inactive since 2018

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

#should i mention gollum? #i don’t know orc standards#but he seems like an ultra-twink for orcs #just saying

Shoulder Bags / Backpacks / Bike Panniers / Cosmetic Bags

Leafling Bags on Etsy

Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all.

“Are you fucking kidding me I worked in a reagrent shop for a few years I don’t trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes.”

“Yeah I was in the circle that made Alston’s Divine Circle of Teleportation. There’s some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It’s way safer.”

“I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? ‘Medium Conduit Ruinic Circles’? That’s just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don’t even interact with each other.”

and then we realized: AGRICULTURE.

when he was studying the nature of chi and the world’s life force, he traveled through hundreds of rural villages, taking notes on their local gods and nature spirits. and the thing about farmers is, they do experiments, but they don’t think of them as experiments. they document their experiments, but they don’t think of it as documentation. they just know that you gotta write down livestock breeding details or you get birth defects. they know crossing the yellow beans with the curly beans might increase your yield, but it might also give you a whole lotta nothing, so you don’t stake your whole year’s crop on it. you do a test plot out by the outhouse and take notes on when it sprouts, how much rain it gets, and so on, so you know if you wanna save the seeds and plant the whole farm with them next year, or just shrug and make bean soup.

for a wizard who was trained classically – which is to say, very ivory tower, very predisposed to think of magic as The Art and something rarefied and pure, like philosophy or mathematics – this was a huge revelation. what if instead of just doing the whole huge spell all at once and praying it doesn’t make your bones boil instead of working right, you sort of… test it. in bits. test the circle and see if the energy flows right. test the materials and see if they have the right resonances. write it all down. document everything. don’t plant all your beans at once.

then he goes and becomes king of brighthaven, and all the city wizards are like. that’s. not how you wizard. that’s so undignified. that’s so common. and gareth is like, well, you know, it works real good, so i care what you think why?

You ever put your arms out and spin really, really fast? Well, that’s what love is like. It makes your heart race. It turns the world upside down. But if you’re not careful, if you don’t keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can’t see what’s happening to the people around you. You can’t see that you’re about to fall.