Ree Marie ♥️

“you’re not being buried, your being planted” that’s what they say right ? i’ve been planted + i’ve sprouted before . i feel like i outgrew the pot i was in + now i’m being dug up + replanted . all in all i’m blessed , been blessed . but in all of my praying + seeking the father he is showing me where i was still hiding , the pain that still was untouched , un-dealt with .. that’s the thing about praying for healing , peace , fruits of the spirit . he deal with YOU! funny how i’m pregnant going through all of this , it’s like i’m birthing a new woman , a new heart . i’m kind of conflicted right now which i’ll talk about in my book … but it’s all apart of the process . i just have to laugh + enjoy the space i’m in bc i prayed for it … i just didn’t know it would look like this 🌷✨ i appreciate it though , it keeps me humble , keeps me from being vain + falling into my ego , keeps me away from back tracking + falling back into my wicked flesh + carnal ways of thinking . i’m truly going to appreciate this part of my life bc it’s building on what he has already started . to be honest , i was + am still falling short i subconsciously let this physical reality dictate too much even though i know in my heart none of this really matters . in short , God has allowed me to deal w rejection on my path for a huge part of my life + i used to be mad + bitter about it but i see how he used it to get me to lean on him + not have my faith , peace , happiness + self worth based on praise , being the center of attention , accolades + the like . but this path also come w dealing w the wounds it caused when you were unaware of your purpose + rejection took root . then once rejection took root , it opened the door for all manners of self protection mechanisms … people pleasing to be liked , rejecting yourself to be what others liked , eating at your self esteem , the way you view yourself , which led to alcohol abuse , fornication , surrounding yourself w people + noise + distractions until you can no longer focus on what’s really hurting you . + thankfully god delivered me from escaping . so now when these old wounds are touched , + new situations expose a deeper root , there is no running . it’s just you + him facing yourself , facing that internal darkness . i can see + feel the woman i’m becoming + i love her so much already ✨

so wait ... are we still on tumblr. yawl still out there 👀

‪if it hurts i can turn it in to art , maybe i crave the depths of sorrow ‬

i’m hurting , because i don’t understand . i don’t understand at the moment what i am going to or what you have for me . i want to be signed to wilhelmina so bad , so very bad . i get on instagram everyday and see these girls get signed because they already have thousands of followers . the 3D me wants to cry and break down . i’ll be 24 this year , am i too old ? do they already have enough girls of “my type”? what is it , because my heart is truly hurting right now . i know i will find the answer in the future & as i keep walking towards my purpose it will be clear to me but as of now , i’m hurting .