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Slay her.

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Vampire
Dumb_Blanka.png I did not get 10-0'd by Blanka. I did not get totally wreaked and destroyed by Blanka. I most definitely and certainly did not get repeatedly ball to wall pounded drive rush 3HPed by Blanka into the corner where his son ate me for dinner. I totally know the match up there's no w

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i love when poetry has no structure at all its just a guy bieng like we're here theres sunlight its night you are a deer. its perfect
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BLACK CANARY in Batman/Superman: Worldâs Finest #4

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TIL of the âTiffany Problemâ. Tiffany is a medieval nameâshort for Theophaniaâfrom the 12th century. Authors canât use it in historical or fantasy fiction, however, because the name looks too modern. This is an example of how reality is sometimes too unrealistic.
via reddit.com
âAuthors canât use it in fantasy fiction, eh? Weâll see about thatâŚâ
âTerry Pratchett, probably
Try to implement anything but a conservativeâs sixth grade education level of medieval or Victorian times and you will butt into this. all. the. time. There was a literaly fad in the 1890â˛s for nipple rings for all genders(and NO, it was NOT under the mistaken belief that it would help breastfeedingâthereâs LOTS of doctorsâ writing at the time telling people to STOP and that they thought it would ruin the breastâs ability to breastfeed well, etc). It was straight up because the Victorians were freaks, okay Imagine trying to make a Victorian character with nipple rings. IMAGINE THE ACCUSATIONS OF GROSS HISTORICAL INACCURACY
people just really, REALLY have entrenched ideas of what people in the past were like tell them the vikings were clean, had a complex democratic legal system, respected women, had freeform rap battles, and had child support payments? theyd call you a liar tell them that chopsticks became popular in china during the bronze age because street food vendors were all the rage and they wanted to have disposable eating utensils? theyll say youre making that up tell them native americans had a trade network stretching from canada to peru and built sacred mounds bigger then the pyramids of giza? you are some SJW twisting facts ancient egypt had circular saws, debt cards, and eye surgery? are you high? our misconception of medieval peasants being illiterate and living in poverty in one room mud huts being their own creation as part of a century long tax aversion scam? you stole that from the game of thrones reject bin iron age india had stone telescopes, air conditioning, and the number 0 along with all âarabicâ numbers including algebra and calculus? i understand some of those words. romans had accurate maps detailing vacation travel times along with a star rating for hotels along the way, fast food restaurants, swiss army knives, black soldiers in brittany, traded with china, and that soldiers wrote thank-you notes when their parents sent them underwear in the mail? but they thought the earth was flat! ancient bronze age mesopotamia had pedantic complaints sent to merchants about crappy goods, comedic performances, and transgender/nobinary representation? what are you smoking?
Adding my personal favorite: people in medieval Europe took baths.
India had ways of processing iron for weatherproofing that we still canât match 1600 years later.
Truth is stranger than fiction, and history is weirder than you think.
this post gets better every time it comes across my dash. To provide some more: those Romans also had vending machines, automated puppet plays, doors that opened to the sound of horns when you lit a fire in front of them, and working steam engines. All invented by one dude, Hero of Alexandria.
People generally want to think that the Dark Ages is the sum of the entire history of the world.
Charlemagne had a frigging PET ELEPHANT, sent as a present by the Caliph over in Bahgdad.
Emperor Frederick II. (around 1200) crossed the Alps with his own private zoo, including giraffes, in order to impress and dazzle his Germanic subjects, and it frigging worked. He also introduced legislation that a doctor was not allowed to also sell medicine (to prevent obvious charlatanery), but had to write a recipe for an apothecary to then redeem, which is a system STILL IN USE in Germany and other countries. He spoke several language, was tolerant towards his Muslim subjects in southern Italy (you read that correctly) and was opposed to trial by combat on reasons of it being unfair and irrational. Oh, and he wrote a book on ornithology.Â
Ancient Persians knew how to make frozen desserts even in summer, thus basically being the inventors of ice cream.
Medieval monks had an efficient way of testing for pregnacy (by pouring the urine of a woman on a toad, which, if the woman was pregnant, would change colourâŚ).
One of my favorite things to do is to send posts like this to my brother, a historian. He had MANY potential additions to this thread, but my favorite:
My pet peeve is that everyone thinks that nobody traveled in the middle ages.
I have a letter from a monk at Ripoll, near Barcelona, sent to a monk in Fleury (Central France) asking that they return a book they had lent. The book was first obtained in Pavia (Italy). The monk wanted it back really fast because he hadnât asked for permission from the librarian to loan it.
This was from around 1020. The more things change âŚÂ
The Ancient Egyptians had an efficient pregnancy test as well. Theyâd get a woman to wee on some barley and wheat seeds, and if they sprouted it would mean that she was pregnant.
There was a study done on this in 1936 and apparently it had a 70% accuracy rate, which isnât a patch on modern pregnancy tests but is very impressive for a civillisation that hadnât invented the wheel.
Stone age people took surprisingly good care of each other. There have been skeletons found of people (homo sapiens and neanderthal) with physical disabilities that would have prevented them from providing for themselves who still lived fairly long lives and were buried nicely. Because it turns out even prehistoric humans thought that people had a right to life whether or not they were âusefulâ.
They also had a primitive form of surgery that involved drilling holes in peopleâs skulls, we think to prevent migraines or something. Whatever it was, it must have worked at least slightly, because weâve found skulls with multiple healed over patches, meaning that people survived this and then kept coming back.
Not to mention language. I donât know why this in particular is so hard for people to grasp, but if youâre talking about homo sapiens then there is literally no reason to assume that their language wasnât as complex and fluent as ours. For that matter, a lot of what we in Europe think of as âthe stone ageâ was happening at the same time as the Ancient Egyptians were building pyramids and having a whole civilisation and shit.
You might as well present them as speaking only in grunts.
There was a long held belief that most peasants were illiterate in the 1500s until literally schoolbooks from the 1500s were excavated in Russia of a 7 year old boyâs learning to read and write.
The the point where we actually have pieces of his writing where he GOT BORED and started drawing pictures about how big and brave he was and drew a picture of himself as a warrior AND wrote his friend (presumably also a 7 year old boy)âs name on it to show him âHey look at this cool thing I wrote about me fighting a bearâ
hold on. *gets up to pull my book from my shelf*
OK! The boyâs name was Onfim because he had to write his name on his spelling exercises. The city was called Novgorod and is the most ancient recorded Slavic city in Russian history. The message to his friend was âGreetings from Onfim to Daniloâ and just because he was unsure if the pictures he drew on his spelling homework made sense, he labeled the creature he was fighting with âI am a wild beast!â
Before these types of writing were discovered it was thought that the peasant class was illiterate and that writing was ONLY for the church and the ruling class. But after finding these as well as THOUSANDS of other letters, it became clear even the lowest peasant class in this time period were not only litirate but taught writing and spelling as serious subjects to the point where 7 year old peasant children could read and write.
Oh and in a completely different time period in a completely different country thereâs also this fucker.
Itâs rusted and its box has rotted away because it was made around 86 BC. So hereâs a replica thatâs been made of what it use to look like
And hereâs a cross section
Itâs from Greece and like I said, itâs from roughly 86BC.
Itâs a computer.
On the front it calculates with extraordinary accuracy the movement of planets, constellations, moons etc etc and can be used for everything from religious holidays and rites to navigation by ship. The back is used for keeping score in the Olympic games of the various competitors, their athletes and nations etc etc.
Another fun one is the fact that the Steam Engine was first invented in the first century AD, however since it was fueled by wood because it had not been discovered that coal could be used as fuel, it was more a parlor trick to show people because it would cost more to employ a slave to fuel the machine with wood than what power the machine gave.
But that doesnât change the fact that the steam engine is over 2000 years old.
Oh and the 13th century Syrians had swords made of Damascus Steel and we have no idea how the steel was forged. There have been numerous attempts to replicate it and some have gotten close but still fail to match the durability and ability to stay sharp of the originals. Some individuals have claimed to have replicated the steel perfectly but none of them have been recognised by officials. So we still donât know how to make these even with all our modern technology.
AND ANOTHER THING!!
The âPeople believed that the Earth is flat in the pastâ myth only became a âfactâ that people believed in the 1800s. Every scientist since the ancient Greeks knew the world was round and there are even Bible passages referring to the Earth as round.
Quote from Historian Jeffrey Burton Russel:
âWith Extraordinarily few exceptions, no educated person in the history of Western Civilization from the 3rd century BC onward believed that the Earth was flat. The myth that people in the middle ages thought the Earth was flat appears to date from the 17th century as part of a campaign by Protestants against Catholic teachings. But it gained currency in the 19th century, thanks to inaccurate histories such as John William Draperâs âHistory of the Conflict Between Religion and Scienceâ (1874)and Andrew Dickson Whiteâs âHistory of the Warfare of Science with Theology in Christendomâ (1896).
Atheists and agnostics championed the conflict thesis for their own purposes, but historical research gradually demonstrated that Draper and White had propagated more fantasy than fact in their efforts to prove that science and religion are locked in eternal conflict.â
end quote.
Also hereâs a illustration from the 15th century from the book âOn the Properties of Thingsâ by Bartholomeus Anglicus, showing the Earth covered in buildings and spires
Hereâs one from the 13th century, showing the 4 seasons on a spherical Earth
If there is one thing I want people to take away from this post, I really really want people to understand that people of the past were, by and large, no less intelligent than modern people; they were capable of the same problem-solving and pattern-recognition and titanic memorization that we are today. while any individual human may have been more or less capable (and universal education is by no means universal) people in the past were not dumb. not the cavemen, not the Bronze Age men, not the Dark Age men, none of them.
we are not better than them just because we live in the future, and we should remember that.
Just a note, modern damascus steel (and steel in general) is actually way better than old school damascus steel and we totally know how to make it, we just still donât know how to make it with the tech they had at the time.
History has a lot of stuff.
you must fix your heart // and you must build an altar where it rests

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Continuing my streak of being the only person on both Tumblr and Twitter to make fanart of this, apparently
Black Canary in Batgirl and The Birds of Prey #5 by Benson/Benson/Antonio