AP Doctorology

It is pitch black outside and someone is mowing their lawn

power move

Update: the someone is my father

does he have a flashlight

sounds like a dad to me

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

never trust a person who talk to their pets in their normal voice

NOT TRUE before my nephew leaves my home he always looks my dog straight in the eye and says “Delilah. You are a wonderful woman. Have a good day.”

best unloved characters from the harry potter universe: those bulgarians who tricked fudge into thinking they couldnt speak english for months

The more you know about something, the less likely you are to brag about your knowledge in that area

only sexy bitches sit on kitchen counters that’s the law

My own attitude stress me out sometimes. I be mad at me for being mad

If your masculinity is threatened by a razor advert, it is fragile indeed.