Fantastic Fanatic Foxes

Toph: I’ve been banned from every major city’s transportation system except Omashu

So really, there is no reason that Captain America and Hawkeye can’t one day casually go out for hot dogs and end up fighting a literal army of carnival food. Steve slumps back to the tower reeking of processed meat product and sugar, followed by more dogs and cats and raccoons than he can shake a shield at. They manage to turn back the horde at the doors to the Tower, but Clint lets a persistent yellow Labrador in while Steve’s arranging with the guards for any unclaimed strays to be taken to a no-kill shelter.

Because how can you say no to this good good fur boy?

Clint sneaks off to update his Instagram account. Steve is too done to deal with anything anymore and so he just lets the pupper follow him to his suite. He drops the shield, strips off, and walks off to shower.

Meanwhile Tony is alerted that the pair have returned, a little bit worse for wear, and he asks whose gear is the most banged up. It’s Steve, of course, since he’s a close-range fighter. Steve’s location is announced as his suite, so up Tony goes.

Tony is a genius and he’s also seen some shit so of course his first thought is…

He is a scientist as well, so he confirms his hypothesis. He grabs the fuzz-face and says, “Cap?! Is that you? One bark for yes, two for no!”

Woof!

Incontrovertible proof. Steve Rogers has been turned into a dog.

This is going to take a lot of research, so Tony takes the lab down to the lab. He is also worried that Steve will starve to death now that he doesn’t have opposable thumbs, and orders in a ton of pizzas.

The dog is in love.

Jarvis stays quiet throughout this, because some puppy play time will be good for Tony’s serotonin levels.

Jarvis slows down the debug processes and simulation builds here and there so that Tony has more time to spend on the floor with his new therapist.

Jarvis also sends Steve some video feed, because he’s a little shit who has enough autonomy to override certain privacy protocols when he deems it in Sir’s best interests.

And Steve’s all

Clint: Yeah, knowing Tony he’ll succeed and then we’ll have no dog and two Caps. Lose-lose.

Steve: HEY.

Natasha: We’ll swap Steve and the dog the next time Tony passes out at his workbench. Just let him believe he succeeded.

Clint: Aw, doggie, no.

Steve: Well, Tony seems to really like having a dog around, and it seems to be helping with his overworking. Maybe we can pretend it’s a different dog, and adopt him as the tower mascot?

Natasha: That works. Jarvis, let us know the next time Tony crashes.

Jarvis: Sir is passed out on the couch at this very moment, Agent Romanoff.

*ridiculously long musical montage in which Steve and Nat idly chit chat in the elevator while Clint shimmies through various air ducts*

Steve: Okay, Clint, Nat, grab the dog. I’ll just…lay on the floor and pretend I was napping too, I guess, when Tony wakes up.

Natasha: You’re overlooking one detail.

Steve: What?

…and then Tony wakes up just as Natasha slides back into the elevator with an armful of clothing shreds.

this is a Good Opportunity considering i was never a big fan of fawkes’ movie design how about

AQUATIC (penguin)

No wait

this is terrible

put it back

the poor thing

Elegant

Classic

Like Cleopatra, he burns upon the water

Equal parts beauty and danger

Full of Secrets

But take it a few genes to the left and you’ve got a GOOSE

A raptor if raptors were total idiots

Neither beauty nor grace

Full of Hate

Has so much poop for you

@english-history-trip that is some powerful art, and I respect the trip that it represents from the sublime to the absurd, for in this journey we find enlightenment.

You know what birds those are?

FLAMINGOS!

Apologize

For

Shaming

HEY BUNJY.

So basically

it’s like. imagine you’re a prince and you’re used to getting everything you want and then suddenly your servant is this teen that regularly gets into fights with raccoons. this supposed alcoholic is just following you around and trying to fight everyone every second. every day you wake up to this kid like. attempting to put out a fire in your room and you just?? accept it??

or imagine you’re a knight and your one job is to protect the prince and this punk ass kid is just. throwing stuff at him. and the prince keeps threatening to stop him but he hasn’t?? and like this kid is scrawny but he’s about to throw a full table at your boss and instead of being responsible your knight friend Leon is just completely losing it. he’s not even breathing he’s in hysterics watching someone threaten the future king. he’s been laughing for a solid minute and you can’t even tell if he’s breathing. like??

THE OLD GUARD (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood

bonus: