I cannot comprehend why anyone would hate classical music.

I think some people find it boring. I also think some people have never listened to Wagner.

Boring? BORING EXCUSE YOU!!!! HOW IS IT BORING?????

No clue, maybe not enough autotune?

Ahhh, Sibelius! My orchestra's playing him right now! Also--trombones were literally the instrument of death? And my conductor wanted the percussion section to crack a bullwhip for ~authenticity~? I once played in an orchestra that had anvils and hammers? Classical music is full of conductors throwing shade and composing out of spite and making fun of each other and themselves and just?? Immortalizations of despair and hate and hope and love?? The secret door knock of the Freemasons is hidden in music throughout musical history--if I'm remembering correctly, it's in Beethoven's 9th and Mozart's Magic Flute?? Thats? Just? So? Boring??

I needed this more than I care to admit

Nintendogs

For the record, I was lying. We were plotting something.

And all the things we were plotting are now coming to fruition.

So, for the record, this was the day we had lunch with the BBC and it became apparent that we really were going to make Good Omens. At that point, we were still looking for a writer. It would be six months before Terry told me that I had to do it and we decided that the writer had been found.

What a time to be an art historian and alive

@copperbadge?

@habitbynight: What was I saying about music the other day? 

So “my name is Cow… i lik the bred” seems to be the Hot New Meme, and I like it. Here’s an odd thing about it, though; a lot of the cutsey animal talk I see on the internet (especially birb-speak) sometimes reminds me of Middle English, but “lik the bred” takes it even further and sounds downright Chaucerian, and it isn’t just the rhyme and cadence. Some of the “lik the bred” pastiches I see around don’t really work because they’re in just plain doggo-fran speak (haven’t decided if Doggo-fran and Birb are the same thing or not), but the ones that really hit all the same notes as the original have something going on with the mangled vowels and spelling that’s not the same as the mangling in Doggo and/or Birb. Maybe some time I’ll gather up some examples and look closely at the vowels and spelling and try and sort out precisely what’s up.

@hobbitguy1420

my name is Cow i make yu think of likking bred and tayking drink i studdy buks that i have herd so wen yur gon i rite the werd.

now yu may think wen reeding this “yu typ with hoofs, wy dont yu miss?” i ask yu now be pashent, plees i type with tung i lik the kees

Re: the OP - I don’t think Doggo-fran and Birb-speak are the same at all, but it’s tricky to articulate why (probably because I’m not actually a linguist). I think Doggo-fran revolves around intentionally switching out syllables in words (or adding them onto mono-syllabic words) - although actually I’m not sure precisely what @runecestershire is referring to here but the other thing that comes to mind is the ‘bork’ meme speak which revolves mostly around the nonsense sentence structure ‘you are doing me a [verb]’. Both cases seem to me to be a lot more specific in usage than Birb-speak. Birb-speak revolves more around intentionally bad spelling and grammar, often with an overblown sense of urgency to imitate something being typed (and thus spoken) loudly, at high speed and with little accuracy (although there are two slightly different memetic forms of Birb-speak - one originating from the @probirdrights Twitter and the other from the @importantbirds Tumblr and their styles, while similar, are not identical). But the OP is indeed correct that proper-sounding ‘i lik the bred’ poems have a very specific structure and language to them which is distinct again from the other examples.

I thought this too…

apparently every nerd on tumblr thought this and for once it took a few days for one of us to write a treatise… are we okay?

ok, see - it took me awhile to come onboard with the lik the bred meme because I assumed it was a a parody of a Chaucerian poem that I hadn’t read and I kept meaning to research it to figure out what poem it was!

@copperbadge look what you’ve done!

Until this post I had no idea that this cow meme wasn’t a Chaucer parody. Like, I thought Sam had written a Chaucer parody with a cow and bread b/c he’s a hipster and everyone was like HOLY SHIT and that’s now the Cow Meme got started. I’m honestly startled that this wasn’t the case.

I don’t think he was aiming for Chaucer, exactly. Pretty sure he was just inspired by the idea of an 18th-century bakery and wanted to convey the time period somehow.

This is quality content that belongs on my blog.

@habitbynight: Anj! 

Oh my GODD THE POLAR BEAR GOT SOME SNOW HE MUST FEEL SO REFRESHED

OMG THE SEAL!

FUCKING HELL IT’S BACK FROM LAST YEAR

This literally gets reblogged every 15th of the month. It’s almost two years old. It’s beautiful.

“Commander, we must update the code of conduct to include the humans.” “Why? Are they more aggressive than we anticipated?” “It seems to be the opposite Commander. Just this morning a crewman nearly lost their hand when attempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown world. Their reaction to the attack was to call the creature a “mean kitty” and vow to win it over. Upon inquiry it seems they bond so readily with creatures outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alien creature they have never seen before simply because it appears distressed. I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy’s fauna.” “I see what you mean. So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown animals without permission from a superior officer. And send a message to supplies about acquiring one of these “puppies” so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated. 

Ehehehe I love this! Every time someone adds a short story to my post it gets like 90% cuter and more epic

Lets be honest, the humans would ignore the hell outta that rule whenever alone.

“Seriously. Get a supply of safe animals for the humans to bond with or they will make their own. I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent pets they can get… creative. Don’t even get me started on the time one of them taped a knife to one of our auto-cleaners and named it Stabby. Three weeks in and when we finally caught the wretched thing, half the humans on crew tried to revolt about us “killing” Stabby by removing the knife. “How… how did you resolve that sir?” “Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and strapped that on instead. Quite a creative solution, I suppose.” “And that sated the humans? “Worse.” “Worse?” “They thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped false eyes on springs to both and held mock battles. Then decided Stabby and Knifey were in love and now none of them will allow the others to stage fights between them any more.”

Stabby is an omniversal constant.

Oh my gods, we’re the Steve Irwins of the universe.

this is my fave thing. it can’t even be safe to assume humans would only attach themselves to only fuzzy, furry things. reptilian and even insectoid creatures are just as likely to be randomly selected as “this is a thing i love” by a human. “Excuse me, captain? Human-Rob requests that we … bring aboard … a Kilarn.” “A Kilarn? The giant poisonous and highly aggressive insectoid predator? Am I hearing you correctly?” “…. Yes ser.” “For the love of- WHY?” “I asked the same thing, to which they replied “he’s trying his best” in a distressed tone of voice.“ *captain sighs and holds head in hands*