evil and villainous

Didn't realize they made emergency thermal blankets for babies

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

what's that? gen z is trying to make me jerk off and moan like a girl?

it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living

mommy needs a drink

mommy needs an edible

mommy needs a different generational curse

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

I realize this is a cast iron gate but I’m choosing to believe it’s a magic protection ritual

It IS a magic protection ritual, and it summons an iron gate to protect you from intruders. 

“I cast Iron Gate!”

As a blacksmith I have been called a wizard by several small kids

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured