They got me a long time ago

I don’t care how unfair things are in your life, put some goddamn headphones on in public

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

How fucking old are you people?

normal amount

They weren't happy noises.

They were polite and reasonable noises! The sound of protocol being followed! Negotiation and compromise!

The box would scream

in retrospect we should maybe have taken the unholy screams as a warning

To be fair, Spain’s PG version is the cucumber one, but the more used one which uses dick would roughly translate to “It sweats my dick” or “It sweats it” (With the implication of being genital related)

lol this slaps

HOLD BABY JESUS RANSOM UNTIL ST. ANTHONY RETURNS YOUR FREAKING KEYS

where the hell are my pneumatic tubes this is not the future jules verne promised

i do not want 'email' i want little brass capsules that go "shwump"

you're not just misinterpreting the characters, you're misinterpreting the entire story because you're thick in the head. once again i have to bear the burden of having every correct opinion in the world.

once had a conversation with a greek where he got mad about someone calling it "turkish coffee" cause it was really greek coffee and since then I've had on backburner the idea that if I ever end up in a conversation with a greek where alexander the great comes up I'm gonna go "oh I heard somewhere he was actually a turk" and see where that takes us

This is like reading the diary of an ancient Chinese alchemist who just discovered gunpowder, noted it was somewhat flammable, and wrote that he wondered what would happen if you put it in a tube so all the fire went out one end.

#literally all you have to say is that he was macedonian

thinking about how the world would be better if more people understood the differences between 'the author failed to tell the story they wanted to tell' and 'the author told the story they wanted to tell, but they told it badly' and 'the author told the story they wanted to, and they told it well, but it wasn't the story I wanted to read'

‘stories can resonate with you even when the characters are nothing like you’ is something a 6 year old would understand but it needs to be explained to fandom adults on tumblr

The 5 finnish dudes bring him home with them.  The next day, the chinese dude wakes up on the couch with a mighty hangover.   He turns on the TV and for the first time in his life sees Moomintroll.  Instant spiritual bonding experience.  Overcome with emotion,  he begins to sing an ode to Snufkin in a high clear tenor voice. The 5 finnish dudes hastily call their live-in wise old mentor.  “Yes,” says the mentor after watching chinese dude for a few minutes.  “The prophecy was true.  This is the chosen one.  This man…will be our 2020 Eurovision act.”

Please. I need this indie film.