Can I Get An Egg On A Mu'fucca

clueless white guy orders food in perfect chinese and is invaded by dark spirit 2 chainz

it’s the year 2080. the expressions “the horse has left the hospital” and “between a crematorium and a dildo store” have fully entered the lexicon even though barely anyone remembers where they originated. one day the kids who live in the Amazon Temperate Habitat Bubble next door ask me what was between the proverbial crematorium and dildo store in the first place. i rip off my Amazoxygen® Ventilator and gasp, “the fucking horse” and immediately die from the polluted air in my probably-covid-ravaged lungs. haunted by these cryptic last words, the kids bury themselves in the ancient runes of the Internet Archive until they find the meme that unlocks it all. the horse was one of the last presidents of the late american empire, a lynchpin in the slow disintegration of the union. suddenly, a drone flies directly through the window. “forbidden word detected: ‘union’,” it says, gearing up its Amazon Brainbuster Electric Reinforcement System. they run

Yoooo why aren't we irradiating strawberries anymore wtf🤦

literally how can you call yourself a socialist if you’re not willing to line up and be milked

i bet those colors only shrimp can see suck major ass

jealousy isn’t the way bro

if this pandemic was happening in 2011 every mask would have a fake mustache printed on it or would bacon-patterned and i for one think that is a silver lining

fuck this *unfocuses my eyes*