11/7/20; Inspired by Colors by Stella Jang; One shot, not an excerpt. Implications of SA and suicide.
Bright tangerine settles on curious cobalt, tiny, thin fingers reaching out to poke a moist chubby cheek. The boy makes a sound of dismay, eyes narrowing as the girl smiles, settling beside him. He doesn’t answer and she doesn’t ask again, turns to him a beat later and says:
“You look blue. Like your eyes! Are you blue?”
When she’s met with a look of confusion, she claps her hands together excitedly, only to quickly stop at his shrinking away, replacing the motion with wiggling toes instead. “Sad! Colors mean a lot of different things, like feelings! Blue is really vers- ver-“ Round features scrunch up in annoyance, tiny knuckles knocking and rocking against each other in thought before she huffs, turning back to the younger child- “Dad said it has a lot of meanings, it’s very big,” and she’s sure to stretch out her arms to show just how big, watches as blue follows, his tears and hiccups lessening.
“It can be happy, like red! Red makes me happy. Kat really likes blue like the sky and blueberries and the ocean! Mom likes greens, like grass and limes and broc- broco- brocli!” She doesn’t think she said it right, but that’s okay, he seems to be listening anyway, perks at the mention of the vegetable, blue darting towards the door.
She thinks he’s gross for liking it as much as he does, but she loves him anyway.
“What do you like?” She questions curiously, fingers wiggling as she presses her palms to her knees, just as the door is nudged open, a cat forcing her way into the room.
She knows her question isn’t ignored even as blue focuses on the feline, as blue gives way to pink and grows into red with each step closer of the cat, practically glowing with it by the time she finally turns and rubs the length of her body against his drawn up legs, tiny hands quickly reaching out and running down a furry back.
She just sits in silence beside him, listening to the purrs as she looks around. It’s a moment before her attention is brought back, small hand clasped by an even smaller one, lifting her hand to the cat’s collar, a deep, vibrant-
“Purple?” Ryo asks, tilting her head in slight confusion, only for Sato to nod energetically, free hand shaking, body bouncing in place. She can’t help the grin that stretches her lips, her own body bouncing along, fingers and toes wiggling contently.
“I’m glad you’re not blue anymore.”
Gold shut tight, teeth clenched, pale face flushed with anger; Amber bright and wide, hands shaking with the force of her passion; Pink lips split in a grin, smile as infectious as the happiness radiating off of her.
Her smile is quick, a hand lifting to brush disobedient hair back, a soft blush peppering her cheeks as honey eyes shyly raise; Manicured hands clasp together to keep themselves from shaking, body practically buzzing with energy she can just barely contain; Carefully plucked brows furrow in thought, lips pursing as she types away into her phone, searching for the answers to satiate her curiousity.
She blinks away the tears, swallows down the hiccups and tries to will away the sadness; Heat seeps into her form, tension slipping from slender shoulders as she sinks lower into fragrant water, relaxing as a cloud of calm settles atop her; Laughter spills past her lips as she looks at her friend, gaze soon latching onto another over slim shoulders and she feels her smile fading, feels warmth seeping from amber until a dead, cold stare is all he sees.
She looks over the wall of photographs, focusing on the subjects and details as her heart swells with pride; Words spill forth too quickly to track, gushing over the faux human skull in her hands, gaze oh so adoring; *so simple*, she thinks, working diligently on the assignment, ignoring the boredom tapping away at her skull as intelligence feels wasted.
Small hands shake violently as she tries to will the feeling away, tries to rid herself of the memory of that dog tongue running over her hand, disgust clear in childlike features; Honey keeps finding its way to her, watches the other girl shyly tuck her hair behind her ear, the boy before her grinning, saying something that has the girl blushing and she doesn’t think she’s been so envious of a boy before this; The lie flows off her tongue smoothly like so many before it, deceit disguised with a tinkering laugh and that pretty smile.
“-My boyfriend, Dean!” The little girl giggles, chubby hand tightening around his own as she swings it, heart warm and light and she’s sure this is what a crush feels like; The young woman flushes, gaze demurely drifting to the side, a hand coming to hide her soft grin and she’s sure she’s nailed embarrassment as the boy smiles; Red lips curve into a slight smirk, half-lidded amber coy in how they flick down and up once more, flirtatiously traversing the length of the body before her.
She adjusts the blazer, manicured hands tugging at the collar before moving to fix her hair, then her skirt, changing and adjusting and fixing until she’s the shining example of the mature young woman she’s meant to be; Her mother inspects the dress, a fusion of Japanese and Western fashion, elder hands coming to clasp her face once she’s done, beaming as she states, “The Matsui women make gorgeous, elegant brides.”; Her hands shake, smile struggling to stay plastered on her face as disobedient tears stream down her face, gaze staring unblinkingly though her twin, through one of the many black polka dots decorating her shirt, sinking into the growing void to block out the weight on her skirt- She feels the abrupt disconnect as the words settle, feels the moment liquid floods her eyes but not its overflow, pictures Dean so small and alone and hurt, hurting so much that he tried to- to actually leave and it feels like her organs are melting, like they’re being siphoned from her until she’s nothing but an empty, void husk-
Too young for self-awareness to have settled, the little girl runs and leaps and bounds between states, taking in all manners of sensory, pure and absorbent like an unused sponge.
I can be every color you like.