wanted to go with

an aperture of power appearing

it might make someone special

acting out of unkind motives

the spring breeze lifts the soft ear

the answer is already protected

Recently I went on a trip with some people from chorus who got into a choir.

We had a nice time with one another and one night shared our traumas.

I don't really know how we got there, but somehow we had.

Listening to everyone I could hear the abuses they went through and the life that had to endure.

It was hard to hear and at times shocking.

Once it got to me, I wasn't sure what I should and should say. In some aspects, there are things I absolutely could share, so they could gain a better understanding of me.

But at the same time, I think about what's at stake.

My mom has a job in the school system. There are standards that feel they need to be upheld

It makes it hard to just live life.

I didn't tell them all that much. Just a few things about my parents and older stillborn brother. Nothing "incriminating".

So I didn't really feel any sense of relief..

I thought of telling them I'm transgender, and how that went, but it was too hard.

So many people look up to my mom as a mother figure, I didn't want to possible crush dreams or wreck her image, so I stayed silent on it.

Plus they were all sophomores/freshmen, and I'm a senior.

It didn't seem reasonable to do.

I feel this way often

So many things go unsaid to not wreck the image of our family. I feel like I'm ruining things by choosing to be myself. And be truly alive.

Living feels like a mistake almost. For a while I convinced myself a life in filth would be better for everyone. Even if I lost my partner.

I would still have my mind and my family there to keep my company. Occupy myself from death.

It was a horrible way to think back then. And even though I don't any longer, the pain still lingers from it.

I feel like a mistake sometimes. I always used to say I regret myself.

I don't understand why I changed.

Why 'we' got broke up. It distresses me.

I can barely tell the truth about my life.

My mom wants me to be excited to see myself and my family in a magazine, and all I can think about is the half truths on the paper..

Sometime in 2024