Laughing With Myself

my children have too many legs .. but they are handsome and strong

plot twist: you scream to your mom who’s in her room to come to the table because you already made the dinner

me, applying a hydrating serum to my skin: have a fucking sip babe

I WILL be posting ankle pics on dec 18th and it WILL be erotic

*takes off my leather jacket to reveal a second, secret leather jacket underneath*

you mean, skin?

What an absolutely terrifying addition to my post. Thank you.

this is my mom making stroganoff

reblog if u a lil ugly

why are there 5,000 people on this site holding back from doing something with literally zero repercussions for anyone in a world that will never remember the chances you didn’t take? don’t waste your time on this earth live your life slap some rice

Hi my job is literally to reset the shelves and honestly?? Slap that rice. Slap it good. patting down the bags makes it easier to stack more, which means when I have to do it it’ll be flatter and more settled and more likely that I can just slide it along without it slidin’ around. You are doing me a FAVOR by slapping that rice.

rice man approves

Slap that rice.  Slap it good.  Slap that ricebag just like you should.

WHY DOES THIS FIT SO WELL LIKE THEIR MOUTHS ARE SYNCING WITH THE SONG PERFECTLY AND THIS HASN’T EVEN BEEN EDITED THE FUCK

I like really small and tight cars makes me feel intimate with every passenger it’s very sexy to be in one with all the bros

a clown made this post

Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you’re so damn funny