im tired

i’m just tryna have a nice time despite knowing facts and information

my uncle Clit got his leg blown off by a landmine in the War on Christmas

Ive hired 2,000 finches to eat your freshly sown lawn seed

i believe "nothingburger" is the cowardly enemy of the humble and kind everything bagel

the unremarkable milquetoast sits somewhere in between

not the bell tolling LMAOOOO 🙈 i wonder for whom 🤔

you there. high quality production youtube channel with a team of people. why are your captions autogenerated.

stop getting so obsessed with fictional dudes like get real. start downloading millions of images of real men with families

you know im on somewhat of a mid journey myself

me as a youtuber making thousands of dollars off of video essays paraphrasing the Wikipedia articles for horrific travesties throughout European and Asian history: uhh okay I’m not even gonna TRY to pronounce that one 😂

one neat bonus of being a picky eater as a child is that adult life is filled with so many beautiful discoveries. have you guys heard about caesar salad? im turning 26 this week

"at least one"

now this is a gender binary i can get behind

Very generous of them to describe it as the "Thinking Period"

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

“bend over” “bend what? over”

I hate this place

She would NOT fucking shave that