I’ve always quite fancied being someone who travels for work, think that would be quite glam, but this week I am actually travelling for a conference and it took me several hours to pack because I started spiralling about what to wear on different days and how many pairs of trousers to take. My toiletries bag is bulging and I’m having to make my fashion trainers double as running shoes.

Went to Westfield today to try and get shoes for an event on Thursday which was a huge mistake. Failed to get shoes and nearly had a panic attack in M&S of all places because it was so busy, and I was also looking for holiday stuff and all the clothes in the shops are TERRIBLE! Everything is either for 16 year olds or really frumpy. What’s a wannabe cool girl in her early 30s to do! Daytime stuff is fine but I need nice outfits for dinners/going out. I got a nice dress from the Mango Eckhaus Latta collab and a v fun silver top from Zara but otherwise I am shit out of luck atm. And what fucking shoes do you wear to the club in Ibiza anyway cause I can’t be wearing heels and I’m not doing cowboy boots. Help!!!

Went all the way to South London for live band karaoke and not a single person in our group got to sing. And now I’m too drunk to go to sparring tomorrow and can’t go to Sally C at Fold as was the original plan because Ally is working and the times don’t align and it’s in the middle of nowhere. So I’m pished for no reason. What a WASTE I wanted to sing Shania.

Am getting a second opinion autism assessment even though I don’t actually think I want one anymore, because I asked for it 3 years ago and that’s how long it takes on the NHS so now that it’s come around I don’t feel able to tap out. Just filled out the stupid behavioural scale thing and I hate it so much!!! “I enjoy caring for people” - how is just answering agree or disagree supposed to express my feelings about that question, which are: “I care so so much about other people and love them deeply and I really wish I was a nurturing caring person, but it does not come naturally to me in the slightest and that makes me feel so awkward and like a massive failure because I just don’t know what to do or say, and every day I loathe myself for that, I hate that when my grandpa was dying I just didn’t know what to do or to say to him or to anyone, and it makes me feel like a cold monster even though I am so FULL of FEELINGS! And I am scared to ever have a child because I’m worried I will be an evil cold hearted terrible mother.” It’s so fucking STUPID! When I email it back to them, is it a bad idea to also send a word doc explaining how I feel about it? Are they even going to read that if I do? The fact there are multiple questions about caring whether people/animals are in pain also sits very badly with me btw, at least those ones are easy to answer. No I did not enjoy cutting up worms as a child to see what would happen.

Week 8/9 adapalene update: still waking up with several new spots every week but I can’t believe how glowy my skin looks now? I’ve always thought my skin was a bit dull looking and now it feels so shiny and nice. I’m also not flaky anymore, not sure if that’s adjustment or the different moisturiser/toner I’m using but I’m glad because the first few weeks were v annoying. Hopefully in another few weeks The Purge will be over and I’ll have the skin of my dreams.

Charli doing a surprise DJ set at our wedding venue tonight… I am such a trendsetter… Lauren XCX

25 days til we’re in Paris, 26 days til we’re in Marseille, 28 days til we’re in Barcelona, 30 days til we’re in Ibiza… I CAN’T WAIT! Except I can because I have hardly any holiday clothes and need to sort this out. Spending crazy amounts of time on Vinted rn

Ally is on a train to Glasgow that’s so busy he and several other people are having to sit on the floor, and some family in the unreserved carriage has their dog on a cushion on a seat?? A window seat at a table, presumably so it’s awkward to ask them to move it. Dog owners need to be STOPPED man

Deleting the Reddit app (again) because too many people are moaning about the weather, sorry guys but I spent this evening drinking wine outdoors with my friends feeling positively Mediterranean you will never make me hate this.

Declan Rice Summer (failing to get a tan)