Iâve invented âThe Knife-Wielding Tentacle'đ
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@realcanadianmoose
Iâve invented âThe Knife-Wielding Tentacle'đ

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The Voice in the Night
(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4 - end)
Some is better than none. Some is better than none. Some is better than none. Walking for three minutes, is better than nothing. Drinking a glass of water and eating a snack, is better than nothing. Wiping down the counter, is better than nothing. Small things are not nothing. Small things are not nothing. Small things are not nothing. You donât have to achieve grand things if all youâre capable of right now is the smaller things. They are still achievements. Donât do nothing just because you donât think youâre capable of doing bigger things, just do something youâre capable of today. ďżź
btw if youâre fat and your partner doesnât love you wholeheartedly, if theyâre attracted to you âdespiteâ your body, if they avoid touching you, if they look away from certain parts of you, youâre allowed to break up with that person. look at me. you can do better. you are not unloveable and you donât have to settle i fucking promise.
[Image Description: tags by user biblicalhorror that read #also goes for physical disability btw. End ID.] ALSO GOES FOR DISABILITY, DISABILITY JUSTICE AND FAT LIBERATION INTERTWINED 4 FUCKING EVER I LOVE U FAT PEOPLE I LOVE U DISABLED PEOPLE I LOVE U FAT DISABLED PEOPLE YOUR BODY IS NOT A BURDEN ON THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU !!!!
one year ago i asked my partner if she would still like me if i gained [X] pounds. she gave a convincing yes. that much weight gain felt almost unthinkable then. i've gained twice that much weight this year. it's been no problem.
i also for unrelated reasons ended up a full-time wheelchair user with lots of care needs. we are figuring it out and taking it on together.
good people are out there. people who will look at your fat and/or disabled body and feel love and lust because they see you. they are out there. you truly do not have to settle.
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. đ.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
Oh my goodness you're my hero this is so beautiful
Holy fuck my job got fan art

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Finally, an open hardware printer you can actually understand, repair, and upgrade
Open Printer is an open-source, repairable inkjet printer designed for makers, artists, and anyone tired of throwaway hardware. Built with standard mechanical components and modular parts, itâs easy to assemble, modify, and repair. You can print on standard sheets or paper rolls and choose between black or color cartridges, refillable at your convenience.
This project aims to reclaim our everyday tools. As such, it features no proprietary drivers, no cartridge DRM that locks you to a single vendor and is designed to never become obsolete. The Open Printer is built for longevity and customizability, ensuring that it remains fully under your control.
What are some chronic illnesses that can only occur in a fantasy setting?
Partial transformation - mummy rot is slowly turning you to sand, a near miss from a medusa left you with partially stoned body parts, etc.
Hypnotic suggestions from being mind controlled persist after the controllerâs death, causing the victim to occasionally take actions to support the cause of a mind flayer cult that no longer exists.
Repeated demonic possession has left the patient with permanent gaps in their soulâs defenses, causing them to immediately get re-possessed if they go outside a consecrated area.
Post-resurrection trauma as the revived soul remembers an unpleasant afterlife.
Magical healing can get very weird if something is stuck in the wound. Itâll get you back on your feet, but you can get outcomes like âthereâs a chunk of wood fused into your chest because the magic couldnât figure out how to get the arrow out of your chest and just healed it in place,â and this can cause mobility issues or infection vectors down the line.
SHealth tied to something else - the health of a tree, the amount of frost on the ground, the inverse of another personâs, the political power of whoever cursed you
Curse of bad luck - makes any small illness or injury potentially fatal if not treated with anti-curse in addition to anti-infection procedures
Magical reliance on a magical or nonmagical substance - can have any number of side effects
Repeatedly being drunk by vampires can cause an increase in blood production and therefore high blood pressure and related ailments. Can be treated by blood letting.
Thereâs a lot of hybridization happening in a lot of fantasy settings, and thatâs just asking for a lot of people with weird half-dragon genetic disorders. Works out fine for some people, not so much for others.
Parasitized by (insert creature here). If you donât take the correct precautions to keep it dormant it will continue to spread and eventually hatch out/transform you.
Repeated contact with the undead has left you open to their influence - leading to hearing or seeing things that other mortals canât, which can distort or distract from more mundane concerns.
Alternately to being more vulnerable to intrusion, oneâs soul can form a scar that makes helpful magic more difficult to take in.
Sleep disorders that make one fall into an impenetrable sleep at a specific trigger, or to do so for years at a time.
Out of phase with 4D space, oneâs body not connected to itself or anchored in place/time in the usual way. There could be a consistent two hour gap between the things you hear and what has happened, you might clip into the floor as if it was in a different place for you, or you might slide through the material plane in cross section.
Intermittent intangibility.
Split into two people, each with only half your traits.
Stuck in a mirror.
Sensitivity to ambient magic - like the thing where peoplesâ joints ache before a storm but for being near ley lines or people with a lot of magic built up or other magic reservoirs. - The potential for magic, but where the magic has not yet begun.
Heal spell dependency: years of repeated serious injuries being healed by magic causes the body to stop healing naturally. seen often in professional fighters and those with a long career in hazardous occupations.
the forgotten dread: memory modification magic has caused the subjectâs conscious mind to forget some past trauma, but their subconscious still remembers, causing them emotions that they cannot explain or justify ranging from mild discomfort to blind panic when presented with triggers related to the aforementioned trauma. often encountered in cases where the subject has paid an unscrupulous mage to make them forget their past as an ill-advised alternative to therapy.
Psychically Transmitted Memories: the subjectâs mind has been linked to another personâs and, although the bond has since been severed, they have retained memories or thought patterns from the other person that are difficult to distinguish from their own.
Negative Life Syndrome (previously âFalse Life Syndromeâ): seen most often in cases when the subject is exposed to dark magic while in the womb, Negative Life Syndrome leaves the subjectâs life energies tainted by undeath without making them truly undead. common symptoms include intolerance of radiant magic, aversion to sunlight, and the inability to set foot on hallowed ground; rare symptoms include healing from negative energies, sudden necrosis, and the desire to eat flesh or drink blood of living beings.
lycanthropy
Early Life Possessions: the subject was possessed by a spirit or demon during early childhood or infancy, and the possessing presence was in control of them when they learned important milestones, such as how to walk or speak. The subject is now dependant upon the possessing presence to help them perform these tasks or, in cases where the presence has since been exorcised, performs the relevant tasks at a level appropriate for an infant or small child.
Body requires nutrients not found in human food, and you must eat rocks, or gems, or some other alternative. You may or may not have the ability to actually digest these without magical assistance
Awareness of too many dimensions makes it difficult to interact with just this one - either to keep track of conversations, or walk to specific locations without ending up on another planet instead
Telekinetic psychosis - delusions tend to physically affect those around you (but HIGH chance for ableism in this one!)
you have flare-ups where your skin tends to slough off and be replaced by some other substance
After sharing life energy with a dying loved one, youâre now both trying to survive off one personâs supply. Like chronic fatigue, but if your loved one gets too big of a bruise you wonât have the energy to get up until it heals
living in reverse
stuck at a certain age
supersenses lead to constant overstimulation
youâre a changeling, and if you donât have someone who loves you close by, youâll turn back into sticks and mud
One that I like is the idea that paladins (and anybody else with supernatural immunity to disease) have their own âdiseaseâ in the form of severe allergies. If youâre magically insulated from ever catching any disease, ever, your immune system isnât getting any kind of natural use. So it overreacts to everything. Being immune to being sick makes them âsick.â
Mages that have complications of their own magic, such as Pyromancers overheating if they donât let off a fireball now and then, or conversely, being prone to hypothermia and needing their fire magic in order to stay warm.
recently saw ppl discuss whether they put their medicines in a kitchen cabinet or a bathroom cabinet and i was shocked by the fact that many ppl said kitchen cabinet. so now i need you to reblog this and say where you keep yours
My family keeps almost all of our medicine either on top of the microwave or in a purse đ
thinking about statues of Grace being built all around Erid years after his passing so he can continue to watch over Eridians as they sleep
Everyone stop, Rockyâs tattoos/carvings just dropped

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"sometimes when you're disabled you Technically Can do the thing if you REALLY have to, it just sucks bad and has Consequences and cant be done consistently/regularly, and this is still valid as a real form of disability and doesn't mean you just need to suck it up" and "sometimes when you're disabled you truly deeply cannot do the thing no matter what even if the fate of the entire world depended on it you're just physically not capable" are facts that are simultaneously true but people seem to believe only one or the other for some reason
Did you hear a new love language just dropped? yeah its crazy. Its called just fuckin biting them.
reblogging this but shaking my head the whole time to show i don't believe in love languages
Reblogging this while biting someone and shaking my head the whole time to rend flesh
Trevor Noah interviewing Judith âBadassâ Heumann
x
Iâm glad so many people have discovered Judith âJudyâ Heumann through this silly little gif set. I am sorry to say she has died at the age of 75. She was known as the mother of disability rights. In 1970 she sued the Board of Education to become a licensed teacher and she won. In 1977 she was one of the organizers of the 504 Sit-in, a 24 day protest for disability rights. You can learn more about her story from her book Being Heumann, the picture book Fighting for YES! or the documentary Crip Camp.
Judy Heumann believed in the inherent value of each disabled individual and would never back down on what she thought was right. Her friends and fellow activists remember her as a strong leader.
Judy Heumann
December 18, 1947 - March 4, 2023
May her memory be for a blessing.
I did a paper on her for one of my college classes! Sheâs so cool! Hereâs some facts!
Sheâs Jewish and born to immigrant german parents who migrated in the 1930s
She has been in a wheelchair for nearly her entire life due to contacting polio at a very young age.
Due to her wheelchair, she was actually barred from most schooling including kindergarten as her wheelchair was deemed as a ârisk.â because it could be âin the wayâ if there was a fire.
She was the first wheelchair teacher in New York after suing when she was once again denied her license for the same reasons she was denied kindergarten.
She worked as the Assistant Secretary of Education for OSERS for 8 years
Her parents, especially her mother, were big parts in her becoming an activist as her mother Ilse was a community organizer and fought hard to get her daughter as much education as she could, it was her activism that helped her daughter and other disabled children be allowed to enroll in High School instead of being separated into a specific disabled school. (We donât have time to go into all that but tldr; those schools sucked and its a genuine accomplishment disabled kids no longer have to learn in like, cramped attics that didnât teach anything)
She was a founder of the organization Disabled in Action! She didnât just organize sit-ins, she helped RUN the organization that was organizing them!
The president she butted heads with the most was Richard Nixxon, this isnât that important I just know everyone loves when he gets dunked on
She helped CREATE THE INDIVIDUALS WITH DISABILITIES EDUCATION ACT!!! I cannot express to you just how important that is, if you have basically any kind of disability, this act is a big reason you were able to go to a public school instead of being shoved into a warehouse.
The Black Panthers helped with the 504 sit-in! They helped bring food because the organization also included black disabled people, and one of the members of both, Brad Lomax, asked for help!
She had a podcast! You can go listen to that podcast right now!
Honestly just check out her website in general
She also founded the Berkeley Center for Independent Living!!
Honestly I could keep going on but sheâs genuinely one of my heroes and was an amazing person who it is not an underestimate to say changed the world for the better.
May her memory be a blessing!!! May the disabled community always remember how much of it was built on the work and back of a disabled Jewish woman!!!
At the risk of sounding anti-intellectual, I think that college should be free and also not a requirement for employment outside of highly specialized career fields
At the risk of sounding like an effete intellectual, I do actually think you should be allowed to just take college courses indefinitely
technically you can, if you don't care about degrees.
Free Harvard courses. Free Courses from Stanford. Free Courses from MIT. Free courses from Yale. Free courses from Princeton.
Free courses on Coursera.
Free Courses on EDx Free Courses on Alison
For paid, there's The Great Courses+/Wonderium. 20$ a month for unlimited courses.
When searching, the phrases you're looking for are Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs), or you can do a general search of say, "free online college courses." Oh, and so you don't get surprised like I did, have an avoid: Hillsdale College is a conservative Christian site and not a valid MOOC place. Sign up with them and you will get things like THIS IS WHY THE LEFT IS TURNING YOUR KIDS TRANS AND GAY in your inbox.
@yourunderwaterskies I wanted to say thank you so much for adding these links, seriously, they've been life-changingly helpful to me-
And I also wanted to mention that humanitarian organisations have free courses too, like the Red Cross on international humanitarian law.
Learn more about the Red Cross International Humanitarian Law (IHL) Program to train policy professionals, government officials, academics,
Kaya is a free humanitarian learning platform which offers hundreds of training opportunities across a range of key topics, including the hu

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softshell and hardshell books
paperback and hardcover turtles
random PSA, I know a lot of people use duckduckgo as a Google alternative search engine, but it always kind of annoyed me when I was using it because it felt like No Name Brand Google
I have switched to using Startpage.com and vastly prefer it. for one thing, instead of displaying an "AI summary" at the top of the search results (unless you turn it off, yes I know), it displays the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article, with link, whenever it finds one that's relevant.
also a waaayyyyy better sense of design than duckduckgo
also private, European based, least annoying search I've used lately (RIP old "don't be evil" Google)
Keeping a list of Google alternatives just in caseâŚ
i have one of those, scraped from multiple different rec posts:
Search Engines
Infinity Search is an alternative search engine with a special focus on privacy
DuckDuckGo is a popular search engine for those who value their privacy and are put off by the thought of their every query being tracked and logged. Uses bangs, ![site] for in-page search (sells your data to microsoft and draws from fucking bing)
WolframAlpha is a privately owned search engine that allows you to âcompute expert-level answers using Wolframâs breakthrough algorithms, knowledgebase, and AI technology.â A data search engine.
Boardreader is a search engine for forums and message boards. It allows you to search forums and then filter down results by date and language.
Based in France, Qwant is a privacy-based search engine that wonât record your searches or use your personal details for advertising. Uses â&â as a bang search.
Another privacy-based search engine is Search Encrypt, which uses local encryption to ensure that usersâ identifiable information cannot be tracked. Metasearch across multiple engines.Â
Offering unbiased results from several sources, SearX is a metasearch engine that aims to present a free, decentralized view of the internet. Can be self-hosted.Â
Gibiruâs tagline is âUnfiltered private searchâ and thatâs exactly what it offers. Requires AnonymoX Firefox add-on for privacy.Â
Disconnect allows you to conduct anonymous searches through a search engine of your choice.
Swisscows provides fully encrypted searches to protect your privacy and security. Built-in violence/porn filter cannot be overridden.Â
MetaGer offers âPrivacy Protected Search & Findâ through its anonymised search. A plugin will allow it to be made a default.
Gigablast is a private search engine that indexes millions of websites and servers real-time information without tracking your data, keeping you hidden from marketers and spammers. Variety of filtration and refinement options for searching.Â
Oscobo is a search engine that protects your privacy while you search the web. By not using any third-party tools or scripts, your data is protected from hacking and misuse. Has a Chrome extension to allow use in toolbar.Â
https://search.marginalia.nu/ an independent DIY search engine that focuses on non-commercial content, and attempts to show you sites you perhaps weren't aware of in favor of the sort of sites you probably already knew existed. Use old-school searching rather than query-based for the best results.Â
https://www.mojeek.com/Â
https://wiby.me/ - Itâs goal is to index as many personalized websites as possible, and NOT commercial sites.Â
https://4get.ca/ it works a lot like SearX, but honestly better. It doesnât have its own index, but pulls from many others. I think itâs the best for research, since it allows you to search for answers from different indexes, is easy to configure, add free, and avoids censorship as much as it can.
https://www.searchenginemap.com/ for more on how search engines relate to each other.
https://yep.com/ is a crawler
https://www.etools.ch/ retrieves from Google, Mojeek, Bing, and Yandex, like Searx
https://www.dogpile.com/Â
https://searxng.org/ (next gen Searx)
https://luxxle.com/ - possibly conservative?
https://presearch.com/ - good for academic?
https://kagi.com/smallweb - free/randomised Kagi.
Other Searchers
www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.
www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.
https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.
www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.
http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.
www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.
www.base-search.net is one of the most powerful researches on academic studies texts. More than 100 million scientific documents, 70% of them are free.https://cosine.club/ is an electronic music similarity search engine