Recently Ressurected

vampires who vow never to turn someone but end up doing so out of love and fear of losing them have me nodding my head like yup that’s the good shit right there.

my thrall told me it wanted to be more independent so i imprisoned its soul in a necklace. how's that for in de pendant you little shit

official amulet post

the cursed amulet stays ON during sex

i know im the one who insisted, but now i feel like you're focusing too much on the cursed amulet during sex? im here too

wait guys its december no no no my brain is still comprehending the end of october 

WAIT IT’S DECEMBER??

Looks like we succeed in no November November

As a Latin scholar, ad delirium is not only correct but also a wonderful use of language 👍

Sweet! This is a valuable addition to my arts and crafts vocabulary.

Lakes and graveyards are very similar in that if you detonate a large explosion inside either one a lot of dead bodies come to the surface.

Hi, um. How is being the necromancer's apprentice going for you OP?

You want I should raise dead, I raise dead, no problem. You want banish dead, no problem, have plenty more nitro. I do this, ten minutes.

CHUNKY STEW IS NOT BANISHMENT.

Chunky stew, very bad necromancer. We banish, no problem, no chunks. I give you number of cousin Yvgeny. Will power wash house, very good prices. No other necromancer does this for you.

Is....is...is Yvgeny....alive?

Eh. Is alive enough.

the thing about body horror is that there's nothing you can come up with that can compete with what the human body will do to itself under a sufficient amount of stress

EXCEPT ‼️ radiation poisoning. that shit is fuuuuuucked.

Hey emetfuckers pspspsps can I rec a game to you specifically? The video preview might already make it clear why I'm making this rec on this blog, but if you didn't catch it, go play, it's a short and sweet game that inspires thoughts about the immortal villain's side of the story.

Modern vampire who has spent the last 70-ish years of their immortality primarily being slutty in nightclubs and non-lethal snacking on hookups shocked and uncomfortable that most vampires older than the lightbulb are really into torture and cruelty and eating babies alive. Super excited to finally meet his own kind and then oh no. oh fuck. time out wtf are they doing. this is profoundly unsexy they bit that guy’s arm off and are letting him crawl around screaming and crying. there’s not even any kissing or grinding or club music. is this normal?? i am Going to throw up i’ve gotta get these poor ppl out of here. askjeeves how to smuggle 30 naked prisoners (assorted genders) out of vampire mansion time sensitive.

dude why do you have The Killer as your emergency contact

lot of people dont realize this but when theres a battle you can get all kinds of free shit from all the #deadbodies

"why does this nonsexual power dynamic sound so sexual" i have some news for you about the dominant social relationship between sex and power

i am also a corrosive pervert. that's not relevant right now though.

purposefully leaving small typos in my writing in the age of chatgpt the same way an ancient artisan leaves small errors in their weaving to let the bad spirits out