Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Hello there! Day one Mr Love: Queen's Choice player here who has been here through everything during its nearly seven-year run to yap about an old incident that keeps popping up due to recent news from both MLQC's end of service announcement, as well as Love and Deepspace (you know what it is).
Okay, so let's start.
This is Victor.
Victor is one of the love interests in Mr Love: Queen's Choice (MLQC). During the game's global run, he has had a total of three different English voice actors.
The first voice actor to voice Victor was Benjamin Diskin, who during the game's global release, was unable to participate in promotions with his co-workers for the game due to [fans' speculations] that his contracts with other roles outside of MLQC prevented him from doing so. He voiced Victor for a time before ultimately, he departed from the role to focus on his other contracts. This was a mutual and amicable departure between him and the company. The players, while saddened by this loss, had also wished him well in his future endeavors.
The second voice actor to voice Victor is Jonah Scott. He was warmly welcomed into the cast by players, who were excited to see how he would bring our beloved Victor to life.
During his brief time as Victor, he had voiced several materials for the game (which would later be re-recorded after his job termination). The infamous incident regarding his employment stemmed from a statement he had posted on his twitter account, declaring Taiwan is a country.
For context: Taiwan and China have had a long, ongoing history disputing over Taiwan being recognized as its own country. To many, Taiwan is its own independent nation. China refuses to view it as such. [not trying to oversimplify or take away its own significant weight, to make it easier for a Western audience to understand: this would be similar to how during pre-Revolutionary War between the United States and England, the US had already established that they were an independent nation but England had continued to view it as part of English rule]
[brief note: I don't personally know if Jonah Scott had commonly used his platform to raise awareness on such matter, and I have always felt neutral about him and do not feel any animosity toward him, or this incident. I just find it unfortunate for everyone involved.]
He was promptly fired, a decision which upset many fans and his fellow cast, who all threatened to leave as well if the decision was not reversed.
The decision remained, and so, all of the voice actors left. To reiterate, Jonah Scott was the only one fired, while the remaining four voice actors left in solidarity with him.
With the loss of both Jonah Scott and the original cast (along with newcomer, Aleks Le, who had just joined with the introduction of another character/love interest, Shaw), many players have also left the game.
Many had cited the company made an unfair, callous decision, but here is a food for thought I would like to introduce:
MLQC is a Chinese game, created by a Chinese company, based in China, living under Chinese government rule without the privilege of having the freedom of speech to speak on matters that the country could view as ground for scrutiny and retaliations.
With that in mind, Jonah Scott's statement was viewed as a liability the company was not willing to turn a blind eye to, so his job was terminated.
The resulting fallout led to Jonah Scott being fired from the company, his co-workers who sided with him in solidarity being let go as per their conditions that were refused by the company, players were split into groups who chose to leave alongside the voice actors also as an act of solidarity and to express personal outrage at the company, and those who continued to stay, and ultimately, new voice actors were hired as replacements.
To this day, there is still a group who believed this was the decision of a coldhearted company, and many who refused to acknowledge the current group of voice actors. Personally, if I was working for a Chinese company based in China, no matter what my personal opinions on political matters would be, I would not be making public comments that could be seen as an attacking target on the Chinese government and not expect any sort of consequences or retaliation.
All of this took place in 2021, and afterwards, new voice actors were hired to replace the previous group, and since then, there has been no further incidents pertaining to cast change.
The story of the VA incident has been widely spread and has recently resurfaced, but with many key elements omitted, as well as the lack of knowledge regarding the complicated political history between China and Taiwan. Furthermore, many are viewing this incident and Jonah Scott's statement with the view of those who are fortunate to live in countries where they have freedom of speech to speak their mind without fear. From a different standpoint, the incident was not as simple as many are making it out to be. With this grain of thought, everyone is free to interpret or re-interpret this explanation as they see fit. I really gain nothing from this other than to offer my own insight as someone who was active during this incident.
Now as MLQC is unfortunately approaching an end of service this month (March 27th), since the incident, the current group of voice actors have voiced the characters for far longer than the original cast had. Many players have accepted the change and also celebrated and praised the new group of voice actors for bringing the cast to life with their emotional and lively portrayal.
We still have players who've been here since day one, others who have joined over the course of its nearly seven-year run, or even those who are as recent as just a month earlier, this game is very much adored by many around the world. It is still doing very well in its home country with new updates of cards and main story in its near future, but for us on the global server, we are faced with a devastating end just as we are about to celebrate our seventh anniversary. This is not the way we wanted to see the game end. It has been a source of comfort and joy for many, and a passing fancy for others, but we would still like to see it continuing for many more years, or at the very least, seeking an extension for the end to allow players additional time to archive as much of the game as possible.
If you are still reading, please consider joining the cause by signing this online petition to save the game:
Save Mr. Love: Queen’s Choice – Don’t Shut It Down!
As of this post, the petition is approaching 600 signatures. Every little bit will help to raise our voices and is greatly appreciated by all in the MLQC community. Until the end, we will continue to do what we can to save the game that has been dear to many of us for years, and for many of us, this game has saved us during our own darkest hours and lowest points. We will continue to do what we can to save not just the game, but Victor, Gavin, Lucien, Kiro, and Shaw.
Ending this with a recent video call from Victor (voiced by his third and current VA, Eliah Mountjoy) for his birthday this past January.
The Strength of Humanity: Xiao Yi (Osborn) Character Exploration
Based on around the first year of in-game content. Everything written is my personal interpretation. WARNING: includes topics such as violence, abuse, and suicide.
Translation for the quotes are all by @aishangotome ♡
PART 1: DISCONNECTION FROM THE WORLD
As a victim of being abandoned by his parents and perceived as a monster by his peers, Xiao Yi’s connection to the world was forcefully stripped away from him against his will.
As I walked, I thought, I don’t know anyone in this world anymore. If I disappear, no one will even notice. (6* Card 四百击)
Without this sense of connection, his natural reaction was to feel lonely in the absence of support, to fear seclusion, to rage at the world’s inhumanity, and to be fuelled by hatred for evil. He couldn’t let himself become hidden and resigned from the world, and he also couldn’t allow the world to abandon him just like his parents did. He wanted freedom, and he thought he could achieve that by rebelling against evil.
Everything he had done, from childhood to now, was to escape this place. The world was a wasteland, but he could venture out, search for a better view, even if it was just a fleeting glimpse. (6* Card 四百击)
Ironically, the more he asserted his presence, the more disconnected from the world and the people within it he grew, and the more he chased his long-awaited freedom, the more trapped he became. He became an outsider on the edge of society as he stood on the opposite side of power and authority, disconnected from the prevailing beliefs which dominated the society around him. He wanted to be a hero, but whenever he rebelled against evil and injustice, he would be treated as the villain instead, turned into a victim abused beyond humanity.
He wanted to be in charge of his own fate and actively sever ties with the world first instead of being a passive bystander continually crushed under the weight of loss. He would forcefully assert his presence and banish evil because he had no attachments: there was no one he cared about, and no one that cared about him. He had the freedom to act however he wanted, but could it truly be considered freedom when he was still trapped within and controlled by his own feelings of resentment to the point that his role in the world would remain a victim? Did his assertive rebellion give him control, or was he still passively being controlled by the world?
His desires to rebel against evil, his unwillingness to surrender to authority, and his ultimate search for freedom all stemmed from hatred; hatred for his situation, hatred for the people that put him in this situation, and hatred for all of the evil present in society. His desire to become a hero was fuelled by hatred.
I couldn’t describe it then, but I vaguely felt that it was “hatred.” I heard it say, I want to be like him. I have to be like him. (6* Card 四百击)
In reality, this hatred stemmed from his inherent kindness and morality. His inherent morality led to him easily distinguishing good from bad, leading to him having strong feelings towards protecting the innocent and punishing evil. Despite being abandoned by his parents and seen as a monster by his peers, he still viewed and treated everyone as human, holding forgiveness in his heart even if they weren’t innocent.
Xiao Yi cried out in pain, but he still didn’t summon his flames. His reason told him that this man, despite his wickedness, was still just an ordinary human. (6* Card 四百击)
While Xiao Yi treated everyone as human, everyone else treated him as a monster. For the authority who only cared about power and greed, kindness and morality were viewed as ultimate weaknesses that could be easily crushed. In a society where the evil are seen as human and the innocent are treated as monsters, is there any meaning behind morality anymore? The combination of having no attachments to anyone, being an outsider looking in, and always standing on the opposite side of every moral dilemma only left him feeling even more disconnected from the world, merely remaining a powerless victim instead of having any influence.
PART 2: DISCONNECTION FROM HIMSELF
Xiao Yi has always been firmly guided by his individual morals, fully aware that he was in the right and that they were in the wrong. He would never bend to the will of evil, even if he had to bear all of the punishment himself.
“I did nothing wrong. Why should I apologise?” (6* Card 四百击)
However, for someone with such firm individual morals, he sure was extremely conflicted by his own beliefs. Although Xiao Yi held strong moral views, the lines of good and bad became blurred when judging himself. He began to internalise society’s judgements of him by attempting to free himself from kindness and morality, considering himself a villain instead of the hero he previously dreamed of being. This was because Xiao Yi’s kindness became his own torment. He loathed himself for longing for the company of his morally despicable parents, and for having the smallest sprout of hesitation or forgiveness in his heart for the criminals he rebelled against. He hated that he still viewed the villains of his world as human, because viewing morally bad people as human would insinuate to himself that he was also not a morally good person. This inner conflict left him feeling like he couldn’t openly express himself to the world, leaving him more trapped in his own feelings and further away from achieving freedom.
Didn’t I already decide to sever all ties with them? I would think, to have nothing to do with them anymore? But why did I still dream about them? Was it because those years we spent together were happy? I thought that even strangers, hearing my story, would condemn them as failures, unfit to be parents. In short, their leaving was a blessing, and if one day news came of their misfortune, it would be well-deserved. I shouldn’t miss them. So whenever I dreamt of them, I would wake up filled with self-loathing, hating myself for being so conflicted. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it, because morally, I was supposed to hate them. (6* Card 四百击)
His kindness also meant that he couldn’t defeat these evil people like he wanted, because he was the one always being defeated instead.
I was paying the price for my soft-heartedness. Pinned to the ground, I couldn’t help but feel a surge of bitter amusement. While the other person only wanted to kill me, I was still sincerely considering the possibility of forgiveness. (6* Card 四百击)
As a result, Xiao Yi divided his soul into two, discarding the ‘kind’ part of his soul. Interestingly, the ‘kind’ part of his soul was the half completely consumed by rage and resentment, killing and beating people up out of pure hatred. However, the reason it’s considered the ‘kind’ half of his soul is because of the guilt and hatred he directed towards himself as a result of his actions. His own kindness made him hate himself because he viewed himself as immoral, and immorality is the absolute last thing he would ever want to embody. Without kindness, he could continue to defeat evil while disregarding the morality of his actions, so that he wouldn’t be trapped by guilt and hatred and subsequently be destroyed by himself. Afterwards, he claimed to not care about morality.
Xiao Yi: I want to be a villain.
Xiao Yi gazed intently at the moon, a fire burning in his eyes.
Xiao Yi: I want to personally witness all those evildoers receive the punishment they deserve.
Zhou Weicheng: Then why don’t you become a police officer, upholding justice?
Xiao Yi: Good people are restricted by many things, but villains aren’t.
Xiao Yi: If I could, I wouldn’t want kindness or compassion at all. They’ll only destroy me. (6* Card 自由落体)
He did this to not be destroyed by himself, but it was actually only destroying him even more. He was constantly berated by the world, but now he was being berated by himself too. Not only did he want to kill others, but he contemplating killing himself multiple times. As he kept contemplating death, he kept living not for himself, but for punishment. One, to punish evil, and second, to also be punished in return.
If there was one regret, it was this: I wouldn’t kill myself. I would raise my sword again and defeat him. (6* Card 四百击)
All I would have to do is jump, and I can escape it all. Would anyone grieve for me? Would anyone care if I died? “The person who cares most would probably be that Principal Xu.” Xiao Yi gave a self-deprecating chuckle, but the thought made him step back from the edge. He had to stay alive until those people were punished. (6* Card 四百击)
But for a moment, I really thought about giving up. I thought, let it end here. For me, life had never been about survival, but about punishment. (6* Card 自由落体)
He lived out of hatred, and this hatred served as his own punishment. Both his reason to live and his means of survival stemmed from self-sacrifice: to put money on the table, he participated in rigged races, took on dangerous commissions as a bounty hunter, and developed an unsafe habit of venting his emotions through speeding.
But since he removed the kind part of his soul that hated himself for his guilt, he shouldn’t harbour so much self-hatred, right? Why did he still hate himself? He hated himself because the idea of lacking morality still heavily bothered him. He went from raging at the world for its unfairness to raging at himself because he felt that he wasn’t a good person. Since he wasn’t a good person, perhaps it wasn’t the world that was unfair, but that he actually deserved all of the abuse he suffered.
Xiao Yi: Someone like me was a mistake from birth. I hit teachers and principals in school, and I’ve been locked up.
Once a clean white paper has a stain, it’s dirty.
Xiao Yi: I belong here. (6* Card 自由落体)
“What if— just what if— I was born evil? Without a kind heart?” (6* Card 自由落体)
In summary, Xiao Yi has always been inherently kind, but became destroyed by his kindness, subsequently tried to destroy his own kindness, and finally became destroyed by him destroying his own kindness.
A major turning point for him is when his rigged races ended up leading a man who lost his money to kill himself. The deceased man’s wife raged at Xiao Yi and wanted to kill him, and he had a sudden urge to kill her in return. In reality, the wife held the same morals and perspective that Xiao Yi originally had. In her eyes, her husband lost everything and died as a result of Xiao Yi’s immorality, and she was filled with rage and resentment towards him, wanting him to be punished. Isn’t that the exact same sense of punishment that Xiao Yi had been living for this whole time? How on earth did he end up on the other side and become the exact type of person he hated? It was all because he was attempting to free himself from his kindness, emotions, and morality, all of the qualities that constitute his humanity.
However, the most important moment was what came after.
Car audio: Little boat gently swaying in the water…
Someone had accidentally hit the button, and a children’s song suddenly filled the car, the child’s voice as clear as a spring.
Car audio: A cool breeze blows towards us…
Xiao Yi felt the grip on his neck loosen slightly.
The sudden surge of malice vanished, and he abruptly released her, realising he had just done something despicable.
(6* Card 自由落体)
Hearing the children’s song in this moment is a call back to how we were all just children once. Children aren’t born inherently good or bad; they are only shaped by the circumstances they grow up in. Life is inherently unfair. No child deserves to be abandoned by their parents, and everyone deserves to grow up in a loving home and be surrounded by a supportive environment.
However, society is often so flawed that it makes innocent victims feel that they deserve everything that happened to them. This is because emotions, kindness, and morality are dismissed as weaknesses by those in power, but expecting people to suppress the qualities that form the basis of humanity only isolates victims more, leading the world to become even more unfair and divided. The powerful only continue to abuse their power, the victims only become more suppressed, and more people would want to fight against the world, rather than be a part of it.
“Don’t you find it ironic? Those who commit evil only care about their own desires. When they make a mistake, all they need to do is show good repentance, and people believe they will reform. It’s as if society tells them that as long as you conceal your actions well and cry profusely when caught, you’ll eventually be forgiven and forgotten. And the price must be paid by the innocent, struggling victims. It’s as if these students were simply unlucky, deserved to die, and deserved to be hurt.” (Main Story 13-13)
All of Xiao Yi’s feelings, especially all of his burning rage and resentment, are all completely valid and justified. He didn’t deserve anything that happened to him, and the world should have paid more attention to and treasured his emotions instead of trying to extinguish them. If people who were treated unfairly could truly be seen and heard in this world, maybe they would grow up with love and kindness instead, and wouldn’t feel the need to fight against the world.
Ke Yang: If society didn’t always label them as antisocial, and didn’t deliberately lead them that way. If their parents were a little nicer to them, they would become good kids too. (6* Card 自由落体)
Xiao Yi heavily toed the line between good and bad, and was extremely close to becoming the exact type of person he hated because he suppressed his kindness. At the end of the day, the responsibility lies with adults to treat children with care, but also with individuals to break the cycle and not follow in these adults’ footsteps, as difficult and unfair as it may be. Ultimately, breaking the cycle would be a step forward for himself, to not be consumed by self-hatred, and to not passively allow the world to take complete control of his emotions for the rest of his life.
Sometimes, it’s the rebellion against instinct and nature that truly showcases the unique brilliance of humanity, distinct from beasts. (Chapter 17 抗争的勇气)
Xiao Yi is not a monster, and in reality, no one is. When people are labelled as monsters, they separate themselves from the rest of humanity and start to feel justified in their acts against humanity. Running away from his humanity only proves his distinctly inherent humanity. However, always running away only brings him further away from the freedom he has always chased. Who says kindness is a weakness and can’t signify strength? Perhaps many people would say that, but if people are unaccepting of his true self and he hates that they’re unaccepting of his true self, why should he let their judgements affect his own self-judgement? However, Xiao Yi has always been extremely selfless. He assumed the role of a sacrificial hero as a sole individual, internalising all of his guilt and suffering on his own. He should stay true to himself and not compromise on his moral beliefs, but being free from desiring external validation isn’t easy for someone so selfless. Therefore, he needs to learn to prioritise himself.
PART 3: CONNECTION TO HIMSELF AND THE WORLD
Xiao Yi eventually starts finding his unique place in the world when he finds connection with other people.
At that moment, he suddenly had a feeling that he was living his life in this world earnestly. He no longer felt like a passerby or someone who always stood on the opposite side of everything. Xiao Yi’s name seemed to have a weight of its own. He was being called by people with anticipation, praise, enthusiasm… with all sorts of different emotions. In these calls, a Xiao Yi utterly different from his former self was emerging into the world. (6* Card 自由落体)
How was he able to achieve this, though? By no longer running away from himself and instead listening to his own heart. He begins by being led by his personal interest and curiosity about the world and the people within it, continuing to search for the freedom he desires. When he experiences the world for himself, he also meets and attracts like-minded people who like and accept him as he is. There has always been a world so much larger than the confines he was trapped in his whole life, but he had to take the first step to be willing to explore that world. Change comes from falling down and experiencing life for himself, not from letting other people change him or tell him what type of person he should be.
He may have been hated by one section of society, but another section of society actually admires him. No one is inherently good or bad, or inherently stronger or weaker than others, because different people have different views on these subjective concepts in the first place. Therefore, the most important thing is for him to stay true to his moral compass. Why should he devote his life to self-sacrifice and desire external validation from people who hold beliefs he’s heavily opposed against? Overall, his life begins when he takes the initiative; not for the world, but for himself.
He takes this initiative by actively extending his kindness towards others. He used to desire and demand kindness from the world and became disappointed when he didn’t receive what he wanted, but when everyone is waiting to receive kindness, there also has to be someone to initiate it first.
The world was indifferent to my feelings, and even if I abandoned my journey, it would not try to entice me with what I desired. With this realisation, my resentment towards disappointment dissipated. I discovered that I possessed something that transcended it: fellow adventurers who shared my risks, and a kindred spirit who understood my unspoken feelings. (6* Card 自由落体)
Specifically, he extends his support to people who have also been ostracised as outsiders, just like he was. He builds his own supportive community through kindness and forgiveness, and through forgiving other innocent people who have been through similar trials and made similar mistakes as he has, he can also start to forgive himself.
There was the seemingly frail young man with a horrifying tattoo revealed when he rolled up his sleeves, and a burly man with a scar over his left eye… They had all made mistakes in their youth and faced social stigma, struggling to fit into normal society. Xiao Yi gave them a chance. (6* Card 自由落体)
There’s a common sentiment that Xiao Yi is so strong and invincible that he’d probably be able to achieve happiness on his own without the MC, but the core basis of his character is that he learns to live and love himself when he’s connected to others. He learns to forgive himself through forgiving others, and in particular, loving MC is ultimately an act of sincerely loving himself.
Within their dynamic, Xiao Yi is very brave, assertive, confident, fearless, seemingly doesn’t overthink at all, and takes action without hesitation. Meanwhile, the MC, especially compared to him, is generally portrayed as more hesitant to take action due to fears and worries. However, while they may seem like polar opposites, the basis of their relationship is formed on the deep connection they feel to each other’s shared emotions. They both grew up as lonely children who were ostracised as monsters, so they actually deeply relate to and find solace in each other because they embrace each other’s humanity.
He gently accepts her fears, worries, loneliness, and envy, and expresses a certain level of emotional vulnerability with her that he doesn’t express anywhere else. The way he accepts and cares for her feels like he’s also learning to love and care for his own inner child that never received love from the world. Them being connected by their shared emotions they’ve held onto since childhood show that they are both simply just human. Xiao Yi is certainly admirable, but he experiences all of the same negative emotions that all humans do. Everyone is capable of embodying the strength they admire in Xiao Yi if they were only kinder to themselves.
“I envied that eaglet. I believed it was born with the ability to look down upon the earth, to enjoy the view from the highest point. But later, I realised that nothing is born fearless. It also had to fall countless times before finally becoming the way I envied.” (5* Card 拾光秘密)
He also notably doesn’t tell MC to change, not even to be more brave or confident. After all, the MC is Xiao Yi’s light that he strives towards because he likes her gentle nature. He just encourages her to be herself, and to do whatever she wants to do. This gentle acceptance is also an act of kindness towards his inner child who was always punished for not fitting into society’s expectations. His own strength in and of itself might encourage her to take a step forward, but he never tells her that she needs to be stronger. This can even be observed through his extremely direct personality; his straightforwardness on its own also encourages MC to be more direct too. Ultimately, MC taking the initiative wouldn’t be for him; it would be for herself, on her own terms. His role is only to help guide and encourage her.
To prevent a flower from withering, you don’t forbid it from blooming. That wasn’t true protection. True heroism was about becoming stronger for the sake of the flower you wanted to protect, to accompany it through the storms. (Chapter 12 生死与共)
For Xiao Yi, fighting against the world and running away from himself was never true freedom. Having attachments to other people brought significant value to his life.
He finally understood. His yearning for freedom stemmed from a lack of attachments. And now, he was willing to trade some of that freedom for a different kind. (6* Card 四百击)
Not only that, but having attachments to others in and of itself is the true freedom that Xiao Yi has been searching for his whole life. Xiao Yi and MC find freedom when they’re with each other, because through simply accepting each other as they are, they allow each other’s unique individuality to shine. True freedom is staying true to yourself and your humanity.
Xiao Yi has come out the other end of adversity as a strong and admirable hero, and unlike the abusive authority figures he faced in the past who used their power for evil, he chooses to use his strength to protect the innocent. He shows that the role of the strong should be to protect and support people who are still discovering their own inner strengths, not to prey on and exploit their kindness. After all, kindness is a strength that highlights the strongest parts of humanity, not a weakness.
The Humanity of a Fox: Qi Sili (Sariel) Character Exploration
This is the first time I'm posting on Tumblr in my entire life. I know there is barely a global Light and Night community and that virtually no one will read this but I wrote this out of pure love and passion haha (if anyone does actually read this post, I hope you have an amazing day, week, month, year, and that your gacha pulls are blessed). I've only started playing this year and have only read around the first year or so of content so my understanding may be outdated, and everything written here is my personal interpretation.
Translation for the quotes are all by @aishangotome ♡
PART 1: THE PAST
As someone who was born and lived hundreds of years as a fox before taking on a human form, Qi Sili had to learn and adapt to human behaviour. He was puzzled by all of the unwritten social rules and expectations that humans created for themselves and had to abide by for seemingly no reason other than to fit in. What was the purpose of all of these rules? What was the purpose of war, and what was the purpose of him being summoned to lead these humans into battle? So what, just because he was told that fighting in war was his life mission granted by the gods, he would simply accept it? No. Qi Sili has always been seeking for an underlying purpose to people’s actions, trying to make sense of why people do the things they do. He needs a solid reason to be able to accept something.
Human behaviour is confusing, but their reasons for waging war are also straightforward.
They want to own the land, so they build high walls. They want to go to more places, so they continuously wage wars. Once understood, humans aren’t difficult to comprehend. (6* Card 长风吹彻)
However, this straightforward line of reasoning still isn’t convincing enough to explain why people wage war. It doesn’t answer a few questions, such as, do humans really find satisfaction in endlessly conquering land, instead of prioritising human lives? Do humans really feel victory through defeat? Qi Sili experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows of humanity on the battlefield, witnessing friends who initially vowed to never kill ending up with blood on their hands. His friends didn’t feel victorious after killing; instead, he was witnessing them lose their liveliness with each life they took.
This was the first time I understood the difference between victory and defeat, life and death. Humans could not feel victory through defeat, but they could feel life through death. (6* Card 长风吹彻)
Killing people never evoked joy, but witnessing death brought feelings of grief, loss, and devastation. Human reaction to death reminded Qi Sili of how full of life his fellow soldiers were before they entered war. He didn’t want them to further lose their humanity and become a shell of who they once were. Instead, he wanted to protect these fragile, yet precious, hearts of human beings.
It’s precisely because he isn’t human, that he felt the responsibility to preserve others’ humanity. He viewed himself as a separate entity from other humans, therefore he took it as his duty to protect them by sinning in their place instead. For someone who has always been searching for a purpose, he immediately adopted this as his ultimate purpose in life. The problem is, he wanted to do this because he cared deeply for them. This fox had also learnt how to feel emotions, just like humans.
He only wished that these men wouldn’t lose all traces of themselves. If someone had to kill, he would be that person. If someone had to die because of it, he would be that person too. He would bear the weight of those sins, one by one, throughout his long life, until he was no longer himself. (6* Card 长风吹彻)
Everyone else around him eventually died, but he was immortal. As the sole survivor, he was the only one that could carry memories of his fallen comrades into the future, carry the weight of their sins, and fulfil the wishes and desires that they never got to see to themselves. He carried out these duties, ultimately fulfilling the purpose he was always searching for, but now he was left with a void of emptiness. A life without purpose wasn’t worth living, but as an immortal being, he couldn’t even die, no matter how hard he tried to.
Just like the soldiers he was committed to honouring who felt life through death, he felt the same pain thousandfold, and the source of this pain was his emotions. He may have originally been a fox, but what makes someone uniquely human? Their ability to feel emotions, whether it’s the pain of death, or loving and caring for others. This fox had also become a human, but he didn’t want to accept it. Human emotions were simply too painful to bear.
When he first took human form, Qi Sili thought the royal city was much more interesting than Mount Kunlun. People cried when they were happy, cried when they were sad, laughed when a new life arrived, and drank and made merry when someone departed. How strange. Once he understood them, he would feel these emotions too, he thought. He learned quickly. It wouldn’t be long. Qi Sili didn’t know that when that day came, he would wish he was still an ignorant fox. It was too late. A beast turned human could never go back. (6* Card 长风吹彻)
Since he couldn’t die even after multiple suicide attempts, he resorted to what seemed like the next best solution: escaping pain by chasing pleasure. In fact, his extreme sense of responsibility was so burdensome that it led to no sense of responsibility at all. By endlessly gambling and drowning his sorrows in alcohol, the pleasure he gained was through numbing his painful memories and emotions, bringing him to feel closer to death. However, these impulsive, hedonistic actions still never satisfied him, because they didn’t bring him purpose.
No matter how he tried to stimulate his senses with sights, sounds, smells, and tastes, they slipped away like running water, unable to linger in his empty heart for even a moment. (6* Card 见见春天)
He couldn’t continue with this unfulfilling lifestyle, so he felt like he needed to find something to be responsible for again. Perhaps abandoning his past and forging a new direction in life could bring him the sense of purpose he had lost… which brought him to pursuing fashion design.
PART 2: THE FUTURE
Perhaps I could create a brand, one that had nothing to do with the Qi Sili of the past, one that belonged solely to the new me. I named this brand Vesi. It represented not just new life, but also a sense of hope and longing. (6* Card 触目如故)
Qi Sili believed that the way to moving on was forgetting about the past. Seemingly, the more he moves forward, the more distant he can grow from his past. His newfound sense of responsibility is observed by him living a minimalistic and ascetic lifestyle, eating a simple and clean diet, and not overindulging in temporary pleasures like he used to. Forgetting his past is like following a ray of light, giving him hope for the future.
“Life itself is inherently unfair. Everything will have a result you have to accept. Surviving isn’t about redemption or reconciliation, but about forgetting.” (Main Story 7-21 Night Ending)
Notice how he says surviving, though? To survive is to forget, but is he really living? While losing his memories, he has also been degenerating and getting closer to death, yet he finds comfort in that. The ray of hope that he has been following is just leading him closer to his demise.
Despite this, he does indeed have a new sense of responsibility, which is reflected throughout his philosophy as a designer. He has maintained his strong sense of individualism and encourages the same freedom of expression in everyone else.
“Fashion is not for the purpose of standardising aesthetics or creating divisions between people, but rather to enable everyone to face themselves squarely and accept themselves. Everyone has the freedom to become themselves." (Main Story 1-01)
It’s ironic of him to say this though, because as someone who’s constantly running away from his memories, his pain, his emotions, and consequently his humanity, has he ever faced his true self yet? And as much as he advocates for freedom of expression, he also criticises MC’s designs for being too imbued with personal emotions to the point they lose their functional value.
“I don’t know why the personal emotions are so strong that it loses its significance as a hat itself.” (Main Story 1-16)
While he has always been interested in human emotion, he now believes that emotions hinder function. In the past, his strong emotions caused his hedonic downfall to the point where he was unable to function, so now he believes that emotions cannot exist healthily on their own apart from functionality. Yet again, this shows he has still not completely moved on from the past.
“Good works are a combination of function and aesthetics.” (Main Story 5-03)
He also believes that designers should be guided by function, manifesting in a distinct purpose. This purpose serves as an overarching structure that imposes limits so that one doesn’t impulsively follow their whims, emotions, or heart, at any given moment.
“The most important thing for a designer is to know why they are creating. Rather than daydreaming all day, thinking about how you can soar higher, perhaps you’d be better off first learning how to walk.” (Main Story 1-16)
Yet again, he continues to project his past experiences onto the future, since his past impulsive actions that were a result of running away from his heart left him devoid of purpose. Now he encourages emotional expression after functionality is guaranteed, showing that he at least is not completely dismissive of emotions, but this newfound purpose is still limiting the depths of his heart. He is still suppressing his emotions and consequently, himself.
Now, what does he mean by the idea that a designer should know the reason why they are creating? How exactly can a designer discover their purpose? In his eyes, purpose now means doing what feels right to an individual. He has always been individualistic, with all of his values stemming from his own heart, regardless of what other people think. He has always made sense of humans with his own reasoning, staying true to his own beliefs. Therefore, it makes sense that he encourages people to do what feels right to them, because he has always done the same.
However, this is again incredibly ironic because this mindset is actually limiting him. Remember how when he was first assimilating to human life in the past, he was puzzled by the seemingly meaningless rules and structures that humans would impose on themselves and others? He is now also one of those puzzling humans creating pointless rules and structures for himself thinking that it’s serving a higher purpose, when all it’s really doing is confining the extent of his heart. He continues to deny his humanity while being the complete embodiment of a human being.
He also claims that discovering this purpose, which entails knowing what feels right, comes from extensive experience.
“Designers create beauty to emotionally connect with the audience. But this beauty cannot exist apart from experience.” (Main Story 5-03)
He’s giving this advice to junior designers, those who have only just begun their professional career. There are people who copy his designs, and he discourages this behaviour because he believes that what feels right to someone is personal to every individual, meaning that people shouldn’t merely imitate someone who’s extremely experienced either. But where are they going to get this experience from, if they cannot start without experience? Maybe he has gotten it all reversed. Maybe people learn how to walk by following where their heart leads.
This is not to say that his long life experience of over three thousand years is not useful in any way. After all, he is a world-renowned fashion designer who creates works of beauty that are both functional and expressive, highly resonating with the public. Why do his creations resonate with people’s hearts, though? Through his wealth of experiences, he pours his endless encounters with humanity into his designs. This touch of human emotion is precisely what underlies the beauty of his designs.
I began my attempt to become an ordinary tailor. I poured everything I saw, all the dreams and stories others shared with me into my sketches, then brought them to life one by one. (6* Card 触目如故)
Now, let's take a couple steps back. Why would he choose to become a fashion designer in the first place, out of all the possible paths he could have taken? War and fashion design seem like they have nothing in common. They could even be considered complete opposites, as war involves death, while design involves creation, so becoming a fashion designer is akin to a rebirth for him. But for Qi Sili, these two fields are distinctly related, and are actually very similar. I absolutely love the quote below because I think it beautifully and ingeniously sums up his character in three sentences.
“When it comes to creation, the world often only cares about the result, but the path to that result is often fraught with thorns. Embarking on it will leave you bloodied, and completing it might leave you scarred. However, pure ‘beauty’ is often born from this bloodshed, so there’s nothing to fear.” (Main Story Chapter 1 触摸光芒)
This quote has multiple levels. On the broader surface level, it describes design as the aforementioned ‘beauty’ after the bloodshed. Design was the catalyst that allowed him to seemingly move forward from his past. However, on a deeper level, this quote also separately encompasses both the experience of war and the process of design, heavily paralleling each other in his experiences. In war, the ‘beauty’ after the bloodshed was the emotion he witnessed. The pain that was felt after death showed that people still cared deeply about each other. In design, the ‘beauty’ after the bloodshed is also emotion. People's dreams, stories, and experiences may have been difficult to bear, but they get to be brought to life and appreciated by other humans through works of art. Once again, what ties war and design together is emotion, and most importantly, they are threaded together by Qi Sili’s own humanity.
This parallel of war, which represents his past, and design, which represents the future, continues to show that while he believes he is moving forward, he still hasn’t actually moved on from his past. He has always been bringing to life the dreams of other people, first by fulfilling the wishes of his dead comrades after war, and secondly by breathing life into the stories of others through his designs. He heavily values individualism, and yet his purpose has always been tied to other people; honouring their hearts, but neglecting his own. He has made it to the future, yet he still doesn’t accept himself as human.
He has always been trapped in the illusion of moving on, stuck in an endless cycle of trying to discover a grander purpose and constructing a greater meaning, unable to realise that he’s still stuck in the past, chasing the future, and consequently losing sight of what’s right in front of him: the present moment.
PART 3: THE PRESENT
Qi Sili wants to move forward, but he wants to do this without change. He began to hate the idea of change after constantly witnessing his friends enlist and never return. If there was a way he could prevent these inevitable losses and allow things to always stay the same, he would. But the only thing that’s unchangingly guaranteed in life is death. It’s hard to control or convince other people who are all brimming with their own stubborn individuality, so the only thing he could do is hold this standard towards himself. He is also someone who is stubbornly individualistic. Just like the people from his past, he also refuses to change. Maybe it’s not out of his own individualism, but rather that he is still being led by other people’s agendas instead of following his own.
“There are plenty of people in the world who change. No need to look to me for that.” (6* Card 触目如故)
For this reason, it’s easier for him to not care about anyone. If he didn’t care about anyone, he wouldn’t have to experience the pain of losing them. If he had no one to lose, he wouldn’t be overwhelmed by his emotions. He has become emotionally reserved, cold and distant, someone who finds it easy to bluntly deliver harsh criticism but hesitant to be openly direct about his personal feelings. But deep down, he is still lacking the sense of purpose he has always been searching for.
If one day he woke up and there was no one left in the world that he cared about, would that still be considered living? (6* Card 触目如故)
Changes slowly begin to occur when he finds himself caring for MC. His heart can’t help but be swayed because his emotions have never disappeared, no matter how hard he tries to suppress them.
Qi Sili and MC have several different relationship dynamics with each other: immortal and human, idol and fan, mentor and student, boss and subordinate, gege and meimei. In each of these dynamics, he holds the position of authority. However, as observed by his extremely personal and biased views towards design, his views are not correct or incorrect, because they aren't objective truths. They are just as subjective as anyone else's regardless of their age, status, or quantity of life experience. Many of his views stem from beliefs that leaves him trapped in the past, and the MC, who presents an opposing outlook, adds infinite value to his life and expands his worldviews. Even though he has lived so much longer than her and has significantly more life and professional experience than her, there is still so much to learn from her, so much more to experience with her. She adds value to his life because the individual experience cannot merely be quantified by time, and striving towards her allows himself to break out of his self-sabotaging time loop. They both add value to each others’ lives because they stay open-minded towards each other’s differences, and yet they don’t have to be confined by labels such as immortal-human or mentor-subordinate, because rather than merely being different, they also recognise that they are fundamentally on the same level: simply human beings who are learning from and experiencing new things with each other every day.
Qi Sili has always hated unnecessary social constructs. He has never believed in these boundaries and labels created to divide people, the same type of meaningless rules and structures that lead to war. This individualistic mindset causes him conflict within his own Spirit Clan because he isn’t supposed to be so close to humans, but he doesn’t care. He has his own principles that he’ll always abide by.
“It’s ridiculous to differentiate lives based on race to begin with.” (6* Card 长宵无觅)
However, MC later finds out she’s from the God Clan. Qi Sili has never believed in gods, and this links back to why he was summoned to become a war general among human beings in the first place. As a fox, he was chosen by gods to go into battle because he was a spiritual being with strength and talent that most humans could not match. War was posed to him as his life mission, his true purpose. In reality, he struggled to understand the purpose of war, and why he needed to fulfil this duty when it wasn’t something he chose of his own volition. The control the gods seemingly had over his destiny only led to feelings of disdain. He never even believed in gods in the first place, despite being told they exist and were supposedly in control of his fate. Perhaps it’s because believing in gods is supposed to provide purpose to one’s life, but war did not bring him a sense of purpose; it emptied him of it.
His love for MC aligns with his love for humans, but his skepticism towards deities clashes with her identity as a god. His love for her doesn’t falter, though. On the contrary, his love gradually overpowers his sense of reason. He becomes so concerned for MC’s safety that he finds himself wanting to pray to the gods that he never even believed in to keep her safe. By letting himself care for someone else, he is ultimately caring for himself.
Qi Sili suddenly really wished to pray to the gods. For someone who hasn’t believed in gods at all, can they give him a single chance? He wanted to tell them that he regrets it now. He’s willing to believe in the presence of gods. He, too, wanted a good ending. (Main Story 13-23 Light Ending)
The unfortunate matter about loving a human as an immortal, though, is that he will outlive her and again suffer the pain and grief that he is incredibly used to but has always tried to avoid up until this point. It would require him to break down the barriers he has placed around his heart, leaving himself vulnerable to his own emotions. For the past three thousand years, Qi Sili has always been seeking purpose to his long and painful existence. But what’s the point of life if he cannot love? What’s the point of living if he feels comforted by death? The sense of purpose he rekindled through fashion design only allowed him to get back up and survive, but it hasn’t allowed him to truly live. What happens when he finds himself falling in love? His sense of purpose becomes shattered because he finds himself irrationally following his heart for no greater reason.
Perhaps this is what it means to change: listening to his own emotions without needing a reason, letting go of his incessant need to be passively guided by a grand purpose, and actively following his own heart wherever it takes him for the first time in his life. This is different from when he fell into hedonistic addictions in the past, because instead of upholding other people's wishes, he is finally prioritising his own.
Sometimes, you just had to follow your heart and do things that didn’t seem to make sense. No need for a reason, no need to care about what others thought. Because the reason was simply four words. I just like it. (Main Story Chapter 5 盛夏清味)
Love is an active choice that he’s finally willing to make not because it’s easy, but because it’s worth it to him. When choosing to love MC, he will experience loss and pain through her fleeting existence, but human emotions are the essence of living. This includes the joy, the despair, and everything in between, and he’s willing to experience these feelings in the name of love. Progress can only be achieved by breaking the cycle, and this involves taking the difficult path of love if it makes life worth living.
For Qi Sili, love is not only caring about another person. It’s about accepting his emotions, and accepting himself as a human being because he has emotions. This character development softens his individualism by opening his stubborn heart to change, yet it doesn’t compromise his individualistic traits, instead strengthening and reinforcing them. He isn't abandoning his principles, because he is actually following and staying true to his own principles more than ever before.
So we've established that he is distinctly human, but what about his identity as a fox? In reality, following his heart is an act of honouring his original identity as a fox too. His natural instincts as a fox have always been to care. He never needed a reason, because humanity has always been a part of him. The ability to care and to love is not something that is only restricted to one group of people. In fact, this broadly applies to any traits in general.
Why protect this flower? He didn’t know. Not from meddling curiosity, nor from pity, but because he had injured it. (6* Card 长风吹彻)
It’s human to feel emotions, and it’s also human to rationalise reason. However, reason requires conscious thought, while emotions are purely instinctual. People don’t know why they feel the way they do towards something or someone, because feeling is naturally part of their humanity, whereas rules are merely socially constructed. People deny their humanity when they create boundaries that divide groups apart. People deny their humanity when they suppress their emotions. People deny their humanity when they don’t listen to their heart, keeping it bound by rules. To live is to listen to your natural instincts and follow your heart, because that also means accepting yourself as a human being.
The Humanity of a Fox: Qi Sili (Sariel) Character Exploration
This is the first time I'm posting on Tumblr in my entire life. I know there is barely a global Light and Night community and that virtually no one will read this but I wrote this out of pure love and passion haha (if anyone does actually read this post, I hope you have an amazing day, week, month, year, and that your gacha pulls are blessed). I've only started playing this year and have only read around the first year or so of content so my understanding may be outdated, and everything written here is my personal interpretation.
Translation for the quotes are all by @aishangotome ♡
PART 1: THE PAST
As someone who was born and lived hundreds of years as a fox before taking on a human form, Qi Sili had to learn and adapt to human behaviour. He was puzzled by all of the unwritten social rules and expectations that humans created for themselves and had to abide by for seemingly no reason other than to fit in. What was the purpose of all of these rules? What was the purpose of war, and what was the purpose of him being summoned to lead these humans into battle? So what, just because he was told that fighting in war was his life mission granted by the gods, he would simply accept it? No. Qi Sili has always been seeking for an underlying purpose to people’s actions, trying to make sense of why people do the things they do. He needs a solid reason to be able to accept something.
Human behaviour is confusing, but their reasons for waging war are also straightforward.
They want to own the land, so they build high walls. They want to go to more places, so they continuously wage wars. Once understood, humans aren’t difficult to comprehend. (6* Card 长风吹彻)
However, this straightforward line of reasoning still isn’t convincing enough to explain why people wage war. It doesn’t answer a few questions, such as, do humans really find satisfaction in endlessly conquering land, instead of prioritising human lives? Do humans really feel victory through defeat? Qi Sili experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows of humanity on the battlefield, witnessing friends who initially vowed to never kill ending up with blood on their hands. His friends didn’t feel victorious after killing; instead, he was witnessing them lose their liveliness with each life they took.
This was the first time I understood the difference between victory and defeat, life and death. Humans could not feel victory through defeat, but they could feel life through death. (6* Card 长风吹彻)
Killing people never evoked joy, but witnessing death brought feelings of grief, loss, and devastation. Human reaction to death reminded Qi Sili of how full of life his fellow soldiers were before they entered war. He didn’t want them to further lose their humanity and become a shell of who they once were. Instead, he wanted to protect these fragile, yet precious, hearts of human beings.
It’s precisely because he isn’t human, that he felt the responsibility to preserve others’ humanity. He viewed himself as a separate entity from other humans, therefore he took it as his duty to protect them by sinning in their place instead. For someone who has always been searching for a purpose, he immediately adopted this as his ultimate purpose in life. The problem is, he wanted to do this because he cared deeply for them. This fox had also learnt how to feel emotions, just like humans.
He only wished that these men wouldn’t lose all traces of themselves. If someone had to kill, he would be that person. If someone had to die because of it, he would be that person too. He would bear the weight of those sins, one by one, throughout his long life, until he was no longer himself. (6* Card 长风吹彻)
Everyone else around him eventually died, but he was immortal. As the sole survivor, he was the only one that could carry memories of his fallen comrades into the future, carry the weight of their sins, and fulfil the wishes and desires that they never got to see to themselves. He carried out these duties, ultimately fulfilling the purpose he was always searching for, but now he was left with a void of emptiness. A life without purpose wasn’t worth living, but as an immortal being, he couldn’t even die, no matter how hard he tried to.
Just like the soldiers he was committed to honouring who felt life through death, he felt the same pain thousandfold, and the source of this pain was his emotions. He may have originally been a fox, but what makes someone uniquely human? Their ability to feel emotions, whether it’s the pain of death, or loving and caring for others. This fox had also become a human, but he didn’t want to accept it. Human emotions were simply too painful to bear.
When he first took human form, Qi Sili thought the royal city was much more interesting than Mount Kunlun. People cried when they were happy, cried when they were sad, laughed when a new life arrived, and drank and made merry when someone departed. How strange. Once he understood them, he would feel these emotions too, he thought. He learned quickly. It wouldn’t be long. Qi Sili didn’t know that when that day came, he would wish he was still an ignorant fox. It was too late. A beast turned human could never go back. (6* Card 长风吹彻)
Since he couldn’t die even after multiple suicide attempts, he resorted to what seemed like the next best solution: escaping pain by chasing pleasure. In fact, his extreme sense of responsibility was so burdensome that it led to no sense of responsibility at all. By endlessly gambling and drowning his sorrows in alcohol, the pleasure he gained was through numbing his painful memories and emotions, bringing him to feel closer to death. However, these impulsive, hedonistic actions still never satisfied him, because they didn’t bring him purpose.
No matter how he tried to stimulate his senses with sights, sounds, smells, and tastes, they slipped away like running water, unable to linger in his empty heart for even a moment. (6* Card 见见春天)
He couldn’t continue with this unfulfilling lifestyle, so he felt like he needed to find something to be responsible for again. Perhaps abandoning his past and forging a new direction in life could bring him the sense of purpose he had lost… which brought him to pursuing fashion design.
PART 2: THE FUTURE
Perhaps I could create a brand, one that had nothing to do with the Qi Sili of the past, one that belonged solely to the new me. I named this brand Vesi. It represented not just new life, but also a sense of hope and longing. (6* Card 触目如故)
Qi Sili believed that the way to moving on was forgetting about the past. Seemingly, the more he moves forward, the more distant he can grow from his past. His newfound sense of responsibility is observed by him living a minimalistic and ascetic lifestyle, eating a simple and clean diet, and not overindulging in temporary pleasures like he used to. Forgetting his past is like following a ray of light, giving him hope for the future.
“Life itself is inherently unfair. Everything will have a result you have to accept. Surviving isn’t about redemption or reconciliation, but about forgetting.” (Main Story 7-21 Night Ending)
Notice how he says surviving, though? To survive is to forget, but is he really living? While losing his memories, he has also been degenerating and getting closer to death, yet he finds comfort in that. The ray of hope that he has been following is just leading him closer to his demise.
Despite this, he does indeed have a new sense of responsibility, which is reflected throughout his philosophy as a designer. He has maintained his strong sense of individualism and encourages the same freedom of expression in everyone else.
“Fashion is not for the purpose of standardising aesthetics or creating divisions between people, but rather to enable everyone to face themselves squarely and accept themselves. Everyone has the freedom to become themselves." (Main Story 1-01)
It’s ironic of him to say this though, because as someone who’s constantly running away from his memories, his pain, his emotions, and consequently his humanity, has he ever faced his true self yet? And as much as he advocates for freedom of expression, he also criticises MC’s designs for being too imbued with personal emotions to the point they lose their functional value.
“I don’t know why the personal emotions are so strong that it loses its significance as a hat itself.” (Main Story 1-16)
While he has always been interested in human emotion, he now believes that emotions hinder function. In the past, his strong emotions caused his hedonic downfall to the point where he was unable to function, so now he believes that emotions cannot exist healthily on their own apart from functionality. Yet again, this shows he has still not completely moved on from the past.
“Good works are a combination of function and aesthetics.” (Main Story 5-03)
He also believes that designers should be guided by function, manifesting in a distinct purpose. This purpose serves as an overarching structure that imposes limits so that one doesn’t impulsively follow their whims, emotions, or heart, at any given moment.
“The most important thing for a designer is to know why they are creating. Rather than daydreaming all day, thinking about how you can soar higher, perhaps you’d be better off first learning how to walk.” (Main Story 1-16)
Yet again, he continues to project his past experiences onto the future, since his past impulsive actions that were a result of running away from his heart left him devoid of purpose. Now he encourages emotional expression after functionality is guaranteed, showing that he at least is not completely dismissive of emotions, but this newfound purpose is still limiting the depths of his heart. He is still suppressing his emotions and consequently, himself.
Now, what does he mean by the idea that a designer should know the reason why they are creating? How exactly can a designer discover their purpose? In his eyes, purpose now means doing what feels right to an individual. He has always been individualistic, with all of his values stemming from his own heart, regardless of what other people think. He has always made sense of humans with his own reasoning, staying true to his own beliefs. Therefore, it makes sense that he encourages people to do what feels right to them, because he has always done the same.
However, this is again incredibly ironic because this mindset is actually limiting him. Remember how when he was first assimilating to human life in the past, he was puzzled by the seemingly meaningless rules and structures that humans would impose on themselves and others? He is now also one of those puzzling humans creating pointless rules and structures for himself thinking that it’s serving a higher purpose, when all it’s really doing is confining the extent of his heart. He continues to deny his humanity while being the complete embodiment of a human being.
He also claims that discovering this purpose, which entails knowing what feels right, comes from extensive experience.
“Designers create beauty to emotionally connect with the audience. But this beauty cannot exist apart from experience.” (Main Story 5-03)
He’s giving this advice to junior designers, those who have only just begun their professional career. There are people who copy his designs, and he discourages this behaviour because he believes that what feels right to someone is personal to every individual, meaning that people shouldn’t merely imitate someone who’s extremely experienced either. But where are they going to get this experience from, if they cannot start without experience? Maybe he has gotten it all reversed. Maybe people learn how to walk by following where their heart leads.
This is not to say that his long life experience of over three thousand years is not useful in any way. After all, he is a world-renowned fashion designer who creates works of beauty that are both functional and expressive, highly resonating with the public. Why do his creations resonate with people’s hearts, though? Through his wealth of experiences, he pours his endless encounters with humanity into his designs. This touch of human emotion is precisely what underlies the beauty of his designs.
I began my attempt to become an ordinary tailor. I poured everything I saw, all the dreams and stories others shared with me into my sketches, then brought them to life one by one. (6* Card 触目如故)
Now, let's take a couple steps back. Why would he choose to become a fashion designer in the first place, out of all the possible paths he could have taken? War and fashion design seem like they have nothing in common. They could even be considered complete opposites, as war involves death, while design involves creation, so becoming a fashion designer is akin to a rebirth for him. But for Qi Sili, these two fields are distinctly related, and are actually very similar. I absolutely love the quote below because I think it beautifully and ingeniously sums up his character in three sentences.
“When it comes to creation, the world often only cares about the result, but the path to that result is often fraught with thorns. Embarking on it will leave you bloodied, and completing it might leave you scarred. However, pure ‘beauty’ is often born from this bloodshed, so there’s nothing to fear.” (Main Story Chapter 1 触摸光芒)
This quote has multiple levels. On the broader surface level, it describes design as the aforementioned ‘beauty’ after the bloodshed. Design was the catalyst that allowed him to seemingly move forward from his past. However, on a deeper level, this quote also separately encompasses both the experience of war and the process of design, heavily paralleling each other in his experiences. In war, the ‘beauty’ after the bloodshed was the emotion he witnessed. The pain that was felt after death showed that people still cared deeply about each other. In design, the ‘beauty’ after the bloodshed is also emotion. People's dreams, stories, and experiences may have been difficult to bear, but they get to be brought to life and appreciated by other humans through works of art. Once again, what ties war and design together is emotion, and most importantly, they are threaded together by Qi Sili’s own humanity.
This parallel of war, which represents his past, and design, which represents the future, continues to show that while he believes he is moving forward, he still hasn’t actually moved on from his past. He has always been bringing to life the dreams of other people, first by fulfilling the wishes of his dead comrades after war, and secondly by breathing life into the stories of others through his designs. He heavily values individualism, and yet his purpose has always been tied to other people; honouring their hearts, but neglecting his own. He has made it to the future, yet he still doesn’t accept himself as human.
He has always been trapped in the illusion of moving on, stuck in an endless cycle of trying to discover a grander purpose and constructing a greater meaning, unable to realise that he’s still stuck in the past, chasing the future, and consequently losing sight of what’s right in front of him: the present moment.
PART 3: THE PRESENT
Qi Sili wants to move forward, but he wants to do this without change. He began to hate the idea of change after constantly witnessing his friends enlist and never return. If there was a way he could prevent these inevitable losses and allow things to always stay the same, he would. But the only thing that’s unchangingly guaranteed in life is death. It’s hard to control or convince other people who are all brimming with their own stubborn individuality, so the only thing he could do is hold this standard towards himself. He is also someone who is stubbornly individualistic. Just like the people from his past, he also refuses to change. Maybe it’s not out of his own individualism, but rather that he is still being led by other people’s agendas instead of following his own.
“There are plenty of people in the world who change. No need to look to me for that.” (6* Card 触目如故)
For this reason, it’s easier for him to not care about anyone. If he didn’t care about anyone, he wouldn’t have to experience the pain of losing them. If he had no one to lose, he wouldn’t be overwhelmed by his emotions. He has become emotionally reserved, cold and distant, someone who finds it easy to bluntly deliver harsh criticism but hesitant to be openly direct about his personal feelings. But deep down, he is still lacking the sense of purpose he has always been searching for.
If one day he woke up and there was no one left in the world that he cared about, would that still be considered living? (6* Card 触目如故)
Changes slowly begin to occur when he finds himself caring for MC. His heart can’t help but be swayed because his emotions have never disappeared, no matter how hard he tries to suppress them.
Qi Sili and MC have several different relationship dynamics with each other: immortal and human, idol and fan, mentor and student, boss and subordinate, gege and meimei. In each of these dynamics, he holds the position of authority. However, as observed by his extremely personal and biased views towards design, his views are not correct or incorrect, because they aren't objective truths. They are just as subjective as anyone else's regardless of their age, status, or quantity of life experience. Many of his views stem from beliefs that leaves him trapped in the past, and the MC, who presents an opposing outlook, adds infinite value to his life and expands his worldviews. Even though he has lived so much longer than her and has significantly more life and professional experience than her, there is still so much to learn from her, so much more to experience with her. She adds value to his life because the individual experience cannot merely be quantified by time, and striving towards her allows himself to break out of his self-sabotaging time loop. They both add value to each others’ lives because they stay open-minded towards each other’s differences, and yet they don’t have to be confined by labels such as immortal-human or mentor-subordinate, because rather than merely being different, they also recognise that they are fundamentally on the same level: simply human beings who are learning from and experiencing new things with each other every day.
Qi Sili has always hated unnecessary social constructs. He has never believed in these boundaries and labels created to divide people, the same type of meaningless rules and structures that lead to war. This individualistic mindset causes him conflict within his own Spirit Clan because he isn’t supposed to be so close to humans, but he doesn’t care. He has his own principles that he’ll always abide by.
“It’s ridiculous to differentiate lives based on race to begin with.” (6* Card 长宵无觅)
However, MC later finds out she’s from the God Clan. Qi Sili has never believed in gods, and this links back to why he was summoned to become a war general among human beings in the first place. As a fox, he was chosen by gods to go into battle because he was a spiritual being with strength and talent that most humans could not match. War was posed to him as his life mission, his true purpose. In reality, he struggled to understand the purpose of war, and why he needed to fulfil this duty when it wasn’t something he chose of his own volition. The control the gods seemingly had over his destiny only led to feelings of disdain. He never even believed in gods in the first place, despite being told they exist and were supposedly in control of his fate. Perhaps it’s because believing in gods is supposed to provide purpose to one’s life, but war did not bring him a sense of purpose; it emptied him of it.
His love for MC aligns with his love for humans, but his skepticism towards deities clashes with her identity as a god. His love for her doesn’t falter, though. On the contrary, his love gradually overpowers his sense of reason. He becomes so concerned for MC’s safety that he finds himself wanting to pray to the gods that he never even believed in to keep her safe. By letting himself care for someone else, he is ultimately caring for himself.
Qi Sili suddenly really wished to pray to the gods. For someone who hasn’t believed in gods at all, can they give him a single chance? He wanted to tell them that he regrets it now. He’s willing to believe in the presence of gods. He, too, wanted a good ending. (Main Story 13-23 Light Ending)
The unfortunate matter about loving a human as an immortal, though, is that he will outlive her and again suffer the pain and grief that he is incredibly used to but has always tried to avoid up until this point. It would require him to break down the barriers he has placed around his heart, leaving himself vulnerable to his own emotions. For the past three thousand years, Qi Sili has always been seeking purpose to his long and painful existence. But what’s the point of life if he cannot love? What’s the point of living if he feels comforted by death? The sense of purpose he rekindled through fashion design only allowed him to get back up and survive, but it hasn’t allowed him to truly live. What happens when he finds himself falling in love? His sense of purpose becomes shattered because he finds himself irrationally following his heart for no greater reason.
Perhaps this is what it means to change: listening to his own emotions without needing a reason, letting go of his incessant need to be passively guided by a grand purpose, and actively following his own heart wherever it takes him for the first time in his life. This is different from when he fell into hedonistic addictions in the past, because instead of upholding other people's wishes, he is finally prioritising his own.
Sometimes, you just had to follow your heart and do things that didn’t seem to make sense. No need for a reason, no need to care about what others thought. Because the reason was simply four words. I just like it. (Main Story Chapter 5 盛夏清味)
Love is an active choice that he’s finally willing to make not because it’s easy, but because it’s worth it to him. When choosing to love MC, he will experience loss and pain through her fleeting existence, but human emotions are the essence of living. This includes the joy, the despair, and everything in between, and he’s willing to experience these feelings in the name of love. Progress can only be achieved by breaking the cycle, and this involves taking the difficult path of love if it makes life worth living.
For Qi Sili, love is not only caring about another person. It’s about accepting his emotions, and accepting himself as a human being because he has emotions. This character development softens his individualism by opening his stubborn heart to change, yet it doesn’t compromise his individualistic traits, instead strengthening and reinforcing them. He isn't abandoning his principles, because he is actually following and staying true to his own principles more than ever before.
So we've established that he is distinctly human, but what about his identity as a fox? In reality, following his heart is an act of honouring his original identity as a fox too. His natural instincts as a fox have always been to care. He never needed a reason, because humanity has always been a part of him. The ability to care and to love is not something that is only restricted to one group of people. In fact, this broadly applies to any traits in general.
Why protect this flower? He didn’t know. Not from meddling curiosity, nor from pity, but because he had injured it. (6* Card 长风吹彻)
It’s human to feel emotions, and it’s also human to rationalise reason. However, reason requires conscious thought, while emotions are purely instinctual. People don’t know why they feel the way they do towards something or someone, because feeling is naturally part of their humanity, whereas rules are merely socially constructed. People deny their humanity when they create boundaries that divide groups apart. People deny their humanity when they suppress their emotions. People deny their humanity when they don’t listen to their heart, keeping it bound by rules. To live is to listen to your natural instincts and follow your heart, because that also means accepting yourself as a human being.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Because of Love MQ translation(2/4)
⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️
This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~
✧ Because of Love | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Be it 20% or 10%; even if only a faint 1% glimmer of possibility- at this moment, I greedily hope that tomorrow can be that one luckiest day of ours.
Translation under the cut!
[Video-Turn On CC!]
YouTube link in case the embed doesn't work [Link]
Previous Part=> [Click Here]
—[Chapter 3]—
MC: You saw them too, right? Those are precisely the red ribbons we tied back then!
MC: I remember we tied one ribbon first, then tied the other one on top of it. That's why the knot looks like that… Anyway, I'm sure of it.
MC: I never expected that they had neither been routinely cleared away nor worn down by wind and rain, but instead still hang there on the tree, perfectly intact…
MC: ...It's truly wondrous.
On our way back from the Matchmaker Temple, I'm still chattering away, relishing what just happened.¹⁴
The last wash of sunset glow tints the horizon a beautiful pinkish purple, its hue soaking into the damp stone steps.
Lucien doesn't say a word the whole time, just smiles as he listens to me.
Looking at those smiling eyes, I clear my throat a little, feeling slightly embarrassed.
MC: Alright, I admit that after years of absorbing your influence by osmosis, I've become a bit more realistic and pragmatic.
MC: [smiles softly] But we've experienced so many miraculous moments over the past two days… Like we're being watched over with fondness and blessed by grace. It's both wondrous and blissful.
MC: So I can't help but feel deeply moved.
Lucien: I know. That's why I'm relishing it too.
MC: Liar, that smile of yours looks like you’re teasing me.
Lucien: [chuckles tinged with grievance] Would I really be that mean?
Lucien: [smiles sincerely] I honestly just think you're utterly endearing. The world looks beautiful and full of wonder when seen through your eyes.
Lucien: It responded to your hopes and brought us miracles.
The evening breeze blows softly, and the world melts into a rustling expanse of tender hue.
Lucien: And ever since being with you, I keep encountering many illogical, low-probability events that call to be pursued and explored.
Lucien: Your existence has made me accustomed to miracles happening naturally.
Lucien: [softly] Isn't this miraculous?
Rather than a question, it feels more like he's marveling.
How could I not be lucky too—to be the curiosity of the one who's curious about the world, to be the exploration he longs to explore.
I can't help but rise onto my tiptoes and plant a soft peck at the corner of his lips.
MC: Alright, alright, I can't out-argue you. I give up.¹⁵
Lucien: That won't do.
He leans in, and his warm breath falls upon my squinting eyes and the tip of my nose, before finally coming to rest at the edge of my lips.
Lucien: [earnestly] Just let me be the one to admit defeat.¹⁶
The lights along the stone-step path light up one by one; the already long mountain trail grows slower beneath our pace, as if we tacitly wish to prolong this moment.
I gently shake our clasped hands.
MC: Speaking of which, have you still gone to the Matchmaker Temple by yourself again since then?¹⁷
⚠️'Since then' here does not refer to the 'Bound by Love' SP Mind Quest. Please refer to the [Translation Notes and Insights] for context. This clarification is critical as the date being referenced may not be released on the EN server for quite some time.⚠️
Lucien: No, I haven't. But I did visit Grandma Wen a while ago; she can vouch for that.
MC: Pfft, I never said I didn't believe you.
Seeing him explain so seriously, I can't help but laugh.
MC: Lucien, let's visit the temple together from now on.¹⁸
Lucien: Okay.
Lucien agrees almost without hesitation.
He doesn't ask me the reason, and only responds with an earnestness that makes it more of a promise than a reply.
I actually can't explain exactly what I'm thinking in this moment, or why I'd make a promise about something that doesn't seem to need promising at all.
Perhaps it's just because I'm walking with him like this that I unintentionally begin to freely imagine many distant things.
They all will happen naturally on some day in the future.
Somehow, I suddenly remember that promise.
It always lies deep in my memories, silent and still, yet deafening whenever I recall it.
I instinctively look toward Lucien.
When the weather is good, let's go fly a kite.
I think about it, and the memory alone makes my heart clamor.
The evening breeze brushes past the shrubs, sweeps over the hem of my skirt, and stirs the ends of Lucien's hair.
Perhaps I'm too deeply lost in thought; it's only when that profound gaze looks back at me that I sheepishly avert my eyes.
MC: What is it?
A soft chuckle falls on my ear, and Lucien smiles as he boops my nose.
Lucien: I admit it. I really like it when you look at me like this. In fact, I don't want to interrupt this moment either.
MC: [unamused] Humph, and yet you still interrupted me?
I figure he's probably teasing me again, so I just go along with what he says. But to my surprise, he ends up looking even more innocent.
Lucien: What if I tell you I have a good reason?
Lucien: There's a beautiful scene I don't want you to miss. Or rather, I want to experience it together with you.
As Lucien speaks, he takes my hand and steps down a stair, guiding my gaze forward.
The next second, I can't help but widen my eyes.
MC: ...Fireflies!
Scattered luminescence flows out unceasingly from the bushes, like sprinkles of stardust adrift before our eyes.
Drifting and floating, they converge into a swaying galaxy, like a gift from the gods.
Lucien watches the girl beside him, her smile blooming and the glow of fireflies leaping into her eyes. He can't help but smile too.
In truth, he's the one who should be grateful.
Without her, he himself probably wouldn't have seen such a dreamlike and beautiful scene.
And the moment his gaze shifts away from her, the world fades back into a photographic negative needing to be refocused.
So he instinctively tightens his grip on her hand, as if this way he holds not only her joy, but his own as well.
Now, he seems to have gradually learned how to hold onto this beautiful miracle.
What he said is true: the way she's made him grow accustomed to miracles and beauty is far more miraculous than any so-called coincidence.
He quietly watches the girl, watches her gaze turn toward him, watches her eyes brim with delight.
Lucien feels love.
He inexplicably thinks of this word, even though he still cannot define it.
It’s born alongside too many emotions; it makes him unlike himself, yet through him, it allows him to become himself.
Thump-thump, thump-thump.
His heart throbs uncontrollably. The feeling of his chest being completely filled, just like it was at the Matchmaker Temple, comes flooding back again.
They stood side by side, gazing together at the peach tree, which was covered with red silk ribbons.
Vast expanses of green and red permeated the world, as if becoming the only two fragments of color left. For a moment, he felt as though everything had reverted to a single hue once more.
Equally monotonous, yet so different from black and white.
The colors now had warmth and were tangible to the touch, making him unable to resist closing his fingers tighter around hers.
And this warmth enveloped him as tenaciously as a miracle. He couldn’t help but keep confirming, keep turning back, always looking toward the girl by his side who had brought it all into being.
How can I tell you just how miraculous you are?
Lucien thought to himself.
She tilted her head up, searching with unblinking focus, as if she would never back down or give up no matter what.
And he knows why she is so persistent and perseverant.¹⁹
He happens to be her persistence and perseverance.
Lucien's gaze lightly swept over the others beneath the tree. Though he couldn't know what was in their hearts and minds, he genuinely sensed similar emotions.
He, too, has someone who would naturally appear in his heart at this moment.
It turns out time can roll back, like the returning surge of a rising tide.
The flower that quietly bloomed in the depths of his heart has now blossomed into a form he had never foreseen, gently and steadily cradling his abnormally pounding heart.
The fireflies illuminate her, and they also illuminate his pain and obsession.²⁰
And yet, each increment of pain feels even more like the most solid proof transmitted from his heart.
It is as if the world is tenderly opening its embrace, welcoming its clumsy child to experience and enjoy the most touching and profound beauty of life.
He softly speaks her name, grasping with his own hands a certain kind of fate that belongs only to him.
Lucien: [gently] Tomorrow… let’s go fly a kite.
✂———————–
—📝[Translation Notes and Insights]
I like how the story is structured so that the kite isn't something he plans in advance because of a lucky day. Heck, the kite isn't even on their minds when they first hear about it. Instead, the idea of a "lucky day" pushes them to show their dedication to each other in parallel: she insists on finding the red ribbon, while he works tirelessly to catch a fleeting patch of sunshine. Both of them are collecting small pieces of luck for a future they can already sense but haven't yet put into words. And when persistence and chance come together, those little pieces of luck gently and naturally bring back the memory of the kite promise🥺
¹⁴: 回 (huí) means 'to return', and 味 (wèi) means 'taste'. Together, 回味 (huíwèi) literally means 'to return to the taste' and figuratively refers to savoring a past experience or emotion. What I mean by 'relishing' here is not just enjoying, but savoring in a thoughtful, gentle way like 'tasting' memories that linger.
¹⁵⁺¹⁶: MC's 投降 (tóuxiáng) is a term for formal surrender (e.g., in war). It's precisely the formality that makes its use in a daily context playful and theatrical, like declaring a dramatic defeat or waving a white flag LOL. Lucien's 认输 (rènshū) means 'to admit defeat' and is more personal and introspective. It refers to an internal acknowledgment of loss, often after a struggle. By choosing this word, he gently rejects her theatrical gesture to instead make a sincere and vulnerable concession, acknowledging that he is the one truly overcome🥺
¹⁷: The phrase "since then" in MC's line refers back to the Binding Knot Date, where Grandma Wen (also the same Grandma Wen from Chapter 9 who taught MC how to make a peace knot) pulls MC aside and reveals that Lucien has visited the Matchmaker Temple alone on several occasions. MC later confronts him about it, asking if he's encountered a problem that 'materialism' can't solve. Lucien admits he goes there to seek comfort regarding his relationship with MC, worrying that his mistakes might make her unhappy and wondering if he's not doing well enough. A 'materialist' who goes against logic for his beloved because matters of the heart are too complex to explain through reason alone… this reflects a key stage in his character development. This date also shows how much he pays attention even to their smallest quarrels, learning to see them as a natural part of being in a relationship. Anyway, MC's question here checks if he has resumed his habit of seeking solitary solace.
Binding Knot Date
¹⁸: By asking Lucien to visit the Matchmaker Temple together from now on, MC not only breaks his pattern of carrying worries alone but also turns it into a shared promise for their road ahead. The act itself carries cultural undertones, as visiting the temple as a couple is often tied to love and long-term commitment, which is why her thoughts naturally drift toward their future. And Lucien's simple, sincere "Okay" lands like a vow of its own, affirming her proposal🥺
¹⁹: While both 执着 (zhí zhuó) and 坚持 (jiān chí) can be translated as 'persistence', their connotations are different. 执着 (zhí zhuó) describes a state of mind, a deep, often stubborn or obsessive attachment to an idea, goal, or person. At the same time, 坚持 (jiān chí) focuses on the action of continuing to do something despite difficulties. It emphasizes steadfastness, endurance, and willpower in upholding principles, habits, or plans. MC's 执着 is her profound emotional fixation on Lucien, and this feeling is what fuels her 坚持, her unwavering effort and perseverance in their relationship. It's almost silly how they've become each other's embodiment of what defines them. Like for MC, Lucien is her persistence and perseverance; for Lucien, MC is his curiosity and quest.
²⁰: The term 沉迷 consists of two characters: 沉 (chén): 'to sink' or 'to be immersed in' and 迷 (mí): 'to be fascinated by', 'to be lost in', or 'to be obsessed with'. The literal meaning of 沉迷 is 'to sink into and become lost in a fascination'. It evokes someone willingly allowing themselves to be submerged and enchanted by something, to the point of losing their bearings in anything else. I use obsession to translate 沉迷 because it is a good approximation, but maybe it can't fully capture the sinking (沉) feeling, like this all-consuming, overwhelming absorption in her and his love for her.
✂———————–
—[Memory Sillhouette-The Night Before]—
Dark blue night spills across the windshield; streetlights sweep past within sight, transforming into flowing amber on the damp road.
I can't help but sneak another glance from the corner of my eye, catching a glimpse of Lucien's calm, unchanged expression.
I had thought that after his invitation, we would go buy a kite together.
But as we pass by several malls or supermarkets that appear to sell kites along the way, he shows almost no intention of stopping the car, and there is even a trace of inexplicable silence.
Could it be that he has already quietly prepared something without my knowing?
I can't quite make sense of it, but helpless against too many indescribable emotions flooding my mind, I don't break this silence either.
Any moment now, once we turn at the next intersection, we'll be home...
Lucien: MC, we're almost home.
MC: Ah… yeah, we are. What is it?
I subconsciously hold my breath.
Lucien: Want to grab a late-night snack at that food stall nearby?
MC: …Well, okay.
I stretch the corner of my mouth into a reluctant smile and agree, then immediately feel somewhat annoyed at my undisciplined emotions getting the better of me.
Perhaps it is because tonight is one of these recent nights when the rain has rarely stopped that the food stalls are bustling at this hour. Cooking smoke mingles with the damp air, steaming up into a hazy mist.
The savory aroma of barbecue burrows into my nose, and amid the leaping charcoal fire and the clinking of glasses, it sketches a clamorous, warmly human bustle.
Lucien and I simply order some food and sit down at one of the outdoor seats.
The night's temperature sheds the day's mugginess, soft and fresh as if rinsed clean by rain.
Lucien: The weather forecast says there’s about an 80% chance of rain tomorrow.
MC: Pfft… So that's what you were looking at all along?
From those deep-set eyes, a sliver of resignation seeps out without the slightest concealment. Lucien sets down his phone, naturally peeling a shrimp and placing it into my bowl.
Lucien: Fortunately, there's still a 20% chance.
MC: [smiles softly] Why does it sound like you're cheering yourself up, Professor Xu?
Lucien: Was it that obvious? I was clearly trying to come off a bit more nonchalant.
He speaks with feigned gravity, his half-joking tone making us laugh in unison; yet I faintly sense the emotions concealed within it.
The night wind blows gently, the lamplight at the shop entrance softly melts into the puddle on the ground, forming a fuzzy-edged moon—
—as if it too illuminates the thoughts weighing on my heart.
Be it 20% or 10%; even if only a faint 1% glimmer of possibility- at this moment, I greedily hope that tomorrow can be that one luckiest day of ours.
I hope tomorrow will be good weather.²¹
After we finish dinner and return home, Lucien heads straight into the bathroom.
On this night no different from any other, it is I who finds myself a little absent-minded.
While thinking over the matter of the kite and worrying about the change in weather, I push open the bathroom door with my change of clothes in hand, just in time to see Lucien taking off his shirt.
Lucien: …..
MC: ……
MC: ...Y-you haven't showered yet? Then hurry up, okay?
I babble incoherently with awkward laughter, slam the door shut in one motion, then shake my head hard, trying to jolt my muddled mind a little clearer.
Immediately after, I hear two light knocks coming from the other side of the door.
Lucien: If you're in a hurry, I can let you go first.
Lucien: Of course. I'd also be very happy to leave this time for us to share together.
MC: Stop teasing me, just hurry up and get in!
Lucien: [chuckles] Then I'll be quick.
Soon, steam infused with the scent of body wash wafts up, and my face belatedly grows a little warm.
Hugging the clothes to my chest, I sit down on the sofa and subconsciously glance out the window again.
Maybe it's just a psychological effect, but ever since finding out the forecast, I find myself constantly paying attention to the 'weather'.
The muffled thunder from the distant horizon, the water droplets shaken loose from the tree branches by the wind, even the gurgling of water coming from the bathroom at this moment...
Each one keeps magnifying in my ears and before my eyes.
And weirdly enough, this state lingers on and off all the way until just before I fall asleep.
Listening to the steady breathing of the person beside me, I suddenly feel a bit unsure whether he's actually asleep or not.
My continuously sinking consciousness is tugged at by scattered, trivial thoughts, as if caught in an intangible tug-of-war.
I don't know how much time has passed. Amid the hazy daze, I hear the sound of raindrops falling.
✂———————–
—📝[Translation Notes and Insights]
²¹: The way that line is precisely the same as what MC said back in 神山之约 (Sacred Mountain Date Official Translation | Fan Translation )🤧 These are the same emotional gesture: MC clings to a sliver of possibility despite the snow, wind, and rain with both the Golden Mountain and the flying kite being symbols of improbable fortune…
Sacred Mountain Date
Thinking about it, their relationship is inextricably tied to luck, isn't it? From their first love token being iridescent, a symbol of (rainbow) luck, to the golden mountain, then a game in his 2024 Birthday in CN server, where it's only when he gives himself a bit of luck that he finally meets her, even if it took him 500 years.
Lucien's 2024 Birthday Karma Phone Call
Meeting her in the first place is perhaps his greatest stroke of 'luck' that even if it brings him pain and destruction, he accepts it not as resignation but as devoted willingness, that he'd choose it again and again, no matter the cost.
7th Anniversary - Final Day
Still, it’s essential to recognize that it isn't luck alone that keeps them together. Just as Joshua/Zeng Shu's research required years of effort before that small stroke of luck arrived, Lucien insistently tries to tailor luck for her, and MC just as persistently seeks out the red ribbon they tied together years ago to hold onto their destined bond, the story makes it clear that although luck is a theme, their meeting, their effort to keep being together through learning and understanding how to open their heart and love each other, and later the fulfillment of the kite promise are never just mere chance, but something shaped through intention, persistence, and deliberate choices that wait for a little bit of luck to come.
[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Because of Love MQ translation(4/4)
⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️
This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~
✧ Because of Love | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
We run on the grass like two children, holding onto the string, tugging and pulling it together—
The kite finally soars into the sky.
Translation under the cut!
[Video-Turn On CC-Part 5 start from 57:00]
[Video-Turn On CC!]
YouTube link in case the embed doesn't work [Link]
If you haven't listened to the dubbing yet, please, PLEASE do this time! The words themselves are beautiful, but the voices and bgm bring them to life in a way that makes your chest tighten and your heart ache sob sob.
Previous Part=> [Click Here]
—[Chapter 5]—
The sky is seamless and blue, as if it has been washed clean, with a few wisps of cloud fluff floating by. Tender shoots of green grass brush the back of my neck and the rims of my ears, bringing a warm, ticklish sensation.
Sunlight spills down, blooming into a rainbow halo in my vision; I can't help but lazily lift a hand to shade my eyes.
Lucien and I lie head-to-head on the grass, the earth beneath us sending up faint tremors, as if enfolding us within the world's breathing.
Following my example, Lucien also stretches out his arm. His fingertips gently hook mine, and his low voice tickles in close, spilling out a trace of amusement.
Lucien: Is this now the second step of our kite-flying lesson?
MC: ...This student, please refrain from questioning your teacher.
MC: Proper rest and adjustment are indeed an essential step in the learning process!
Lucien: Hm, Teacher is right.
MC: [the way his expression suddenly turns cunning as she cluelessly says this LOL🤣] But why is it the second step?
Before the words have even left my lips, the man beside me rises and leans in, those long, narrow eyes glinting with triumph.
The next moment, a warmth wrapped in the scent of fresh grass falls upon my lips.
His loosened bangs brush against my eyelids, lightly tickling, yet I can't bear to close them.
After pulling back slightly, I mutter with feigned sternness.
MC: Student, you're sneakily switching concepts!
Lucien: Is that so? I thought it was called 'applying what I learned to master it'.
MC: Your eagerness to learn is really strong right now, isn't it.
Lucien: After all, you've already taught me so much in this course. It's only right that I work harder.
He speaks frankly, and there's indeed an air of humble eagerness to learn in his demeanor.
I roll onto my side to face him, resting my head on my arm as I gaze at him earnestly.
Sunshine falls behind him, framing the kite he still cradles in his hands in a soft halo of light.
It clearly hasn't moved, but it seems as if it has already taken flight.
I have imagined this very scene so many times and daydreamed about the us of now. It feels different, yet somehow not so different.
I can't help reaching out to lay my hand over his chest, as if this simple act alone could touch that heart laid open to me.
MC: Do you know what we’re learning right now?
Lucien shakes his head.
MC: We're learning to get accustomed and to wait.
He doesn't say a word, only looks at me deeply.
MC: When it started raining early this morning... I did feel a little disheartened. But strangely enough, I wasn't really surprised.
MC: Perhaps it's because when it comes to flying a kite, all kinds of unexpected things always come with it, like a test left to us by fate.
MC: Or perhaps it's that we both hope the day this promise is fulfilled will be special enough, so we never bring it up lightly.
MC: I wonder if we have bestowed far too much upon it, so much so that it grows heavier and heavier.
MC: As time passes, I seem to have grown accustomed to its 'postponement', yet remain utterly certain it will arrive in the end, and so waiting has become second nature.
His gaze on me wavers ever so slightly, and I vaguely sense the pulsation beneath my fingertips unintentionally quicken.
Lucien: Why didn't you bring this up before?
His voice is soft, yet it makes me fall briefly silent.
Yeah. Why didn't I take the initiative to bring this up before?
It was clearly a promise belonging to both of us. Clearly, either of us could have taken the first step.
Maybe it is because it's too special.
In that stretch of bittersweet memory, I don't know whether I should solemnly take it up or naturally hold it tight just then.
Should my tone be calm and even, or should I reveal an expression of wholehearted joy?
So whenever I think of this matter, I always feel a bit hesitant. It's because it is too deeply treasured that it's approached so cautiously.
And so, just like that, year after year, it follows us forward, watching us change and grow.
Like a shadow that accompanies us, it becomes part of us.
Even now, I find no fitting reason to explain it.
Lucien: Because I used to be afraid.³⁰
Lucien suddenly speaks, answering the very question he asked me.
He lifts his hand and catches my fingertips, gently tightening his hold.
Lucien: When I'm far away from you, the deeper my love for you grows. The closer I am to you, the more I feel I'm still not enough.³¹
Lucien: Not honest enough, not courageous enough…
Lucien: Not real enough.³⁰
He says while raising that kite.
The snow-white paper surface is now stained with a slight muddiness; the pink ribbons bound to it flutter as if whispering something.
When I saw it placed with care in the entryway before we left, I knew then that this was not a hastily prepared kite.
Yet I had absolutely no idea when it had already been in our home.
As if he has seen through my heart, Lucien's gaze also falls toward the kite.
Lucien: I probably prepared it a long time ago and recorded many moments.
Lucien: Every time I felt I was one step closer to completing this, I would tie a knot on this kite.³²
As he speaks, the ribbons happen to flutter up, their refracted colors streaming into my eyes, making them grow slightly warm.
Lucien: They are both my honesty and courage, and also my hesitation and wavering.
Lucien: It's like an unsolved equation. Before a new answer emerges, it reappears time and again, compelling me to explore it over and over.
Lucien: It makes me confront it all the time and reflect on it again and again.
Lucien: But MC, I've never forgotten this promise.
His eyes unhurriedly settle back on me.
Lucien: In fact, there were many moments in the past when I would often think of it.
Lucien: And whenever I think of it, I distinctly feel a kind of change.
Lucien: One that feels like roots taking hold and buds sprouting.
Lucien: It spreads bit by bit, until it fills my entire heart, until it bursts forth in vigorous growth.³³
My fingertips, guided by him, wander across his chest, as if sketching the scene he described.
Scorching pulses pass through his skin into mine, and my heart resonates in response.
For the moment, I don’t know what to say; I can only try hard to slow my breathing, afraid that the scene before my eyes will become blurry in the blink of an eye.
Lucien: This feeling makes me happy and satisfied, yet I greedily want to keep it all to myself.
Lucien: So it turns out I'm this much of a cowardly and selfish person.
The world becomes a hazy wash of brilliant colors. I lean in, eyes shut, and press a kiss against his eyes.
MC: Fool.
MC: You've already come to be completely certain that, no matter how cruelly you dissect yourself, I can accept all of it.³⁴
MC: How can you still call yourself cowardly when you're so certain and confident?
MC: Obviously it's me who doesn't know what to do with you.
Lucien: Then just always worry about me.³⁵
Lucien: Before you teach me more, I hope I can become the subject you will forever study and explore.
The soft pads of his fingers brush affectionately past the corner of my eye, then cradle my face with utmost care.
At this very moment, my heart and eyes are wholly filled with him. In his gaze, I can distinctly see my complete self, the vast sky, and the swaying flowers, grasses, and trees.
I suddenly realize something and immediately pull Lucien to a sitting position.
MC: Lucien—
Lucien: The wind is rising.³⁶
We run on the grass like two children, holding onto the string, tugging and pulling it together—
The kite finally soars into the sky.
It rides the wind, passing through my countless imaginings and anticipations, glides past light and shadow, and comes to rest in the azure sky.
Its edges are both vague and clear. It appears so simple, yet also seems so surreal.
I feel as if I’m also being gently lifted, like that tiny kite, but I can only see with blurry vision.
When the kite flies up into the sky, Lucien feels that he has seen such a scene before.
Through the long years after the promise was sealed with a pinky swear, he has seen it in his dreams.
But the teardrop that slips unbidden from the corner of the girl's eye, rolling onto his fingertips as she smiles, is something he has never seen in those dreams.
Scalding and profoundly heavy, it seeps its way into his heart, filling him with a sense of fulfilled wholeness and making him feel at peace.
Lucien: ...Don't cry.
His warm fingertip brushes over my eyes, letting them trace his outline again and again.
Lucien: MC, the weather is very good today— even if it isn't spring, it's still very good.
Lucien: And I... have walked step by step until I arrived before you.
Lucien: Our kite has flown up.
It is as if he, too, is now struggling for words, no longer able to find any phrasing that can fully articulate or thoroughly explain this distant and drawn-out road.
So he can only tighten his arms. His kiss replaces his fingertips, replaces words, replaces everything.
This kiss is far too tender and reverent. I close my eyes, yet it’s as if I see his countless countenances.
Gentle, indifferent, sad, aggrieved, smiling… until at last, they all merge into the face of the person before me.
Just like his kiss, obviously so endearingly moving, yet in the moment of my instinctual retreat, it assertively pulls me back to his side.³⁷
I’m deeply entangled in him—no longer able to escape, unable to leave.
I open my eyes and fall into those serene, profound pupils, seeing all the solemn sincerity and love within them.
MC: I…..
Lucien: I love you, MC.
Lucien: I love you.
He draws closer to me; there is no longer any hesitation or doubt in him.
Lucien: [kisses] Even if I still haven't understood the full meaning of love, even if I am such a slow student of yours.
Lucien: But in this moment, I know… I love you.
He repeats tirelessly, yet each utterance is so different.
Love is such a simple and yet complex feeling. At this moment, I realize it cannot be assisted or replaced by any words.
Whenever it is mentioned, I can see Lucien and myself on this long, long road.
MC: Then do you know my answer?
Lucien: I know.
Lucien: Because... I've felt love.
He gently lifts the corners of his mouth and simply gazes at me quietly, as if gazing upward in reverence.
I cup his face in my hands, trying to see him more clearly.
MC: Lucien, I love you.
We don't let such beautiful and gentle weather go to waste.
————FIN———–
—📝[Translation Notes and Insights]
It’s just perfect how the kite string loops around the ring finger of his left hand once their promise is finally fulfilled... because that's exactly where a wedding ring is traditionally worn by the groom;-; Coincidental, as if the world itself is acknowledging his commitment; with MC is the one holding the string, the one tethering him, grounding him, but also letting him fly—she becomes both his restraint and his freedom.
³⁰: Remember what I said in the date guide about the 7th anniversary being full of Chekhov's guns? Here's another one firing! In the 7th anniversary story, Lucien teasingly asks the MC if she wants to hear him say "I'm afraid" (害怕 / hàipà), and she shoots back, asking if there was anything else he didn't dare do. Now he finally says it in earnest: "因为我曾经害怕" (Yīnwèi wǒ céngjīng hàipà / "Because I used to be afraid"). And some of those fears, the things he never dared to do before… this whole story becomes his answer ;-;
7th Anniversary - Day 2
³¹: When he's far from you, the deeper his love for you grows; yet when he draws close, he's afraid he's not enough to show just how deeply he loves you. It’s not that his love is not enough or falls short, but that he doubts his own ability to love and even himself. Afraid that he's not honest enough, not brave enough, not… real enough. That last line with its use of 真实 (zhēn shí, genuine, not fake (authentic), and also factually consistent with reality (real/existing)) is striking because on one level it’s a callback to the 7th anniversary when he confessed that she’s what makes him real and be his authentic self, allowing him to continue 'existing'. But it can also be read as him breaking the fourth wall, feeling afraid that he's not real enough for us.
7th Anniversary - Day 4 and Final Day
³²: This is our eighth year together, and if you see the full art of the pre-evolve CG, there are exactly eight ribbons tied to the kite in the CG… Has it really been here all this time, ever since he made that promise? Even after everything that happened at the end of Chapter 13, did he still choose to immediately buy it, holding on to the hope that they’ll really fly one someday? I can’t help but wonder, when Lucien bought the new kite again in Season 2, did he quietly add the ribbons from his Season 1 memories after getting his memories back? Turns out this kite has been silently accompanying them through all the years, bearing witness as their love quietly grew for eight long years….
Perhaps buying a kite is easy; what's difficult is finding the courage to fulfill that promise, the courage to choose to love someone even when you know it won't be perfect or 'fitting', when love is complicated and can be nearly impossible to express in its entirety. Maybe that’s why the old kite itself is so precious. Each ribbon marks a step in his long, hesitant journey toward being ready and certain to love; it records and treasures the messy process, showing that it’s precisely this imperfect, human becoming that makes love real.
³³: Lucien and MC's narrative progression with the plant-growth metaphor is honestly a stroke of genius🥹—what begins as a seed (the heart-throbbing/infatuation, bringing instinctive joy and happiness, fulfill their desires) gradually grows and bears flowers (love itself, something more profound and more enduring than fleeting happiness or a fluttering heart, where the beloved’s happiness becomes more important than satisfying one's own desires), and from there, love also gives rise to other human emotions intertwined with it (pain, fear, greed, hesitation, but also satisfaction, courage, persistence and tenderness) ultimately taking root and sprouting buds (signifying both vitality and anchoring, something that continually renews itself and turn their bond to be a lifelong one). So love for them isn't just something fleeting, but about love evolving through stages, becoming more complex, fertile, and enduring over time.
From The Heart/Heartfelt Love Date
Devotion/Deepening Love Date
Also! The recurring theme of words is inadequate when it comes to expressing the depths of love. Instead, feelings are conveyed through the body, through touch, through heartbeat. For someone who usually relies on intellect and speech, Lucien's choice to abandon words and let his heart speak reveals both vulnerability, growth, and the rawness of his emotions. It shows his recognition that the heart can express truth more honestly than any rhetoric ever could.
On Fire/Wild Fire UR MQ + 7th Anniversary
³⁴: 你已经完全确认,无论你对自己进行多么残忍的剖析,我都能接受了 (You’ve already come to be completely certain/fully confirmed that, no matter how cruelly you dissect yourself, I can accept all of it.) is an echo of the 7th Anniversary, where he does become certain that no matter how ruthlessly he analyzes himself, or what choices he makes, she will always choose to walk toward him and embrace everything that he is. She isn’t trying to fix him, nor is she afraid of the darker or more complicated parts of who he is. Instead, she shows a mature, steady kind of love—the kind that fully sees someone, flaws and all, and stays anyway.
7th Anniversary - Day 4
³⁵: I translated it as worry, but in a romantic context, 烦恼 (fán nǎo) implies a deeper, more persistent state of thoughtful preoccupation and tender concern. It's not the usual "I'm scared something bad will happen" kind of worry (that would be 担心 dān xīn) as it’s more of a kind of soft, constant emotional entanglement where someone lives in your head and in your heart rent-free. That line as a whole is a vulnerable and slightly possessive confession, like he's asking her to never stop caring, overthinking, loving, and being tenderly troubled by him and his complexities.
³⁶: 起风了 (The wind is rising) is the same line from their VERY FIRST date, firefly date. The contrast in how Lucien feels each time he says it, as well as the progression of their relationship, is just so ༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽. The repetition of 'The wind is rising' bridges the beginning of their story to this moment, showing just how far Lucien has grown through his connection with her. In the Firefly date, he uses the line to reference the French poem "The Graveyard by the Sea" by Paul Valéry. Back then, seeing the weak fireflies made him think they won’t live long because survival of the fittest is all he’s ever known. But earlier in this MQ, when he sees the fireflies glowing around them, he doesn’t see survival – he sees wonder, through her smile and joy, through the fireflies' glow in her eyes. From once viewing the world through a detached, almost fatalistic lens, to now holding onto beauty and learning how to cherish it, he’s no longer just surviving and observing life. He's living it. Because of her. Because of love.
Fireflies Date
³⁷: 惹人爱怜 (rě rén ài lián) literally means 'causes people to feel pity and love/affection.' It describes someone/something so endearing that you can't help but want to love and protect them. I like how this phrase is used in this context; it highlights the tender, vulnerable quality of his kiss while contrasting with the firm assertiveness that keeps her from retreating. It also reminds me of his prison AU number 0525 (ling wǔ èr wǔ), which can be read as "怜我爱我" (lián wǒ ài wǒ), literally meaning 'pity me, love me'.
—✨[Lux's afterthoughts]
Seven years is a long time. Long enough that I started to wonder if maybe they'd never fly that kite. That perhaps it was something meant to stay unfinished until they reach their happy ending at the end of the game. But looking back now, I think it was just a matter of waiting for spring to arrive. Just like he once said back in Season 2 Chapter 13, "Spring isn't necessarily just a fixed time.", maybe it's not spring as in the season but the spring in his heart. It took him years to reach this point. Through the seventh anniversary, when he revealed the black-and-white world and the colors she brought to it, when he confessed how love had brought him fear and courage, pain and comfort, and ultimately, a sense of being real. Through Because of Love, when he finally let go of hesitation and bared his entire heart without any reservation. Only after all of that could the kite finally rise.
And maybe it's perfect that it happens in summer, because it's a season full of rainy days, where on some days they have to chase after the miracle of a 20% chance of sunshine, just like the kite, something they'd been trying to fly for years, always held back by timing, circumstance, and its heavy meaning. It emphasizes the struggle and the long road they took to finally make it fly, making the moment it soars feel like something far more than a simple scene. It's the culmination of everything he had endured: his insecurity, his fear, his yearning, his pain. He had to walk a long and difficult path before he could finally stand before her with frankness, look into her eyes, and say, "I love you. My heart chooses to love you." (Because of Love after-evolve karma's line)
Of course, even after he found the courage to ask her to fly one, actually flying the kite wasn't easy. When it wouldn't rise, he kept running back and forth, as if sheer effort could replace the missing wind. She called out directions, and he followed, but you could still see that he was trying to shoulder everything by himself, continually adjusting the kite experimentally. Watching this genius fumble so earnestly, my tears wouldn't stop. Such a fool, unwilling to give up, reluctant to lean on anyone. It wasn't until she signaled him to rest that he lay back in the grass, the string falling loosely around him like a soft embrace, and whispered, "Teacher, I am a slow student." And that was the moment he turned to her. Not just about the kite, but about the two of them. Admitting his vulnerability, letting her in, allowing himself to be guided… because only when you show all of yourself can you be thoroughly cherished and loved, right? And she answered with the same sentence he said years ago: "But I can't do it alone."
And that's it, isn't it? Love isn't a solo endeavor. Neither is fulfilling a promise to fly a kite. Honestly, the kite is such a brilliant metaphor for love itself: it needs effort, patience, timing, a little luck, and the delicate balance between restraint and freedom.
And one of the things I love most about XMMC's love is that it's a bond built from nothing, where looking back, you can trace every step as they grow together. Maybe the yearning was light at first, just curiosity toward someone who could have remained a stranger. But over the years, it grew heavier because their bond was something they had to choose and rebuild again and again, despite fear, hesitation, and obstacles. Their whole story is a reminder of how fragile and miraculous love can be. Luck gave them the chance to meet, but it was their choices that kept it alive. The yearning never ends because every moment of happiness carries the awareness that it all could have slipped away, and the only way to honor that miracle is to hold on tightly and protect it with everything you are.
Once they opened their hearts to each other again and stopped hiding, revealing the reason why it took so long to fulfill this promise, the wind began to blow. The kite soared as they held the string together. Beneath it, he said "Don't cry" with such gentleness (which actually makes me cry even harder ༼;' ༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽), kissing again and again, repeatedly whispering "I love you" under the sky we all had waited years for. Because in the end, there were no other words that could capture this long, arduous journey better than love. That day wasn't just a sunny day. It was a day filled with all the love they had fought so hard to understand. Seven years of waiting. Seven years of growth. And finally, this promise was fulfilled.
From kites to fireflies, from red ribbons to red threads and even kite threads, from luck and miracles to love that's like a seed—love that makes people greedy, love that makes people afraid—so many things about this date instantly make me think of the long road we’ve walked together. I could go on forever, but I'll stop here. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading. This story means the world to me, and I can't put into words how much it means to finally see this moment come true after everything.
This post contains a detailed spoiler for a MQ that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~
✧ Because of Love | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
"But the weather forecast says it’ll be rainy in Loveland City for the next few weeks, so what can we do?"
"Maybe we could make a few teru teru bozu and hang them up?"
"It’s over. All the rationality and logic of my great scientist have slipped away. That won't do, I've got to catch them and bring them back."
"Just let them go. Right now, all I want is to have a sweet dream with you."
Translation under the cut!
[Guide on Important dates and stories to read before Kite Date]
What I love most about this date is that it's not a standalone story, but rather the culmination of seven years' worth of growth. Before diving into this translation, I highly recommend reading or brushing up on his past dates, or at least checking out the ones in the guide I've put together. Each one is either directly referenced, emotionally echoed, or (at least in my opinion) thematically important to this story~
👉 See the complete guide here: [Date + Stories Guide]
At the very least, if you’re a casual reader from the global server, I really recommend checking out Sharinluna’s Fireflies Date Analysis, along with the 7th Anniversary, Bound to Love SP, Heartfelt Love Date, Deepening Love Date, and Binding Knot Date.
[Video-Turn On CC!]
YouTube link in case the embed doesn't work [Link]
I'd really appreciate it if you could check out the YouTube video—the dubbing and BGM choice are just perfect accompaniment to the tears. And no need to head back to Tumblr for the T/N this time since I've added them directly into the video!
[Transcript]
—[Chapter 1]—
Lucien: You will encounter your luckiest day of the year this month.
Lucien: [his expression turns into a smile] .....When you feel that a certain action needs extra good luck and support, please heed the voice of your heart and enjoy the energy of the universe.
Withdrawing his gaze from the phone screen, Lucien looks toward me with a smile.
Lucien: [chuckles] Looks like our answers are the same.
MC: …Really? So magical!¹
I delightfully hold my phone and move closer. The two connected screens clearly display the same deck of cards with the same guiding words.
Lately, several colleagues at the company have been keen on looking into metaphysics, so I pulled Lucien along to have some fun after dinner today.
Even though I know I should regard public fortune-telling with rationality, the "mutual understanding" born out of random probability still brings a sweet delight to my heart.
I shift into a more comfortable position and nestle up to his side, even shaking my head in satisfaction.
Lucien: [chuckles] Does this make you so happy?
MC: Because it's a coincidence, it's very easy for this kind of just-right sense of destiny to hit you right in the heart~
Lucien: Then I'd rather understand it this way. It's because we're becoming more and more alike now that we've made the same choice.
Lucien: Rather than fate's arrangement, I'd rather attribute it to you.
MC: Professor Xu's 'theory' indeed sounds more reasonable, I especially resonate with it~
I smile as I rest my head against his shoulder, my fingertip unconsciously tapping at the screen.
MC: [smiles softly] But no matter how I look at it, this set of cards is just too perfect. It kinda feels like I've already been hit by good luck, and that just makes me look forward to it even more.
Lucien lets out a thoughtful 'mm', but it doesn’t feel like a response. I turn my head in puzzlement, seeing him looking back at the text on the screen as if he's scrutinizing it.
I just made a casual remark, this person wouldn't actually be seriously studying it now, would he?
MC: Lucien, I...
A sudden kiss completely devours the words I haven't yet spoken.
His broad palm cradles the back of my head, pulling my lost balance back into his arms.
Our pressed skin stirs up a faint, restless heat, and his unbroken kisses surge like the tide, leaving me only fleeting moments to catch my breath.
It isn't until it suddenly starts raining outside, its soft patter mixing with the hum of the air conditioner, that he finally puts some distance between us.
Rainwater covers the condensation on the windows once again, a scene that seems to repeat countless times throughout this rainy season.
As if he notices that I am about to 'call him out'², Lucien innocently blinks his eyes and taps on the screen with righteous confidence, bringing up the previous page—
"Don't be stingy in expressing your love to your partner."
Lucien: I just wanted to experience the feeling of being struck by good luck too.
MC: Pfft, now you're the one getting superstitious.
Lucien: After all, I also have things I want to look forward to.
As we chat, the phone screen dims, and only the heart-shaped lamp on the bookshelf remains lit, blending the two of us curled up on the sofa into its dreamy, romantic glow.
Trivia: The heart-shaped lamp is their gift from 7th anniversary! If you haven't read it yet, please do bc their theme are connected 🥺
As the rain beats noisily, I suddenly feel like teasing him and brush my foot lightly against his.
MC: But Professor Xu, we're facing a real-world problem right now.
MC: According to the card reading, to enjoy the energy of the universe, we need to experience nature and soak up plenty of sunshine.
MC: But the weather forecast says it’ll be rainy in Loveland City for the next few weeks, so what can we do?
Lucien: Maybe we could make a few teru teru bozu³ and hang them up?
When he finishes speaking, he starts laughing first, which makes me laugh too as I cup his face in my hands and gently knead it.
MC: It’s over. All the rationality and logic of my great scientist have slipped away. That won't do, I've got to catch them and bring them back.
Lucien: Just let them go.
Lucien takes the opportunity to hold my hand and pulls me down onto the sofa, wrapping me fully in his embrace.
Lucien: Right now, all I want is to have a sweet dream with you.
As he speaks, he tightens his arms around me, making me nestle my head even more snugly against his chest.
In my haze, I hear Lucien speak.
Lucien: MC, your anticipation won’t be in vain.
Lucien: Though I don't know what exactly will happen then, I believe the entire universe will come to help you.
Lucien: And when that time comes, do remember to give me good luck and support too.
✂———————–
—📝[Translation Notes and Insights]
¹: 神奇 (shén qí) is the key term of this story; it is a two-character compound word made up of two words: 神 (shén - literally "god" or "divine”) and 奇 (qí- literally "strange," "rare," "unusual”). It refers not just to unexpected phenomena, but to events and maybe even presence that feel uncannily perfect, fated, or deeply moving, almost as if the universe has ✨aligned✨ just for you. In this translation, I will translate 神奇 as words like magical, wondrous, or miraculous, depending on the context, and I will color the word purple wherever it appears to emphasize its thematic significance.
²: The idiom used for that description is 兴师问罪 (xīng shī wèn zuì), which literally means "to mobilize troops to question a crime." 兴师 refers to raising an army, while 问罪 means to hold someone accountable for wrongdoing. Compared to just accusing sb, it's more dramatic and has that sense of righteous authority LOL. Here, it's used playfully as she’s about to pretend to make a big deal and confront Lucien for kissing her without warning~
³: "Teru teru bozu" (てるてる坊主) or known in Chinese as 晴天娃娃 (qíng tiān wá wa-literally means clear sky/sunny day doll) is a small handmade doll crafted from white cloth or paper and hung by windows to pray for sunny skies. For someone like Lucien, who typically relies on data and logic, his willingness to hang some not only shows the care he puts into preparing even the smallest details beyond his rationality for her happiness, but also reveals a growing, softer side of him that's learning to embrace wonder and hope no matter how irrational it may seem 🥺
P.S. Did you know LovePro also has a teru teru bozu avatar frame? It's a reward from a general event, but I just had to mention it-
✂———————–
[Exclusive Radio- Lucky Day]
—📝[Context Notes]
The person he is speaking to is the same Zeng Shu (曾抒) from last year's summer 海不再遥远 SP (The Sea No Longer Far Away/Seaside at Last SP- Official Translation | My Translation) Exclusive Radio. Though in the official localization, there was a mistranslation where Lucien asks him, "Aren't you a recent graduate?", whereas in the original, Xu Mo actually said that Professor Zeng isn't a recent graduate, which is why he was confused about why such a senior professor with extensive experience would suddenly want to withdraw from the project.
As for now, from the CN Server 2024 100 Days Countdown Event, Xu Mo's diary revealed that he eventually returned to the project.
Anyway, since the official localization refers to him as Joshua, I’ll stick with that naming convention. Similar to how I translate Xu Mo as Lucien Xu in my own translation, I’ll translate his name into Joshua Zeng.
✂———————–
Lucien: Professor Zeng? Is something the matter?
Joshua: My apologies for disturbing your rest.
Joshua: I called because I have some good news to share with you.
Joshua: First, the project I've been working on made a major breakthrough today. I believe the following steps will go much more smoothly.
Lucien: That's great. Everyone must be really happy, right?
Joshua: Yes, we were even afraid it might be a false reading, so we specifically ran multiple rounds of cross-verification.
Joshua: We've been running calculations since midnight, and it's only now that we’re certain that there's no issue.
Joshua: Looking back now, I realize it really has been a long time since this project was first launched…
Lucien: Mm, this is the project you brought into my lab.
Lucien: Just counting the time at the Bioscience Research Center, it's been about three years.
Lucien: If we factor in the time you spent doing independent research beforehand, it's roughly been… about seven years?
Joshua: Seven years and eight months.⁴
Joshua: There was a time I thought I might have to wait a few more years before I could see any progress in the experiment.
~~Note: I felt the same way about flying a kite, but here we are.~~
Joshua: It seems I'm still quite lucky after all.
Lucien: Congratulations to you.
Joshua: [Laughs] Thank you for your congratulations. After all, maybe in a few more years, we’ll be able to publish papers under the name of the Bioscience Research Institute!
Joshua: In any case, let's organize the data again.
Joshua: When you come to the research center next week, we will discuss the specifics in more detail.
Lucien: Alright. If there's no rush over the next few days, let the researchers in the team take some appropriate time off as well.⁵
Lucien: Everyone has been working hard lately.
Joshua: Will do. I noticed that while we were waiting for the data just now, a few of the young folks were already planning to go see the sea.
Lucien: [chuckles] Then I'll be waiting to approve everyone’s leave applications.
Lucien: But you said "some" good news just now. Is there any other good news?
Joshua: So here's the thing. Didn't you submit two papers?
Joshua: I got the news today that both papers were accepted.
Lucien: Hm? I thought the reviewers would raise a few more rounds of feedback.
Joshua: Yes. So as soon as the news came in today, Xiao Luo was overjoyed; he even asked if I wanted to go with him to fulfill his vow.⁶
Joshua: I don't have the energy to run around with him, and I'm not much of a believer in that sort of thing…
Joshua: Still, today really is worthy of being called a 'lucky day.'
Lucien: [murmurs] Lucky day…
Joshua: What did you say just now?
Lucien: Ah, it's nothing.
Lucien: It's just that I think people occasionally do need a little bit of good luck.
Joshua: [laughs] After all, most of the time, aren't our preparations and efforts precisely about waiting for that tiny bit of luck to come knocking?
Lucien: Then it seems today is the day luck comes knocking.
Joshua: Sure is!
Joshua: Oh, and also, we're planning to have dinner together next Wednesday to celebrate.
Joshua: If you have time, feel free to bring your significant other with you.⁷
Lucien: Alright, I'll ask her about it later.
Joshua: Then I won't bother you any further.
Joshua: Wish you a pleasant weekend. Goodbye.
✂———————–
—📝[Translation Notes and Insights]
⁴: By July 2025, when the Kite SP card was released on the CN server, “seven years and eight months” is exactly how long the game has been out since the server’s initial launch, so it also marks seven years and eight months since we first met Lucien according to the in-game timeline, seven years and eight months… since the start of his study of love (5th Anniversary). This little detail makes it feel as if this date had been planned from the very beginning ;-; or at the very least, it's a touching callback to the long road we've shared and how we've finally arrived at this point together🥲 Just as he said in the card’s line:
"When we arrived, we walked a long way to get here, so there's still a long way to go."
It’s been a long road, and there’s still a long way ahead~
⁵: Aww, I love it when growth from earlier stories carries over and shows up in later ones. Look at this guy’s development compared to 海不再遥远 SP (The Sea No Longer Far Away/Seaside at Last SP). He went from someone who didn’t understand the value of rest (for himself or others), to someone who not only understands it now but even suggests it for his team🥺
The Sea No Longer Far Away/Seaside At Last SP
⁶: If you ask a god for help or make a wish to them, you're expected to return to that god's temple or statue to express your thanks once the wish comes true. This act is called 还愿 (huán yuàn), which means fulfilling a vow or repaying a spiritual promise.
⁷: While 家属 (jiā shǔ) literally means family member, it's different from 家人 (jiā rén) as 家属 (jiā shǔ) often implies a legal or formally recognized familial relationship, someone legally acknowledged as part of their household, such as a spouse or dependent listed in official records. That said, it's vague enough in spoken Chinese to refer to a long-term, committed romantic partner. "Significant other" is the best translation here because it captures both the formal implication and the romantic intent (still, if you introduce someone as your 家属, people will likely assume you're cohabiting or married, or soon to be).
✂———————–
—[Chapter 2]—
The air after the rain carries a touch of dampness, overlaying the lush greenery with gentle hues.
I steal a glance at Lucien beside me. He gazes calmly into the distance, but the relaxed curve of his brows and eyes quietly gives away the particularly good mood he's in.
My heart suddenly softens, as if delicate ripples spread over its innermost core, making it feel both warm and ticklish.
An hour ago, I received a call from Lucien saying he'd pick me up, and then he drove me to a park on the outskirts of Loveland City.
Lucien didn't explain much on the way. He didn't say whether he happened to be passing by or came on purpose, only mentioning casually that there was a place he wanted to go.
But I'm vaguely certain that this probably isn't a spur-of-the-moment act.
=[Flashback Start]=
Be it his unintentional sigh at a red light or the slight acceleration of the car, all of it told me he was racing against time.
The world flowed between clarity and blur with the sweep of the windshield wipers. My curiosity gradually coalesced into anticipation.
I hope whatever he's so urgently trying to do will come true.
As the car came down from the overpass, layers of green flooded into my view. In a trance, it felt as if I could hear nature breathing.
I think I know what Lucien is going to do.
=[Flashback Ends]=
As if to confirm the somewhat vague guess lingering in my heart, the rain stops five minutes after we park the car and walk into the park.
The coincidence guided by invisible hands feels especially romantic, and the instigator, too, seems satisfied with this outcome, making me unable to resist curling the corners of my lips.
MC: This almighty professor can even control the weather now.
Lucien: If I want to reach that level, I'm afraid I still need to make further efforts.
Lucien: But winning the race against the clouds does make me happy.
He speaks frankly, the tail end of his tone brisk, with even a hint of childlike satisfaction as he gently rubs my fingertips.
Seeing him like this, all I feel is fondness, and I feel happy too.
So I simply don't want to ask or to probe how he has done all of this.
It doesn't matter whether he's using scientific theory to run simulations and make predictions, using some powerful Evol, or really making a teru teru bozu in secret.
This brief period of clear sky that he has cherishingly placed in my hands is the only thing that matters.
Thinking this, I firmly clasp his hand.
MC: So it turns out my 'universe' is right here. Then I have to hold on tight and enjoy the energy he brings.
Lucien: Is it that exaggerated? Then I can't help but feel proud.
MC: It absolutely isn't an exaggeration, I'm just really happy.
Lucien: Being the reason for your happiness is the best thing that could happen to me.
Lucien: Since the weather is so nice, let's walk a bit more.
Sunshine streams through the gaps in the heavy clouds. Yet, I feel an inexplicable profound fullness, as if I’ve been thoroughly bathed by the sun.
The fresh fragrance of grass brushes past my face, mingling with the scent on Lucien’s body. As it flows along our interlocked palms, it feels as though I’ve also been dyed with the same scent.
We just keep chatting like this as we circle around the park in a big loop. It’s only when we reach the far end opposite the entrance that the rain starts to fall again in a fine, steady drizzle.
While considering whether to have dinner nearby and wait until the evening rush hour ends before slowly heading home, two slightly hurried footsteps suddenly emerge through the patter of rain.
I reflexively look toward the sound and see two red figures swaying into view, like vermilion bleeding through a patch of mist.
A couple dressed in wedding attire walks briskly past us, arm in arm under an oil-paper umbrella, and enters an inconspicuous stone-step path off to the side.
Despite their hasty steps and the way their fragmented conversation dissolves into the rain, I always feel as if I can see their smiling faces and hear their beautiful prayers.
In that fleeting moment of trance, it feels as if two similar figures cross time and overlap before my eyes.
I belatedly withdraw my gaze, turn my head, and notice that Lucien's line of sight also stops at the end of the verdant expanse.
Lucien: Looks like… we've walked to the vicinity of the Yue Lao Temple (Matchmaker Temple).⁸
Lucien: It's just that we usually take the main road over there.
Following the direction of his finger, I take a closer look. At last, I catch a glimpse of something familiar and catch a faint whiff of sandalwood, dampened by the summer rain.
Lucien: The temple should still be open at this hour. Want to take a walk around?
MC: Eh?
Lucien: I think a certain young lady would like this kind of coincidence.
That pair of beautiful brows and eyes curves up slightly; the way he says this sentence makes it feel more like an invitation.
MC: Mm, I like it.
MC: But it’s not just the coincidence that I like.
I smile as I extend my pinky and hook it around his fingertip.
MC: Maybe Old Man Yue Lao missed us, so he guided us along this invisible red thread and brought us here.
There aren’t many visitors on rainy days. After lining up to make an incense offering and pay respects to the Matchmaker God, we find a pavilion and sit down.
Dense drizzle trails along the edge of the eaves and drips onto the stone steps, while bronze bells hanging from the pavilion corridor seem suspended in ethereal silence.
Time slows down. In the distance, blue-gray smoke merges into the rain mist, casting a hazy shadow beneath the pale daylight.
I sit side by side with Lucien, listening to the rain and watching the little orange cat sleeping soundly in the corner.
MC: I wonder what the kitten is dreaming about.
Lucien: Maybe it's chasing a butterfly.
As if it hears the humans talking, the little cat suddenly twitches its ears. Then it shifts its position, squints its eyes comfortably, stretches out its paws, and sprawls its belly open.
Lucien: [chuckles] Looks like it caught it.
While speaking, he naturally interlocks his fingers with mine, making my eyes curve in fond amusement.
A branch of the peach tree in the backyard peeks into view. The wind stirs the red silk ribbons at its tip. Though they make no noise, I seem to hear countless beautiful and romantic sounds.
MC: Lucien.
A sudden, slightly out-of-the-blue question comes to mind, and I gently scratch his palm.
MC: Do you think the red ribbons we tied to the tree before are still there?⁹
As if not expecting me to ask this, he hesitates for a few seconds before speaking.
Lucien: I'm curious too. [chuckles] Let's go, who knows what kind of answer the world will give us.
✂———————–
The peach tree is as tall as the one in my memory. It gently holds up countless red ribbons, overlooking these stories and participating in their happening.
There are people closing their eyes and devoutly making wishes. Some are tiptoeing toward the tips of the branches to tie red ribbons, and others are solemnly putting pen to paper at the nearby wish-writing table.
Time moves forward in silence, giving birth to countless changes, yet it also seems to leave behind some things that never change.
How strange, I've clearly been to the Matchmaker Temple several times before, but standing under the tree like this, it feels like it was already a long time ago.
I can't explain why it's today of all days, perhaps I simply want to take a look.
The peach tree, along its swaying shadows, still sheds unceasing water droplets. They glide along the ribbons, falling one after another as though in reply.
The rain has stopped again without our noticing. Fluttering ribbons replace sunset light buried in the clouds, lifting a heart-stirring flush of red.
Pulling Lucien along, I tilt my head up and circle the tree back and forth, my whole vision filled with swaying red.
Vivid red, hazy red, faded red—these are the heart-pounding colors on lovers' cheeks as they offer prayers and wishes.
After looking for a long time, it feels as though an afterimage has been seared onto my retina. I rub my eyes, and when I turn my head, I bump into a gaze that’s been fixed on me the whole time.
I feel embarrassed under his stare and reach out to poke the tip of his nose.
MC: Do you think I'm being a bit childish?
Lucien: Of course not.
Lucien: I was also seriously looking just now. It's just that...
He leans down, pressing close to my ear, and whispers.
Lucien: The elderly gentleman at the wish-writing desk seems to have taken us for strange folks. He's been glancing our way on and off several times.
Lucien: Honestly, I was just thinking about how I should explain to him if he got really curious and came over to us.
I blink and peek out from beside Lucien. Sure enough, I see the old gentleman he mentioned watching us with a cautious look on his face.
Imagining how we must look to others, I smile embarrassedly.
MC: Let's just say we're making a TV show and doing on-site research? Or maybe gathering material?
Lucien: [chuckles] Do we really need such a formal reason?
Lucien: I rather think the Matchmaker God would prefer our most genuine intentions.
Lucien smiles as he tucks a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.
Lucien: My beloved has a heart that is both pure and romantic. She wishes to take hold once more of the happiness and destined bond that belong to us.…¹⁰
Lucien: And I hope her wish will be fulfilled.
His voice is not loud, yet it carries a certain weight of cherishing care and heartfelt earnestness. Heavily it lands upon my heart, slowing and magnifying everything.
Thump-thump—a sound.
Thump-thump—another follows close behind.
I instinctively look back into those deep eyes and see all the colors in the world merging within them. Even the swaying, flowing red is wholly dyed in his color.
Through those eyes, I seem to have found what I have been searching for all along.
✂———————–
—📝[Translation Notes and Insights]
⁸: It’s the same Matchmaker Temple they visited years ago in 不负相思意 SP (Bound by Love SP) Mind Quest. This temple is dedicated to Yue Lao (月老), also known as the Old Man Under the Moon, a deity in Chinese folklore who presides over love and marriage. The myth of the red thread of fate originates from him. He is said to connect destined couples with an invisible red thread, binding their fates together. Though the thread may stretch, tangle, or twist, it is said to never break, symbolizing a bond that defies time, distance, obstacles, and even death~
⁹: In temple tradition, couples tie red silk ribbons onto sacred trees, symbolizing the red thread of fate used by Yue Lao to bind destined lovers. This act is a prayer for eternal union and divine blessing. Lucien and MC follow this custom at the Matchmaker Temple in 不负相思意 SP (Bound by Love SP) Mind Quest. In traditional belief, when two people tie their red silk ribbons together on a sacred tree, it signifies “以树为媒，天地作证” — taking the tree as matchmaker, with heaven and earth as witnesses to their union. This transforms their simple act of tying ribbons into a sacred vow, witnessed by the universe and divine worlds.
A Love Not In Vain/Bound by Love SP MQ
¹⁰ : The original line is 我的爱人有一颗纯粹又浪漫的心,她想回握住一份属于我们的幸福和缘分...…There are three terms that I want to highlight:
我的爱人 (wǒ de àirén) literally means "my loved person"/"the one I love" (我的 = my/mine; 爱人 = love + person). From the 1950s to the 1990s in Mainland China, 爱人 was the common word for spouse. Today, it may sound somewhat old-fashioned and sentimental in daily speech, but it still conveys a long-term commitment, carrying the sense of 'the person I'll love for my whole life.' It can be translated as 'my beloved' in emotional contexts, but if you use it to introduce your partner (as Lucien does in other dates), people will assume you mean a spouse or at least a lifelong partner.
While I translate 幸福 (xìng fú) as 'happiness', it carries a deeper nuance than momentary joy. Unlike other happiness-related words such as 高兴 or 开心, which describe fleeting emotions, 幸福 refers to a lasting sense of fulfillment, contentment, or well-being, often tied to love, family life, or long-term emotional fulfillment. So the 'happiness' that MC wishes for leans closer to 'a blessed, fulfilling, and content life' rather than a temporary happiness🥺
缘分 (yuán fèn) is a concept rooted in a synthesis of Buddhist, Daoist, and Confucian thought. It refers to a predestined affinity that brings people together, yet also implies personal effort to maintain and deepen that bond. Linguistically, it consists of 缘 (yuán)— the karmic condition or circumstantial force that allows people to cross paths; not decreed by gods, but arising from causes and conditions (including past actions even in past lifetimes), and 分 (fèn)—which signifies voluntary effort, personal choice, or one's 'share' of the relationship. Unlike the passive Western notion of 'fate', yuánfèn encompasses both cosmic serendipity and human agency. I think translating it as 'destined bond' better captures its layered meaning: a relationship brought forth by unseen forces, but sustained through mutual intention and care.
✂———————–
—[Memory Sillhouette-Tailored Luck]—
Even though he had already sat down in the driver's seat, Lucien still couldn't help but take another glance at the tablet screen before starting the car.
The tablet had been remotely connected to the computer in the laboratory and was currently transmitting radar echoes, short-term forecasts, and various meteorological data to him in real-time.
He specifically applied for temporary access from the meteorological research department, obtained partial data, and used it in combination with the Meteorological Administration’s technology to create a simple climate simulation model.
Considering that the closer it is to the target time, the more accurate the weather forecast becomes, he further increased the frequency of data refresh.
In fact, Lucien's goal was simple: to do everything possible to ensure he could truly 'capture' that brief window of clear sky during this extended rainy season.
That way, he could naturally share what felt like a destined bit of 'good luck' with her.
But when it came down to it, his 'Sunny-Weather Capture Plan' had actually been in effect for three or four days.
The last time he predicted the rain would stop, he had just gotten ready to head out when the weather suddenly turned against him, and the plan had to be called off.
The time before that, he had caught a window between rain clouds, but was unfortunately held up by an unexpected meeting.
If he missed the chance again this time, the next brief spell of sunshine wouldn’t arrive until the following week.
He had to admit, tailoring luck in a field he wasn't very familiar with turned out to be a bit more troublesome than he had imagined.
The lingering drizzle wouldn't stop, and of all times, a red light brought him to a halt again.
After a fleeting glance at the tablet and confirming the model again, Lucien's eyes drifted toward the low-hanging clouds, and he let out a soft sigh.
Lucien: [sighs] ...I should still make it in time.
He had always considered himself fairly patient, yet now, he found himself lightly tapping the steering wheel again and again.
The image of the girl’s smiling eyes flashed through his mind, followed by the plans he had prepared.
Lucien tried to tell himself that even if he didn't make it in time for the sunny weather, it didn’t matter. He had made thorough preparations anyway—
If it still rained, there was an umbrella with a jellyfish pattern in the trunk, which would most likely make her light up with delighted surprise.¹¹
Or he could simply turn the car around and take her to the plum garden he had booked to taste the freshly brewed plum wine.¹²
If all else failed… he could still pretend that he merely happened to be passing by because of some coincidence.
He would just drive her home, listen as she shared glimpses of her workday, and then, together, choose a movie suited for a rainy day.
He had crafted every possible contingency plan; each one certain to please her. But...
Lucien: [murmurs] If only the sky would clear up for a little while.
Lucien: Just a brief moment would be enough.
When it comes to things related to her, he always wants to be a little greedier.
Even this elusive luck, he longs to grasp it in his hands, polish it into a glittering gift with his heartfelt intentions, delicately adorn it with surprises, wrap it all up, and hold it out before her eyes.¹³
And receive in return her eyes instantly lighting up as she beams and throws herself into his embrace.
He smiled and sighed, not knowing whether this was the hundredth time he had gazed at his tablet during this stretch of time that was neither long nor short.
The model's predicted result remains unchanged; it still indicates that the overcast rain will briefly pause in an hour and a half.
This time, he didn't wait any longer. He lit up his phone and dialed her number.
Lucien: It's me. Is the shoot going well?
Lucien: Actually, I'm currently on my way to the set. I'll be there in a bit…
The green light turned on, and Lucien stepped on the accelerator again, moving forward along the lane.
Heading toward the clear sky belonging to him.
✂———————–
—📝[Translation Notes and Insights]
Look at it moving gently and slowly, just like his-
¹¹: This is more of a trivia than a serious insight, I just find it really cute that jellyfish is one of the animals associated with him~ It appears as… ahem… euphemistic imagery during his 2023 flower banner. They also appear in the 2022 Lovepro X Shining Nikki Collab, his 2024 White Day R karma, and the 2023 summer event, where he purchased three Moon Jellyfish for their summer café. It is also creatively used again in euphemistic writing, as they do ‘this and that’ in the said café.
¹²: The plum wine is not just a sweet random idea and rather a direct callback to 山野之约 (Wilderness Date) - Official Translation | Fan-Translation, the one date where they pick green plums and taste sweet, spicy, and sour homemade plum wine in the summer of 2021 🥺 Probably just a small detail, but I want to point it out, because it makes it feel like every moment from the past matters, like all those memories, no matter how small they seem, shape who he is today, and how he continues to treasure them.
¹³: The way that line strongly echoes what MC said back in Sweet Dream Date (which, in the CN server, takes place in summer 2024) makes me want to cry (இ﹏இ`｡) He’s really someone who pays such tender attention, quietly cherishing every little fragment of her, even things that she doesn't say, polishing them with his heart then treasures them, and present them back to his beloved as if the universe itself had a hand in them. Every gift from him carries special meaning, and they are the very proof of his sincerest love for her🥺
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Because of Love MQ translation(3/4)
⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️
This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~
✧ Because of Love | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
I move forward to meet him, embracing him tightly in my arms.
"Fool."
Scent of rain-drenched grass wraps around me, welling in my eyes and seeping into my heart, moistening them both.
Translation under the cut!
[Video-Turn On CC-Part 4 start from 40:00]
YouTube link in case the embed doesn't work [Link]
Previous Part=> [Click Here]
—[Chapter 4]—
I’m still a bit dazed as I walk into the park.
The humming of the early morning downpour still echoes in my ears, while the lingering moisture in the air has quietly evaporated in the sunlight.
Though it's not yet noon, the blazing sunshine tears through the clouds and slants downward, spreading across the vast green shade. Like a frozen scene, only the clamorous cries of cicadas remain.
I feel my whole body heating up, and for a moment, I can't tell whether it's from the sun or from the warmth in my heart.
As I sneak a glance for the umpteenth time at the kite in Lucien's other hand, he suddenly gives my hand a slight squeeze.
Feeling caught, I hurriedly raised my other hand to fan myself.
MC: With the sun so blazing now, who would've thought it was pouring just this early morning?
Lucien narrows his eyes slightly, a meaningful smile playing on his lips.
Lucien: [teasingly] It turns out a certain little lady really was awake at that time.
MC: …..
MC: Since you put it that way, Professor Xu… that means you weren't asleep either then.
Lucien: Oh, so you really have been awake the whole time too.
He leisurely draws out his sigh, making me feel even hotter. So I huff twice and deliberately purse my lips.
MC: If I had known it'd turn out like this, we might as well have chatted and tried to get sleepy together.
Lucien: Then I'm afraid we really would've ended up pulling an all-nighter.
MC: Why's that?
Lucien: After all, in moments like these, I always seem to have so much I want to say to you.
He speaks candidly, making me feel that no matter what he says, I won't be able to refuse.
MC: Then I'd only feel very happy.
Lucien: Can just this alone bring happiness?
MC: Of course, because I got to hear your heart.
I lead Lucien by the hand toward the lawn deep in the park, passing puddles at our feet and a tree strewn with fallen blossoms.
For a while, neither of us speaks, and my heart grows very quiet.
Then I hear Lucien speak.
Lucien: [indifferently looks afar] Actually, when it started raining before dawn, I felt uneasy, defeated, and dejected. Even…
Lucien: [turns his head to you and smiles softly] Anticipation.
His voice sounds softly, causing me to subconsciously soften my breathing as well.
Lucien: I can't help but think, perhaps my invitation was too sudden.
Lucien: I should have given it more thought, or rather, done some more preparation. At the very least, I should've checked the weather forecast before inviting you.
He shrugs his shoulders with a smile, and I follow suit, lifting the corners of my mouth. But his joking line inexplicably scratches at my heart, making it itch.
Lucien: Failure is the norm if one insists on advancing a difficult experiment under uncontrollable conditions.
Lucien: But unfortunately, cognition and choice are not always aligned.
Lucien: The thought that my impulsiveness might cause your expectation to come to nothing leaves me somewhat unwilling to accept it.
As he speaks with sincerity, I suddenly realize why the person lying beside me would be so silent when the rain poured like a torrent.
MC: Ah, people really are so different from one another.
MC: While Professor Xu reflected on himself when he couldn't sleep, I thought about nothing at all.
Hearing my exaggerated sigh, Lucien turns toward me with keen interest in his eyes.
Lucien: Weren't you worried?
MC: If I had to put it into words, later on I kept feeling like… none of it mattered.
MC: Whether it's a magical rainy-day kite that exceeded expectations, or the two of us waiting together for the clear skies to arrive.
MC: Maybe we'll make a promise for the next time the weather is nice, or maybe you'll take me somewhere even farther away, to a place full of sunshine. What words would you say to me then?
Lucien: "The world is a vast place—not everywhere is caught in rain."
I blink a few times, then laugh together with him.
MC: Professor Xu, have you 'rehearsed' this response too?
Lucien: I’m simply in the habit of preparing for all kinds of hypothetical scenarios.
MC: Then, did our Professor Xu spend the whole night rehearsing hypotheticals without sleeping properly?
Lucien: I fell asleep after the rain stopped, and I slept very well.
Lucien: Because what I had been anticipating happened.
MC: Was it the rain stopping?
Lucien: It was a miracle.
Lucien: After the rain, I began to anticipate a miracle.
Lucien: They heard how devout I was, so the whole world came to help.²²
As Lucien speaks these words, dappled light happens to leap onto his brows, the corners of his eyes, and the tips of his hair, making his eyes sparkle brightly.
Lucien: MC, right now I feel that today might just be our luckiest day of the year.
His brows and eyes curve with a smile, making no attempt to hide just how happy he is. Being gazed at like this by him, my eyes can’t help but grow hot.
MC: It's all my fault. I shouldn't have dragged you into those superstitious activities.
Lucien: That's right, you'll have to take responsibility.
As we speak, a vast lawn comes into view, emerald green spreading as far as the eye can reach, appearing supple under the sunlight.
Nameless little flowers dot the grass, and heaven and earth are condensed into dewdrops on the branches and leaves, like a world held in stillness.
It truly is good weather today.
The only thing is that it's too still.
✂———————–
Lucien: …..
Lucien comes to a stop, his chest involuntarily rising and falling faintly.
Under the scorching sun, his repeated running causes him to sweat lightly, and his bared skin is also tinged with a faint flush from the heat.
Lucien: [gasping for breath, then speaking stubbornly] …I'll try again.
After finishing his words, he places the kite onto the grass, continuously tugging at the spool as he moves backward, then starts jogging again.
I promptly follow in his footsteps.
MC: Lucien, move a little to the left… no no—your left!
MC: …Wait, don't pull the string yet!
He follows each instruction, but the kite's clean paper surface only sweeps over the grass again and again, the pink ribbons tied to it like strands of fish lingering and swimming among the blades.
Yet it never once lifts from the ground.
After grazing past a few small flowers, it struggles on before eventually coming to rest in the grass.
Lucien stops once more, his back-turned figure somewhat silent.
He keeps his head lowered, his thoughts unreadable to me; the ribbon dangling from the kite quietly brushes his sleeve.
I instinctively quicken my steps in his direction. Only when I draw near do I realize his gaze rests intently on the kite.
His lowered lashes quiver faintly, as if in thought and as if listening to something.
Lucien: Just now, I confirmed the real-time wind speed, wind force, and air humidity.
Lucien: But…
He lets out a soft sigh, brows furrowed as he murmurs.
Lucien: Although the current wind force is insufficient to lift the kite, theoretically, my running speed should be adequate…
Lucien: Is the kite not light enough, or is its structure unstable?
As he speaks, his fingertips brush along the skeletal frame inch by inch. Lifting the kite slightly, he turns it toward the light to examine the paper surface closely.
Finally, he even takes out his phone's flashlight, shines it, and observes the kite's connection points with meticulous care, as if he is calibrating some precise laboratory apparatus.
I can't help but find him rather adorable, so I just stand quietly to the side, watching him study this 'flight apparatus'.
It turns out that this person really doesn't know how to fly a kite.
Lucien: MC, I know where the problem is.
I blink, waiting for him to go on.
Lucien: This kite has been stored away for too long.
Lucien: Even if properly stored, the paper surface will still show minor dampening and instability in its balance.
Lucien: Perhaps while holding it, I can adjust the angle a bit, tilting it about 8 degrees to the left.
MC: [sweating]…….
Lucien: [chuckles] Let's try again.
Before I can open my mouth to stop him, he's already tugging the string and starting to run, his arm raised high.
After being launched, the kite sways unsteadily, floats for just a moment, then falls back onto the grass.
The string in his hand drops down. Lucien merely glances back once, then turns and sprints off again in another direction.
MC: ...Such a stubborn fool.
I no longer stop him, just watch with a smile as he keeps repeating the same motions.
Again and again, over and over, like walking on a track he is unfamiliar with and not in the least skilled at.
Unwearied by the trouble and tedium, vexed yet full of anticipation.
Until the fine sheen of sweat dampens his shirt, outlining his slender frame, and at last he stops.
From afar, Lucien gazes toward me.
Even though I cannot see him clearly against the light, I still seem to hear his voice.
So I spread my arms wide toward him.
He walks toward me step by step, and finally even breaks into a run.
I move forward to meet him, embracing him tightly in my arms.
MC: Fool.
Scent of rain-drenched grass wraps around me, welling in my eyes and seeping into my heart, moistening them both.²³
The head resting atop mine gives a slight nod, as if in acknowledgment.
MC: Let's rest for a while.²⁴
A muffled reply falls. Lucien releases me and lies down on the grass.
The unwound kite string loosely encircles him, wrapping him into a colorful and tender embrace.
Soft strands of his hair are brushed aside by the breeze, revealing a pair of eyes uncharacteristically at a loss.
Perhaps even vast and intricate experimental data will not deter him; yet, at this moment, a kite trips up the genius's steps, causing him to inadvertently reveal a flicker of childlike vulnerability.
He tilts his head up to look at me, gently closes his eyes for a moment, and lets out a sigh as if defeated.
Lucien: Teacher, I am a slow student.²⁵
Lucien: I can't even learn something this simple.
MC: Who says this is simple?
I refute him without hesitation, making those beautiful eyes widen momentarily.
I can't help but feel my heart soften. I crouch down over him, cup my chin, and look at him carefully.
MC: It's complicated.
MC: It needs patience, it requires skill, and it also needs the ability to observe and weigh things thoughtfully.
MC: It even requires just that little bit of extra luck.
A few flower stems cast faint, swaying shadows on his face, making him lower his lashes as if to escape.
The kite is loosely held in his hand, one corner drifting up lightly with the wind, then pulled down by him again, like a heart restlessly eager yet unwilling to yield.
I gently hold the kite string, which hangs down at his side, watching it wind and coil between us, like gazing down at a small river flowing through one another.
MC: Bond and freedom are inherently contradictory. It’s difficult to strike a balance, isn’t it?²⁶
Wind on the ground billows the thin, light clothing. I look up toward the source of the 'small river', only to meet Lucien's thoughtful gaze directly.
Lucien: Yeah, it’s difficult.
Lucien: Seems like in moments like these, I'm always somewhat flustered and a little clumsy.
MC: Do you not want me to see?
Lucien: [chuckles] No, that's not it.
Lucien: I'm glad you saw all of this.
Lucien: It’s just that I can’t help but wonder if the one pulling the thread was you… Then maybe this matter wouldn’t be so complicated.
His fingertips tap, seemingly inadvertently, on the spool handle before they tentatively reach toward me.
He's talking about flying a kite, yet it's not just about flying a kite.
MC: But I can't do it alone.²⁷
Smiling, I shake my head at him, leaving him stunned for a moment.
MC: This is our promise; only when we fulfill it together does it hold meaning.
MC: Lucien, I can't do it alone.
MC: Just like love, this is a matter of two people.
Cicadas' cries drift from afar, and sunlight bathes the world, exposing its colors into richer, more variegated hues.
Lucien: MC, on one hand, I want to let you lead all of this, but on the other, I can't help wanting to do a lot alone.
Lucien: [softly] Is this also love?
MC: Perhaps it is.
Lucien: Then I feel fortunate, so deeply fortunate, that the person standing before me at this moment is you.
Lucien: [even more softer] Is this also love?
MC: Perhaps it is, too.
He blinks, his beautiful eyes suffused with a moist, glistening light. In that instant, the grass, trees, and flowers around him seemed to fade in color.²⁸
Letting me gladly and willingly drown in their depths.
Lucien: MC, please keep teaching me more.²⁹
Until that hazy warmth and loneliness gain clearer contours, until my cowardice always grows alongside my love.
Until I no longer need deduction or imitation, converging all this into love's own language.
I can't resist lowering my head and kissing him.
✂———————–
—📝[Translation Notes and Insights]
²²: 祂 (tā) is a special pronoun used mainly in religious or spiritual contexts to refer to God or divine being(s), distinguishing it from 他 (he), 她 (she), or 它 (it). I use They in English to carry that same sense of reverence while also leaving room for the possibility that the text is speaking of more than one god or divine presence, after all, he used it to refer to how the whole world came to help~
²³: Random fun fact is that Lucien is often described with the scent of grass… so when the smell wraps around her, it's also a poetic way of saying he's embracing her. Yet it's also a wet scent that carries emotional weight of his endearing yet distressing stubbornness, seeping into her eyes and heart, making her tears rise and her heart ache.
The Sea No Longer Far Away SP
²⁴: The whole scene of them from Lucien keeps running over again and again, Lucien looking at MC, then MC opens her arms wide to give him a signal, then MC asks Lucien to rest… It instantly recalls both the 7th Anniversary and last year’s Summer SP 海不再遥远 SP (The Sea No Longer Far Away/Seaside at Last SP- Official Translation | My Translation). As I mentioned in my previous Translation Notes and Insight, the Summer SP was where they learned to give each other the signal that it's okay to rest. But reaching that point took a journey: before then, Lucien literally tried to put into practice her metaphor of what it felt like to follow in his footsteps, doing something unfamiliar, failing over and over to the sea, and starting again, just to understand her feelings. That same stubborn fool is now facing another unfamiliar challenge, once again failing again and again and tirelessly starting over each time to fulfill their promise ;-;
7th Anniversary - Day 4
And here, when Lucien looks at MC and she opens her arms wide, it mirrors the 7th Anniversary, except this time it's not her running into his arms… It's him running into hers, caught in her tight embrace. It's an act of finding and giving mutual solace, of complete acceptance, and of their growth as she also understands the importance of giving him the signal to rest. This date is absolutely INSANE as the culmination of nearly eight years of their relationship growth.
²⁵: 笨学生 (bèn xué shēng) is often translated as 'stupid student', but in this context, it leans more to a humble 'I struggle to grasp this despite effort.' An idiomatic English equivalent for 笨学生 might be 'slow learner'. However, I’ve chosen a slow student to retain the 'student' element, which preserves his deferential tone toward his 'teacher'. Other possible translations are foolish student or clumsy student, but neither foolish nor clumsy quite captures the meaning of 笨 here: Lucien flying a kite without wind might be foolish, and his not smooth attempts might be clumsy, but what's being conveyed is his genuine struggle to learn despite his efforts.
²⁶: I've translated this word into bond, but it might not capture the implicit restriction (hence the contradiction with freedom). The term 牵绊 (qiān bàn) is central to understanding this tension, as it refers to the emotional ties that bind people together, such as love, family, or deep friendship. These bonds offer support, connection, and meaning, but they also imply being held back, obligated, or constrained. The character 牵 (qiān) means to pull or involve, while 绊 (bàn) means to trip or hinder. In the metaphor of flying a kite, the string is the 牵绊: it's what allows the kite to rise, guided and connected, but also what holds it back from complete freedom. Lucien lying down while being tenderly embraced by the kite string, and the string being held by MC like she's the one anchoring him to the world, making him stand on solid ground… I think the image beautifully encapsulates the essence of 牵绊. And indeed, balancing both 牵绊 (bond/tie) and ⾃由 (freedom) is never easy.
7th Anniversary - Final Day
²⁷: The way they transform his infamous 'joking' line from chapter 13 where our Great Professor Lucien, with that aggrieved little expression, goes "I can't do it alone / won't be alright alone" when she said she wants to investigate by herself into something so solemn here, of love as not something one should carry alone, but something to be fulfilled and shoulder together… LUCIEN WRITERS YOUR MIND!!!
Chapter 13
The whole scene is such a masterstroke too! Lucien, who is still wrestling with the contradictory nature of love, is trying to make sense of it all. How he wants to let her lead, because a part of him believes maybe things wouldn't be so messy if only she bore the emotional reins, only for her to say that "I can't do it alone" because love is not a one-person task. Then he wonders, if I still want to bear things alone sometimes, is that also love? And MC doesn't deny him, simply saying, "Perhaps it is." And that's when he says he feels fortunate, so deeply fortunate that the person standing before him is someone who understands him, his contradictions, his inner wars, and loves him as he is.
²⁸: In CN 眼眸覆上盈润的光 (lit. "eyes covered with moist light") often suggests eyes welling with unshed tears or an intense emotional sheen (tenderness, vulnerability, etc.). That raw radiance in his gaze is so vivid it seems to strip the surrounding world of its own colors 🥺
²⁹: "MC, please keep teaching me more." I think every XM stan knows just how precious these words are without me needing to overexplain. A genius, yet he's willing to be your most devoted, 'slow' student, stumbling and falling again and again in an effort to learn how to love you🥹 It's hard to not be touched...
🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸
[Note: This was translated with the help of Google Translate :>]
——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——
[69-12: Project "Report"]
For context, the last time Kiro and MC were together in the main story, Kiro broke down crying in the middle of an amusement park because KEY bid farewell to him after handing over the code to the lighthouse technology for him to master.
In the current arc, the entire city of Loveland is being affected by radiation that's been affecting people's nervous systems.
Kiro's part starts with him calling for a meeting at the BS HQ.
Once Ares (Lucien) arrives at the meeting hall, the meeting begins.
Kiro: Now that everyone's here, I'll speak frankly.
Kiro: I've come up with a solution for the recent radiation crisis affecting the city.
??: You want to help Loveland City solve the radiation problem?
??: Since when did the Boss get so kind, and when did Black Swan become a charity organisation?
A shrill voice can't help but taunt. However, before he can finish speaking, a low laugh follows, causing the voice to rise even higher.
??: What're you laughing at, Ares?
Lucien: It seems that the radiation knows how to "cleanse" more efficiently than any of us.
Lucien slowly raises his eyes, however his gaze is not focused on the questioner, but instead, sweeps across the entire gathering, as if looking at a lifeless object.
Lucien: Once your brain has been taken over by the parasitic consciousness, everything that you're proud of... will it still have any meaning?
Lucien: Things that have no meaning, don't need to exist.
All the questioning voices in the conference room are instantly silenced by the cruel arc of Lucien's mouth—sharp, like a knife.
Hephaestus looks around and stretches.
Hephaestus: I don't know 'bout you guys, but I'd rather not be parasitized. What do you wanna do, Boss?
Kiro: I'm gonna hypnotize all the citizen of Loveland and put them all into a week long slumber.
Kiro: During that time, I'll use my own ways to eliminate the effects of radiation on everyone.
Kiro: As for you all—all you need to do is help me get everyone to bed.
An even heavier silence settles over the entire conference hall. After a long while, a middle-aged man finally speaks up.
Middle-aged man: From the perspective of City Hall, city-wide actions cover all citizens.
Middle-aged man: The costs and benefits will be really...
??: No need to concern yourself with this matter.
Suddenly, one of the virtual images besides the round table flickers.
A cold voice cuts through the chilly air.
Through the electronic image, the blurred silhouette seems to raise his head slightly, his voice resounding with irresistible certainty.
Victor: In this city, LFG is capable of taking on that responsibility.
—
Back at the Company, MC is spiraling about where the "lighthouse" technology used to invade the NW satellite system came from. A technology that is the current source of the crisis and is also used to run Odyssey.
This was also the same kind of technology that KEY introduced to Kiro in the previous set of chapters that Kiro had spent a long time studying tirelessly to master because of how ahead of its time it was.
MC tries to contact 24 about this, seeing as it is a remanent lighthouse intelligence, but gets no response. Its whereabouts were last seen about half a month ago, however, she doesn't concern herself with it too much.
Never mind, it isn't necessary for me to ask it for help, after all...
I look at the current project proposal at hand.
"Goodnight Loveland" Live Concert—Kiro.
I still have him.
After leaving the amusement park, Kiro turned on the "do not disturb" mode and and insisted on locking himself at home alone, continuing to study the lighthouse code left to him by Key.
The sound of his cries still lingers clearly in my mind, and I've been constantly worried about how he's been handling the loss.
So, in addition to sharing posts and sending messages to him from time to time, I'd also ask couriers and flash delivery services to send him comfort supplies.
Fortunately, he's been sending me more and more messages lately, and his tone is also gradually returning to its original vitality.
And last week, he suddenly sent me this project proposal.
In the proposal, he explained what a "live concert" would mean, as well as some of his ideas for the stage, but...
MC: Why is it called "Goodnight Loveland?"
I mutter to myself just as the sound of two light knocks come from the office door.
*Knock, knock*—
It's akin to a brisk drumbeat of spring. Suddenly, I feel something in my heart and impatiently hurry over to open the door.
A touch of gold greets me as expected.
Kiro: Ding ding! This bear alarm clock is here to remind you: It's almost lunchtime!
MC: And just as I'm in need of a lunch break partner. Would you like to join me?
MC: Two options: A. Join me. B. Happily join me~
Kiro: I'll go with C. Not only would I be happy to join you, but I'd also like to take up your entire lunch break.
Kiro: And while I'm at it, I want to discuss with you the plan for my Live Performance.
MC: Oh wow—So the latter turned out to be nothing but a by-product?
Kiro: Of course. Wanting to see you will always be my first priority.
As he speaks, he shakes the bag of food in his hand, the packaging filled to the brim. I casually pick the project proposal off the coffee table and take him to sit with me on the sofa.
Taking out a can of Coke from the bag, he hands it to me and then pulls out sandwiches, some sweet soup and various other snacks.
MC: Wow, is this sandwich a new product from EGG LOVE?
Kiro: Uh-huh~ It's the one you told me a few days ago that you wanted to try but couldn't get every day.
Kiro: I made use of a neat little "trick" of mine and grabbed two orders as soon as they were put on the shelves today.
Listening to him ramble, I let my gaze roam over his eyes and eyebrows. While his face still looks a bit tired, and his slightly curly blonde hair a bit messy, the gloom from that day has all but faded from his blue eyes.
I reach out and push down an unruly tuft of hair on his head, and the softness of his hair causes my heart to melt.
Kiro is left stunned by my actions and speaks hesitantly.
Kiro: Do I... look bad?
MC: No way. Mr. Bear's super cute even when he looks a little messy.
Kiro: [smiling bashfully] To be honest, I wanted to look perfect when coming to see you, but I was finally able to master a technique today and got so happy, that I wanted to share it with you as soon as I could.
Kiro: So I didn't bother to prepare and just rushed out the door.
MC: Pfft, you must have solved a super difficult problem if it made you that happy, huh?
Kiro: Mm, I plan to use it at the concert... See, it's called "Goodnight Loveland"!
As he says this, he pats the project proposal sitting towards the side.
MC: Goodnight Loveland? What's the matter?
I repeat, but he doesn't continue to explain. Instead, he sits up slightly and looks at me with his lips pursed.
Kiro: What I'm about to say next may seem like a fairy tale to you.
Kiro: But I'm serious.
Kiro: I want to use this concert to make the entirety of Loveland City fall asleep.
——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——
[69-13: Goodnight Loveland]
MC: ...Sleep?
I didn't react for a bit.
Kiro seems to sense my confusion and smiles gently.
Kiro: Yep, sleep. That's literally what it means—I want everyone to go to sleep during the concert.
Kiro: It's so we can resolve this radiation problem going on right now.
I wasn't expecting him to suddenly mention the radiation. Momentarily stunned, I ask him in surprise.
MC: Are you talking about the radiation that's been affecting the nervous system?
Kiro: As expected. You know about it too, Miss Chips.
Kiro: Then you must've heard that many people have been hospitalized for this very reason.
MC: I know... a lot of my colleagues have taken leave or have even been hospitalized due to headaches.
Thinking of this, my voice lowers.
While the satellite is now destroyed, a lot of the effects caused due to radiation still linger. Major hospitals have been searching for cures lately, but it seems like there haven't been any substantial results so far...
MC: You just said that you want to use the concert to resolve the issue. How do you do that?
MC: And I don't quite understand... Can letting everyone sleep solve this problem? How are we going to make everyone fall sleep...?
Kiro: Hmm... how do I explain this?
Kiro frowns and thinks for a moment, then quickly relaxes his brows and smiles.
Kiro: How about this? When your computer breaks down, what do you do, Miss Chips?
MC: I call you.
I answer honestly. Kiro is left stunned for a moment and then bursts out laughing.
Kiro: That's right! With me here, your computer will be fully restored in no time.
Kiro: But what if I'm not with you?
MC: Hmm... I'll restart it first. If restarting doesn't work, then I'll either look for a guide online or ask someone to repair it?
Kiro: Exactly. Whether you're restarting your computer or calling someone to repair it, you'll either need to shut it down or restart it during the process.
Kiro: Simply put, this sleep is gonna work in the same way.
I ponder for a moment, trying to make sense of what he is saying.
MC: So you're saying that dealing with the effects of the radiation is like a reboot.
MC: Putting the people to sleep is like shutting down the system..? And then repairing it?
Kiro: Bingo! I knew you'd get it right away, Miss Chips!
Kiro: Some time ago, I was staying at home to study the technology that's gonna be used for the "repair".
MC: Is this also... solved by using the code Key left for you?
Kiro nods, his eyes flickering slightly.
Kiro: I've spent these past few days reorganising the codes that my master taught me and have finally understood the principle of how to implant parasitic consciousness.
Kiro: We're just going to transmit in reverse to destroy it.
Kiro: And the technology that's gonna be used to cover the entire city just so happens to be available at BS.
Kiro: When the time comes, I'll let it cover the entire city during the concert.
MC: BS?
My heart tightens. The people in that organization have used advanced technology to bring dangerous and uncontrolled chaos to this city many times before.
MC: Would they be so kind?
Kiro: Don't worry, I've driven away all the "ill-intentioned" individuals.
Kiro: Just focus on the most important thing with me.
MC: The most important thing... what is that?
Kiro: It's saying "good night" to Loveland City together, of course.
Even thought this clearly concerns the "fate" of the entire city, his eyes appear bright, and a resolute light ripples through the depths of the blue in them.
My heart trembles as I slowly digest his words, my surprise now gradually turning into a faint sense of anticipation.
MC: You're right, that's definitely the most important thing!
I smile and take a deep breath, and details regarding the concert quickly flash through my mind.
MC: Is it necessary to optimize the stage performance? Would it be better for the lighting to be softer and more hazy?
As I speak, more and more thoughts keep coming to my mind.
MC: Then there's also the speakers. Do you want them to listen to your music as they fall asleep this time? Then you won't be able to use the standard ones.
MC: I'll ask Anna to look for something with a more balanced frequency response...
Looking up, I find Kiro with a smile on his face, supporting his chin in his hand, gazing at me quietly and intently.
MC: ...Just my initial thoughts. After all, it's a special concert, so the stage has to be the best of the best.
Kiro: Hahaha, but I think that every stage that Miss Chips prepares for me is always bright and special.
Smiling, he puts his arms around me, his breath deep and elongated, as if wanting to draw strength from me.
Kiro: However, after hearing you say what you did, I'm more hopeful about our chances of success.
MC: Then "hold on" tight and don't let go.
MC: After all, even superheroes need their "accomplices".
MC: We can work together to prepare for the concert and anything else you might need.
He smiles and gently rests his forehead against mine.
The reflection of ourselves in each other's eyes is so close that it looks like we're almost hugging each other.
Kiro: Then I need a lot. I need to see you and be close to you every single day.
Kiro: I need to hold your hand and hug you.
Kiro: I need us to work together to select the songs that I'll be singing at the concert, as well as perfecting the look of the entire stage...
The more he talks about what he needs, the harder I find trying to suppress the smile that's about to spread across my face. He tilts his head and hums.
Kiro: Actually, no need to make a list. I need all of you.
I finally collapse into his arms, laughing, hooking our pinkies together and shaking them.
MC: Of course. I was completely yours from the very beginning.
——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——
[6-15: Street Interview]
Closing in towards the day of the concert, MC organizes a series of impromptu street interviews in order to promote the concert.
On the final day, she calls Kiro on to conduct the interviews as a surprise guest.
Kiro: Wow, so when you can't sleep, do you really count sheep?
Kiro: That's amazing. Every time I count and make a mistake, I try to figure out where I was counting to. And then, the more I think about it, the more awake I feel...
He shrugs "dejectedly", rousing laughter out of the Little Sodas.
Soda: Kiro, Kiro, why are you performing this concert live?
Kiro: Well... because a lot of people haven't been sleeping well lately. I want everyone to listen to me sing at home and take a nice nap.
Kiro: By broadcasting it live, I'll be able to say "good night" to more people.
Soda: If that's the case, then I definitely don't want to fall asleep! I'll be listening to the very last song!
Watching him handle the interviews with such ease, the corners of my lips curl up and I say to the photographer through the communicator.
MC: Zoom in a little closer to capture his interactions with the passersby.
—
Once the sun reaches its zenith, I glance at the time and gesture to the photographer, indicating that it was time to pack up. Kiro waves his hand and says goodbye to the little sodas in front of him.
Kiro: Thanks for all the support! Remember to come listen to me sing when the time comes~
The interviews gradually come to an end. My colleagues and I count the final shots to be retaken, and by the time I turn around, I find that that golden figure has vanished into thin air.
MC: Where is he? ...Hold on, I'll go look for him.
Just as I am done rounding about a flower bed, a steaming popsicle suddenly emerges from between the branches.
Kiro: Hello, I'm here to do an interview about sleep.
Kiro: You're the lucky Miss Chips that I've selected for this interview. Are you willing to accept?
The sunlight outlines him in a brilliant golden aura, his narrowed eyes appearing brighter than the sky itself. The cool air from the popsicle leaves a chill on the corner of my mouth, and I take it with a smile.
MC: Of course I am.
Kiro: Have you been sleeping well at night lately?
Noting the formality with which he asks me the question, I clear my throat.
MC: I've been busy with work lately, so I haven't been able to get much sleep. That being said, the quality of my sleep has been really good, so I end up sleeping soundly.
Kiro: Mm, when you're tired from work, you do end up sleeping a lot more deeply.
MC: It's not just because I'm tired; I actually have a little secret of mine that helps me sleep soundly at night.
I wink as I speak, and he responds with a curious expression.
Kiro: Oh? Mind sharing what the secret is?
MC: I think about things that make me feel relaxed. For example, the dessert I want to eat tomorrow, the glow of the sunset while passing by the street, and...
MC: I think about the person I care about, as well as his singing.
MC: This way, even if he's not by my side, I get the feeling that he's thinking about me too.
MC: I'm just not sure if he's been sleeping well these days, though.
I draw my voice out and lock my eyes onto his face.
His eyes tremble a bit, and a smile quietly emerges from the depths of his gaze.
Kiro: I think... he's been sleeping well.
Kiro: Because the one he's been missing has also been missing him. Even if he falls asleep, that longing will bring him sweet dreams.
I can't help but curl my eyes and reach out to gently poke his cheek.
MC: Then I'm going to check on you tonight.
MC: See if you're lying to me when you say you're going to sleep, only to then secretly count sheep, and then the more you count, the more awake you end up becoming.
Kiro: Of course not. If I can't sleep, I'll definitely give you a quiet "poke" to see if you're asleep.
Kiro: If I catch a "midnight doom-scrolling Miss Chips", we can both put each other to sleep.
Kiro: Listening to your voice and breathing is much more effective than counting sheep.
—
Upon returning back to the car, Kiro and MC learn from Savin that the promotions for Kiro's concert have been doing exceedingly well.
Savin: I estimate that the number of people online this time might far exceed expectations.
Savin: Kiro, go back and prepare well. Don't worry about anything else. Just leave everything to me.
Savin's tone shows his eagerness, causing my heart to leap with excitement as well.
Regardless of whether there are plans to sleep or not, there are tons of people just like me, who simply look forward to his every performance.
Look forward to seeing him shine on stage, singing his dreams.
A glimmer of light seems to show in Kiro's eyes and he shoots Savin a grin.
Kiro: Got it, Savin~ By the way, MC, do you have anything else to do this afternoon?
MC: I haven't figured it out yet... why?
Kiro: I'm planning on doing a little "dress rehearsal" at home, and I wanted you to come and see if there's anything I could improve.
MC: Then I'm definitely coming!
Just at that moment, Anna sends MC the preliminary design layouts for the stage and Kiro & MC discuss it for a bit.
Just as she's about to refer to some old designs of someone who'd previously worked with the company, for some reason, she's unable to find any of the files on her phone. Neither is Kiro able to find anything online.
So, giving up, they manage to find some other designs and send those over to Anna instead. Then, they head over to Kiro's house.
——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——
[69-16: Warm Courage]
As soon as we enter the house, a massive ball of fluff runs out of the shadows and pounces on us.
Apple Box: Woof! Woof woof!
MC: Hey, Apple Box~
Kiro: Savin's been busy recently, so I brought them back.
I gently pat its head and turn to look at Kiro.
MC: They're both tiny audience members who often listen to your performances, so how about letting them join in on your rehearsal?
Kiro: That's what I was thinking as well. It's a good opportunity to get some "feedback" from the pets on this concert!
Kiro: After all, by then... they too will be sent to "sleep".
MC: Do the animals need to go to sleep as well?
The news startles me, and I subconsciously look at Apple Box. But then I realise that if everyone else is asleep, then who would be there to care for the little ones?
However Apple Box, unbeknownst of what we are talking about, just sticks out his tongue and looks at us expectantly. Kiro gently taps its nose.
Kiro: [dotingly] Since you're Cello's big brother, you gotta make sure the two of you sleeep well, got it?
The soft look in his eyes makes me feel like a feather has dropped onto my heart, causing it to ripple.
This person who's been busy processing the lighthouse code and preparing for his concert, never once forgot about these soft little lives even for a single moment.
Seems like my golden little sun is always shining his tenderness onto every corner of this world.
So, with Kiro holding Apple Box and me holding Cello, we walk into the practice room that Kiro has at home.
-
While I settle the two young listeners, he quickly cleans up the things that have piled up on the floor, moving a stool towards the piano and bowing at me like a gentleman.
Kiro: Dear ladies and gentle-pets. Welcome to the first and only rehearsal of the "Goodnight Loveland" concert.
Kiro: I hope you enjoy the music and singing that follows to the utmost.
Apple Box barks at Kiro twice as he lays at my feet, as if to encourage him.
Kiro skillfully fiddles with the mixing console for a bit, then sits down on the piano stool, his focused eyes looking as though they have stars falling into them.
Looking at his gentle profile, I'm suddenly struck by how long its been since I last sat here like this, listening to him sing just for me.
His slender fingertips fall on the black and white keys and the clear sound of the piano flows out like a spring.
Along with the piano's prelude, the faint chirping of cicadas gradually rings out from the speakers.
"The moonlight is like a feather, falling upon our pillows."
"Let it kiss the side of your face along with me."
His voice flows out with a sense of depth that isn't usually there. Like if I close my eyes, I'll be able to follow this leaping melody and walk into a midsummer night's dream. The fatigue that I've felt accumulating these past few days is gently soothed by his singing.
Tender songs play one after another, their softness even infecting Cello as he lays beside me. He yawns and closes his eyes.
I stare at his profile in a trance, following the guidance of the song and walking towards deeper memories:
Listening to him sing that melody of light in a city without the sun before the end of the world.
Listening to the slightly lonely song he softly sang for me on the other end of the phone when he lost his hearing.
Listening to that firm and unshakable voice of his when the tsunami was approaching the city.
Whether in despair or in facing hope, his song remains the same.
Yet somehow, I've always felt that that voice of his should have company of its own.
Gently placing Cello on the floor, I walk over and sit down on the piano stool next to him.
He is slightly taken aback, but before he can say anything, I'm already pressing down the piano keys and immersing myself into the melody.
I begin to hum softly, neither fast nor slow, letting my voice flow into the stream of music.
Even after the melody ends, I still seem to hear it, echoing in my mind.
I slowly withdraw my hand. However, I find his gaze fixed on me, an ever-present smile in his eyes. My ears start to burn and I end up curling my fingers a bit.
MC: I just suddenly felt like singing with you... Why don't you play it again? I'll listen this time.
Kiro: I think that with you joining in, this song has become even more perfect.
Kiro: Don't you think so too, Apple Box?
Apple Box: Woof woof!
I find it amusing, the way they're able to chime in together.
MC: But after listening to it, I think it works very well when combined with the natural sound effects that you found.
MC: I mean, look at how soundly Cello is sleeping.
Kiro: Hmm... While the atmosphere is indeed soft, it still feels a bit lacking somehow.
Kiro: I didn't notice it before, but after playing for you, I feel like the performance style of each piece is much too similar. It feels a bit bland.
MC: Hmm... could we try adding different white noises according to the song?
Kiro: That makes sense. The stage is supposed to resemble a forest, so we could add some rustling of leaves and chirping of insects.
We discuss it some more, but Kiro still feels like there's something missing.
Seeing him frown with that pensive look on his face, I intentionally take him aside.
MC: If you can't think of a solution right now, how about trying something else?
Under his somewhat puzzled gaze, I pull him to lay down on the couch placed in the corner of the room.
MC: For example, empty your mind and try to enjoy the process of "falling asleep".
Kiro: If that's the case, I know best how to rest peacefully and have sweet dreams.
He smiles, stretches out his arms, and holds me in his arms tightly, gazing at me with those sparkling eyes of his.
Kiro: Like this.
Kiro: But this method is meant for me alone. No one else can know about it.
I smile and press my face against his neck, breathing in that familiar warmth of his that came from being bathed in the sunlight for hours.
The light of the setting sun falls in through the windows as a peaceful silence quietly shrouds the world in this moment, leaving just the intimacy and stability present between our breaths.
Apple Box too lets out a yawn, and then skillfully lays down next to Cello and closes his eyes. Cello's purring snores are soft, producing several different tones as he sleeps.
I take comfort in this most secure place of belonging, and even my heart begins to soften.
Kiro: MC, could you hum a few more lines for me?
I think about it and hum a few more lines of his songs that I've been listening to recently. Kiro listens attentively, his eyes gazing into the distance, as if lost in some memory.
I reach out and touch the corner of his lips.
MC: What're you smiling at?
Kiro: Just remembering some things from the past.
Kiro: When I was a kid, and my master had just taken me in, there were a lot of nights where I wasn't able to fall asleep.
The image of that skinny boy holding his teddy bear emerges in my mind, causing my heart to ache slightly.
MC: Would Key lull you to sleep?
Kiro: Yeah, but my master... wasn't the best at telling bedtime stories to children.
Kiro: Every time he'd judge the conditions and traverse a list of codes, which he'd then break into short stories and tell them to me. The more I listened to him, the more excited I got.
MC: Pfft, looks like he's been teaching you from quite early on.
Kiro: Then he realised that that method wasn't working, considering we'd both wake up with panda eyes the next day. So, he changed tactics.
Kiro: He bought a little bear speaker and put in on my bedside, lying to me that the little bear was able to sing and that I could let it accompany me to bed every night.
MC: So later on, it was the little bear who put you to sleep every night?
Kiro: Actually, I already knew that it wasn't the bear that was singing, but with it, I was no longer so afraid of sleeping alone.
Kiro: That song was my best company.
The light of the setting sun melts into his eyes, following the thoughts of his memories and filling my heart with a deep warmth.
MC: Then—did little Kiro have sweet dreams afterwards?
Kiro: Uh-huh. I dreamed of my master taking me to eat the tastiest burger set-meal, and dreamed of many people coming to listen to me play the violin.
Kiro: I also dreamed of a little girl who reached out to me and illuminated me in my darkest moments.
A hot yet extremely gentle kiss is placed on my forehead. In an instant, all the memories grow and bloom in my heart.
Kiro: Those terrible dreams are all gone. The night and tomorrow are no longer scary to me.
——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——
[69-18: Just for Your Singing]
He slowly tells me of those warm memories, like a slow and gentle bedtime story.
He recounts the many songs that the little bear had "sung" for him, and the beautiful dreams he entered into while listening to those songs.
Suddenly, I understand why he wants to use this concert to make everyone fall asleep.
MC: I know the feeling you're talking about.
MC: Sometimes, when I couldn't sleep, I'd listen to your songs. Whenever I did, I'd instantly feel at peace.
I gently squeeze his fingers, taking in the warmth of his skin and the beating of his pulse.
MC: Whenever I listen to your songs, I naturally look forward to what tomorrow will be like.
MC: Will I get to see you? Will something wonderful happen?
Kiro: Next time, no need to wait to see what tomorrow's like. Just come and ask me.
Kiro: And I'll always tell you tomorrow will be good. We will meet, and then go look for wonderful things together.
MC: Good~ Since we're together, happiness will definitely be triggered.
I smile and nuzzle his neck.
MC: Kiro, this concert will definitely make everyone happy and hopeful.
Kiro: I know. Music brings hope, and that's what I want to bring to everyone.
Kiro: If Master knew what I was up to, he probably would've made some special Easter egg for me to trigger at the end of the concert.
His voice is soft, but it displays a firmness that cannot be ignored.
Ever since returning back from the amusement park, this is the first time that the two of us have talked so seriously about his past with Key.
The scar is still there; he isn't trying to hide it, nor is he trying to touch it. He's simply waiting for it to heal, little by little.
I tighten my embrace and lean myself against his chest.
MC: Since he's entrusted you with this code, that means he knows that this is something that only you can accomplish.
Kiro: You're right. He never does anything that he's not confident about.
Kiro: I'm gonna do this well, and then I'll tell him—
Kiro: The coward who needed the little bear to accompany him to sleep can now complete all of his tasks.
MC: Not only that. He's also someone that brings hope to this entire city.
MC: He'll be so proud of you.
Kiro: What about you?
I hear my heart pounding heavily.
MC: To me, you'll always be my superhero.
—
The glow of the sunset gradually starts to fade and the whole room falls into a sudden dimness. However, his eyes are still bright, like stars falling into my arms.
Holding my face in his hands, he asks me solemnly.
Kiro: So, my dear Miss Chips, are you willing to join me on the superhero's stage?
MC: ...Me?
I am a bit surprised.
Kiro: Yes. When you and I sang together just now, I felt a sense of peace that I didn't have while I was singing alone.
Kiro: So I was thinking, could you help me with the piano accompaniment and then sing a cappella like you did just now?
I open my mouth, but am faced with the extreme earnestness I find on his face.
MC: But this is your concert, and I... I'm in no ways a professional...
Kiro: It's because this is my concert that I'm asking you.
Kiro: I was just wondering what exactly was missing from these songs.
Kiro: Now I know that it was my heart that was looking for its place of belonging.
Kiro: It was only after you joined in that I found it. And this sense of stability is what made my own singing different.
He takes my hand and holds it in his palm, a pleasing curve appearing at the corner of his lips.
Kiro: MC, I know your concerns.
Kiro: It does take a lot of courage to stand up on stage. Even I still get nervous sometimes.
Kiro: But when the spotlight goes down, the scenery you see is beyond comprehension. it is particularly dazzling and beautiful. And I want you to see it too.
Kiro: I want to be with you. I need you.
Kiro: You, like the accompaniment team and the live broadcast team leaders present, are the professional and powerful force that I need.
MC: Kiro.
I can't help but interrupt him and tightly grab hold of his hands.
He saw through my unspoken nervousness, and with his sincere and gentle words, he transformed it into eagerness and anticipation.
MC: Since it's my superhero who is inviting me, how could I refuse?
I close my eyes and solemnly kiss his eyes.
MC: I accept.
I'm willing to do anything, if it's for you.
—
Time passes by after that, with both Kiro and MC busy preparing the stage and special effects for the concert, and in no time, it's the day before the concert.
After making arrangement for the day, I realize that it's almost midnight. Seeing the light in the living room downstairs still on, I think for a moment and then quietly go downstairs.
Kiro is sitting cross-legged on the carpet, holding his computer and typing away quickly at the keyboard.
Kiro: The sound wave frequency has been embedded. No compatibility issues with the clear code detected...
Seeing him talking to himself with a frown on his face, I don't try to disturb him. I just lean against the handrail of the stairs and watch him quietly.
After a while, he lets out a long breath and his tense shoulders relax a little.
MC: Got it done?
Kiro: MC? Since when have you been standing there?
MC: Since you've been adjusting the code, all the while mumbling to yourself.
I sit down next to him and glance at the screen.
MC: Is there something wrong?
Kiro: No, I just wanted to confirm the security of the code and every aspect of its dissemination.
MC: If I remember correctly, didn't you check it several times the previous afternoon? As well as last night?
Kiro: Maybe. But it's like an important exam. You gotta check it a few more times to be sure.
He pushes his computer aside and takes me into his arms.
Kiro: Today, I found some people at BS who were affected by radiation and did a couple of "sleep tests" on them. The progress was relatively smooth.
MC: Wow, that's great!
Kiro: Mhm. In short—the small-scale internal test succeeded, but now it's time to enter into the "city-wide public test" phase...
He puts his chin on my shoulder and, circling his arms around me, he taps away at his keyboard.
Kiro: It's better to check a few more times! After all, we'll be facing tens of millions of people tomorrow.
He exhales slowly, his eyes flashing with the determination to win.
I purse my lips and look at the dense layer of codes on his screen, feeling the tension in my heart.
Tens of millions of people and countless families in the city are shrouded in the shadow of this radiation. This concert is a unique opportunity not only for us. but for everyone else as well.
It's also our only hope.
We hold onto each other's hand, faced with a crumbling cliff. One wrong step may cause this hope to sink into the depths of the abyss forever.
The clicking of the keyboard sounds in the quiet air, bringing about an inexplicable restlessness.
It's like the sunlight has been blocked by countless shadows.
An idea flashes through my mind and I take his hand without warning.
MC: Being nervous will just make you less efficient. Let's go out and get some fresh air.
——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——
Next Part: Coming Soon
𝓚𝓮𝓮𝓹 𝓒𝓪𝓵𝓶 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 @roselias-posts - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
turnnoffyourmind
dailybridgerton
gummygunk
romaincrisis
