shaymin

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

the bus is never going to come because im a bad person

Does anyone else ever have a sort of phantom physical sense when there's something ready to paste in the clipboard. It feels like I've got something in my right hand and when I click ctrl-v I put it down.

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

unhealthy codependency is really a top tier dynamic. like they need each other to survive but god. should they.

hey, saw you on the dash. you have a kicked puppy vibe and i really like it. i’m just curious if you’re more of a traumatized shelter pup with separation anxiety or more of a feral dog with a long history of biting and aggression

Ah…….annuzzer day in bikini bottem………

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

yes!!! thank you!!! I hate when people do this, it's one of my uh... one of my... oh no...

Looks down and smiles lovingly at my boobs

Looks up and smiles smilingly at your boobs

Looks at the cave wall and smiles allegorically at the shadow of your boobs

*Looks behind me* who goes there

shlap shlap shlap shlap (sound of my titties hitting the bars in my minecraft jail )  let me out! let me outtttt!

"they've had intercourse" "i know that i'm asking if they've kissed"

I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually

as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around

why dont you make like a tree and feel the breeze and the sun and the changing of the seasons. and Grow