the hurgling

hurdy gurdying or gurdly hurdying? 🤨

Harry Potter is trending at #1 on tumblr so I thought I’d take the opportunity to say fuck JKR, fuck transphobes, fuck her stupid books, her theme park, her endless landfill fodder merch slop, and her fucking castle on a hill. Read another book yall!! Read another book!!!!!!!

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

Whatever, I could take the frosty folds of the abominable snowman.

I'll go down on the yonic yeti canyon.

She can blizzard on my glizzard any day.

Tomorrow's a snow day and brother I'm breaking out the Flexible Flyer.

We're about to get indecent at Dyatlov Pass.

Call me the McFlurry machine the way I break it down inside her.

You can hang us upside down but nothing can get me off my dairy queen.

She's my storm warning the way we're preppin for six to eight inches overnight.

Yeah baby doll I'm one snow blower that has a lifetime guarantee. You can call me Mister Plow, I'll allow it.

Or call me Scrat with how I'm hiding my nuts in your ice age, it's all good. Just lemme put a little dulce de leche on your shaved ice okay?

I did all this work and nothin to snow for it

Hey are... are you okay?

​really puts the squat in Sasquatch

i am eating taco bell. there is no sign of land. you are coming down with me. hand in unwashed hand. and i hope you get the explosive diarrhea. i hope we both get the explosive diarrhea

This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.

Shapeshifter who gets horribly grotesque and mutilated when flustered

Yeah okay this is going on main