hi i exist sometimes

My robot GF runs windows 95 so this is very easy. Hell, sometimes we don't even make it to the sex before I'm having to ctrl-alt-delete her.

fun fact: why I wrote this shitpost, I had a windows 95 VM running upstairs on my computer. I didn't know it at the time, but it had already bluescreened.

I hope that little german boy is still playing fortnite und trinking cola

Gender affirming surgery of give me elf ears

Gender affirming surgery of give me vampire fangs

Gender affirming surgery of give me teifling horns

congratulations you are now a homestuck troll

This is the worst possible reply to this post have a horrible day

What people don’t get is when you comment on a post on here you’re not talking to an audience or to generalized presence or the void the way you are when making a post on here, you are talking directly to the person who made the post, to me. you are plopping down onto my lap slinging your arms around my neck looking into my eyes and saying whatever you just said bc it is my post and I am the only one getting an alert about it. You are speaking to me. And I’m going to murder you.

nobody tears through library books quite as fast as a 12 yr old girl with no friends

only ppl on this post who matter r the ppl who r saying "me except im not a girl anymore" & "me except i wasnt a girl yet"

animal sniffing something: hm….. object. woagh

metal gear characters will be named shit like penis delirious 

metal gear characters will be named shit like penis delirious and have three clones called penis serious penis mysterious and penis imperious

heh.... he doesn't know about .. my Instant Pounding Headache technique....! *stands up too fast* *screams in agony*

does anyone else completely ignore the queue option on tumblr. i’m here when i’m here

they should invent a myself that isn't at its limit