Oh No, You Found Me

i know in my heart of hearts that within the pokémon universe it’s all the really cute popular marketable pokémon that have the most irresponsible trainers. small dog syndrome ramped up to a whole new level. that is not a toy that is a lifelong commitment. ma’am please keep your untrained sylveon in its pokéball inside the store. no that is not a service pokémon it wouldn’t be using moonblast on everything if it was

sir! sir!!! your pikachu is decimating the ducklett population at the pond and you aren’t even looking! you are NOT ash ketchum you are NOT gonna catch ‘em all because that involves trade evolutions and you have NO friends!!!

if one more middle aged mom tells me that i should’ve kept my raichu a pikachu because ‘she’s much cuter that way’ i’m sending out my full team and throwing hands right there in the starbucks

The amount of side-eye and “discreet” nose pinches my trubbish gets despite them being cleaner than the Lillipup that’s currently sniffing the weird spot on the subway floor and probably never got a bath in its life 😒 Also my trubbish literally doesn’t smell because I’ve already befriended it and it only gets residential garbage that’s good for its gut and therefore the (lack of) gas.

"having sex with your friends is basically incest" is a take of all time

Reblog if you have incestuous desires about your friends

I must confirm with my nerd friend but if so that is amazing

joining the war on pigeons on the side of pigeons

friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her

"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both

i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.

bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup

Either people need to learn how to tell the difference between an “I’m sorry” that takes direct responsibility and an “I’m sorry” that signifies sympathy, or I’m gonna start responding to unfortunate information with a solemn nod and a “Sympies,” because I am tired of receiving a “Why? It wasn’t your fault” every time I try to vocalize compassion.

please reblog this if it is okay to anonymously confess something to you.