The Rodrigues Family and the Art of Bad Arguments
Something I have found very telling about the Rod response to Timothy's post is the way they are poking holes in the details of what he said rather than actually saying "Mom and Dad never hit us."
At first, I was hung up on the focus on the baseball bat. Like, it is a weird tangent to go on by both Renee and Jonathan, but they both spend a while "debunking" the baseball bat claims. Surely a bat couldn't dent from hitting a person (it can). Surely they would have had to go to the doctor if it was that bad. How can a tool that is made to hit a baseball without denting (they can and do dent) then dent upon hitting a person? There was no medical documentation or CPS follow-up, so it obviously never happened (because abusers always give medical care to their victims, and social systems are infallible when it's convenient to your narrative /s).
But it's not just the bat. It's Nurie recounting one specific time that Tim touched something his mom said not to. (Because if we can distract from the issue with enough examples of his disobedience, maybe it'll seem like he deserved it.) It's Jonathan saying that David's apology and apparent reformation is a great example for Tim. (Because if David were abusive, it's in the past, and people can change! ... except for Tim, who has always been a liar.) It's Renee saying the culture is "soft and weak" for looking for someone else to blame. (Because when it doubt, attack a man's masculinity.)
Instead of "they didn't beat us," it's "they love us (so they could not hurt us)." "You were disobedient (so you must have deserved it.)" "You lied about small things (therefore you lie about big things)."
It's hard not to think of "The Narcissist's Prayer."
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
Like... obviously, Timothy did some heinous shit, by his own admission. AND he likely also suffered heinous shit at the hands of his parents. Two things can be true.
I'm nervous that Timothy is feeling very alone right now. He has alienated his family and in-laws. Heidi, by all accounts, is with her family. Not saying we need to throw him a pity party, but if he is going to reform and heal, how is he going to do that with no social support?
Ugh, everything about this sucks. I'm praying that Heidi and Charlie remain safe and that Timothy gets the help he needs. And that the Rodlets at home don't suffer what Tim has claimed goes on in that house.
