What Is 9th Grade?

A student fell out of his chair (he’s fine!!), and it’s hard to describe how happy it made me to have even one shenanigan.

Even when they volunteer to act out scenes from Romeo & Juliet only for the foam swords and not for a love of theater. Even when they can’t get through their lines without giggling. Even when they miss their stage cues. Even when characters who are supposed to be dead are still waving those swords around in weird places and hitting each other.

— a freshman who feels strongly about whiteboard marker etiquette

When he returned, he was wearing a plastic top hat. His explanation was simply that another student had two of these hats, so he gave him one. This other student, the previous owner of both plastic top hats, is a former freshman of mine. It’s the circle of life.

— a freshman’s weirdly matter-of-fact response to my confused look from across the room

Today, my freshmen sang “Feliz Cumpleaños” to Google Classroom, which turned 5.

— a freshman in my homeroom who thought maybe, just maybe, I was suggesting a group pee when I said they should go before being called down for yearbook photos

We were discussing the setting of The Boys in the Boat. Not quite the same thing.

A couple of my freshman boys (strike one) we’re giggling (strike two) and tucking their hands in their armpits (strike three) while trying to convince me that they weren’t playing some game that would eventually end with touching each other.

Student 2: *stabs Student 1 with the eraser end of a pencil without hesitation*

— my students who put the “fresh” in freshman

— a freshman’s response to “what have you learned so far about growing up?” for which I did not request an explanation

Don’t juul, kids. You’re stressing out your teachers.

— an excellent suggestion from a freshman when I returned to find the rest of her class clapping and cheering for someone who had written a one-word answer on the whiteboard

The same class of freshmen who drew toucans on their vocab quizzes started drawing flamingos today. One had four stick legs. Another had visible, chiseled abs. We’re super good at birds.

These freshman boys never stop touching each other.